Our Vladik (aka Vladchik, Vlad, Sonichko, Lyubime…and on and on) has been home with us for 12 days now and it sorta feels like it’s been forever.  He is just the perfect fit for us and we are the perfect fit for him.  It’s like it was always meant to be.

After 15 years in institutions, and the last 11 at Romaniv- in one hallway, he is doing AMAZING.  It’s actually pretty miraculous. We aren’t sure all what Vladik does and doesn’t understand, but one thing is for sure: He was READY for a family.  From the day he left Romaniv with Jed in his new clothes and shoes he has never called us “Jed and Kim” again, only “Papa and Mama”.  He knows.  It’s a miracle.

Here’s the lowdown, for all the Vladik-lovers out there.  🙂

Siblings. Vladik is SO SO SOOOOOOOO happy to have siblings!!!!  He absolutely loves them all, being especially partial to the boys.  He likes to take them to school and walk them to their classrooms.  He gets super excited when it’s time to go pick up Hava and Seth (half-day kinders).  Like, even if he is on the swing (his most favorite thing), he’ll gladly pause if it means going to pick up the kids.  When he sees them standing in line with their class he runs over and gives them big hugs.  Vladik and Seth are great friends!  Finally Seth has someone who’s interested in cars and balls and all things BOY!  When Vladik and Seth are both home they are playing together constantly, joined at the hip.  They are truly God’s gift to each other.

Sleep.  Bringing home a newly adopted child is a lot like bringing home a newborn from the hospital.  Everything changes, the new “baby” requires a lot of mommy and daddy’s attention, you spend a lot of time figuring out eating and pooping habits (not so fun with a 15 year old..hehe..but then, is dealing with another person’s poop ever fun??).  But, I gotta say, after 8 straight years of constant newborns (foster and bio), I can fullyappreciate  Vladik’s amazing sleep habits.  He is a GREAT sleeper!!!

For now, Vladik sleeps in his own bed in the room with Jed and me.  It just makes good sense to have him close to us at night, for his own sense of security and our peace of mind, until we feel the time is right to move him in with the other kiddos.  He goes to sleep easily and he sleeps all night.  The only issue, and it’s a big one, is sleep apnea.  Sleep apnea is a common problem with kiddos with Apert Syndrome, and we have big concerns about it for our Vladik.  He snores loud all night long.  He can’t really breathe through his nose, so that’s an issue too.  He sleeps with his back arched and his head thrown back, which is a common position for kids who are struggling to get air.  He stops breathing and hacks and coughs all night long.  Making it possible for him to sleep safely is our number one medical priority for Vladik.

We have a great routine of a nightly shower and then massage before bed.  The other night he said “Papa, I’m going to sleep with mama tonight.  You sleep alone over there.”  hahahahahaha!  What a sweetie.

Language.  Vladik’s language is exploding!  He literally does not stop talking.  We aren’t speaking English to Vladik at all, we’re just sticking to Ukrainian.  If we were going to be living in the US we would start teaching him English, but there’s really no point since we are going back to Ukraine.  He is surrounded by English, since our family speaks that to each other all the time at home, so I’m sure he’ll pick it up.  But really, it is in everyone’s best interest to keep Vladik speaking Ukrainian.  We are improving our skills and he isn’t losing his.  Win win.  🙂  Vladik’s speech is super hard to understand, due to all the structural issues with his face, but we are understanding him better all the time.  I don’t know if that’s because his speech is improving or because we are just used to “Vladik speech”.  Either way, he is able to make his needs and wants understood, and we are able to communicate just fine.

Food.  This is the hardest thing at this point.  Vladik is used to eating the same 4-5 foods every.single.day.  There is not much texture in the Romaniv food because many of the boys have swallowing problems and very few teeth with which to chew.  Feeding time at Romaniv is CRAZY town.  But, I digress.  🙂 Anyway, Vladik has a hard time with new textures and new flavors.  So, the struggle is to find foods he’ll eat without me having to cook two different meals all the time. (Ain’t nobody got time for that!)  If I have a pot of mashed potatoes and a pot of soup in the fridge to fall back on, then all is well. But heaven forbid we should run out of mashed potatoes! 😉  We’re just trying to slowly intro new foods and at least make him try them before flat-out rejecting them.  It’s hard to know which struggles are sensory and which are structural.  Baby steps, baby steps.

Medical. Last week we started Vladik’s medical journey and it’s gonna be a long one, folks.  We had an appointment with our primary pediatrician and she basically referred us to every specialist known to man: neurosurgery, genetics, ear-nose-throat, Shriners for hands and feet, craniofacial, dentistry, ophthalmology, radiology (for scoliosis x-rays), occupational therapy,  and speech pathology/feeding. The referrals have been made, so now we just wait for everyone to call us to schedule appointments.  Let’s get this party started!

Social/Attachment.  Our Vladik is one smart cookie.  He understands that we are his family and he belongs with us.  He is appropriately shy with new people and there is no danger of him wanting to walk off with some random person.  He’s a naturally cautious kiddo, so he’s also not really a “wanderer”. During the adoption process, we prayed that God would prepare Vladik’s heart for a family and He has totally answered that prayer.  The boys at Romaniv have absolutely ZERO concept of what a family is.  They had never seen family modeled to them.  They have no books about families.  They are completely isolated from society and most have never experienced family life.  So Vladik’s entry into our family is something we were super curious about.  But he gets it.  He really does.  We have been building this bond for a couple of years now, so that has made everything a whole heck of a lot easier.  He already knew us and we were already the “good guys” in his life.  He accepts affection and is starting to be the one to initiate affection more every day.

As far as Vladik being 15 years old, coming from a really horrible environment, and being in the home with our little kids, we are not worried. He is definitely the youngest, developmentally, and does not at all take on a dominating role.  That’s just not his personality. We are taking appropriate precautions though, and we know we need to be wise. We have seen where he came from. 🙁   For instance, for now, Vladik sleeps in our room. We always have the kids in earshot or in our line of sight when they are playing. We are trying to teach our other kids a bit more modesty (they’re not very good about that here at home) 🙂 and explaining to them why it’s important that we be modest in front of Vladik: “To teach him how he should behave in a family…” But all in all, we have no big concerns. He is appropriate and very much still a little boy. We knew that about him before we ever decided to bring him into our family.

Emotional/Spiritual. Vladik is absolutely amazing. He is a miracle. How in the world did he keep his joy throughout all he endured? He is ALWAYS happy. He is the light of our family’s lives. He is thoughtful and obedient (most of the time) and pure sunshine. He brings us immense joy.

The only time he has really acted out was at the doctor’s office. He was very nervous and stressed. He wouldn’t listen and was acting so crazy- as in, I’ve never ever seen him like that before. Then he started talking. He spoke of Romaniv and people there, things they did. To each other. To him. Our hearts were broken. To the average person, it’s hard to imagine, by looking at our boy, how immensely he has suffered. I can almost forget it myself. And then he talks. Then we remember that one month of freedom doesn’t erase 11 years in hell on earth. His journey to complete healing will be a long one, but he is already well on his way.

Many people have asked us if Vladik misses Romaniv or his friends there. It’s a good question, especially when so many people love our Boys there so deeply and associate that love with “Romaniv” as a whole. But I have to tell you, that to ask that question is to not understand what Romaniv truly is. I don’t say that to look down my nose at you, or to shame the askers, I’m just saying that if you spent 10 minutes just observing Romaniv life, not playing there, but just observing, you would never even wonder about that question. Life at Romaniv consists of fences, walls, benches, neglect, abuse, survival of the fittest, and horrors most of us would never imagine even exist in this present time. NO person, let alone a child, should have to stay even one night there.

You all know how deeply committed we are to Romaniv. You know that we have hope for change and we are committed to change there. You know we love the boys, and we also love the staff and administration. We do! God has called us there- to give our lives to these boys, these nannies, these directors. And because of that deep love and commitment, I feel I can speak honestly and frankly about the reality. I hope you understand.

This morning Vladik was looking at the pictures on our fridge of some of the boys and he saw the Isolation Hall, his home for 11 years, in the picture.  He pointed to the window that he used to spend hours staring out of and said “My bedroom.” I said, “Yes, you used to sleep there, but not now!” He just looked at the picture and said “I don’t like that room. I don’t want that room. Foo! (Ukrainian for ‘yuck!’) It’s bad! I don’t want that picture.” Then with a glance at me for permission, he took the picture off the fridge and handed it to me. “All done!” He said. Then I asked him to show me his bedroom. We ran into our room and flopped down on the comfy bed, all giggles and cuddles.

That’s right. All done, sweet boy. You’ve got your whole life in front of you. 🙂

Did you know several other boys at Romaniv are available for adoption? They can have the same future as Vladik if only a few brave families will step up and say yes. Could you be one of the rescuers? You can read about the boys here and here. Please, read about them with an open heart and see what God might say. Thank you! 

Our family of seven is together at last.  Vladik and Jed arrived from Ukraine on Thursday night.  The wait is over!!  After months of loving our Vladik and leaving him behind a gate, he is out and ours forever.  We are so full of joy.

So it’s been 4 days home together and I’m just in awe that he’s really here.

Vladik sitting at our kitchen table.  Vladik shooting hoops in the driveway with Seth.  Vladik shopping with us at Winco. Vladik on the carousel. Vladik at church.  Vladik NOT at Romaniv.

He loves to play, watch cars, and take showers.  After 15 years of constant filth and neglect, he just beams when he knows he is clean.

It’s like a dream.

He’s doing awesome.  Of course, there are adjustments to be made and there have been a few tears, as we all process yet ANOTHER transition, but in general he just fits us like a glove.  This is a love that has grown and developed over two years, so there is a lot that is natural about it.

I’ll talk more about the details of his adjustment later in the week, I just wanted to let you know that he is home and we are blessed.  I can say with complete honesty that we are eternally grateful and humbled that God gave Vladik to us.  He is a precious soul that has been hidden away for far too long, and we are the ones who get to watch him come to life.  It’s the best thing ever.

Every day, multiple times a day, Vladik asks each member of our family if we love him.  “Mama, do you love me?  Papa, do you love me?  Addy, do you love me?  Ezra, do you love me?  Hava, do you love me?  Seth, do you love me?”  When we answer that yes, we love him forever, he laughs and claps his hands with joy.  That love, that belonging, all of our Boys deserve that.  My heart breaks that even though Vladik is out, they remain.

A wise adoptive mama friend said this, and it is also my heart’s cry:

“I have become convinced that to be indifferent, to do nothing, to ignore, to refuse to act, to stand back and allow broken and wounded populations to continue to suffer…this is the great sin of our lifetime. We are a generation of emotionally paralyzed people, and thus our behaviors become paralyzed. We spend so much time waiting for a sign, a signal, a calling…that we forget to DO. This simply must change. We as humans, as fellow travelers in this life, in this moment, must work, and work HARD to change what is unjust. The moment is now. Stalling has only ever cost us liberties, time, and lives. The procrastination just isn’t worth the price.

GO and DO.

Change the world.

Change a life, and in so doing change YOUR life.

Pay attention to the brokenness. 

Give generously. 

Love big and refuse to look back.

Even when it is hard, you will never regret it”

This is Part 3 in our adoption story.  You can read Part One here and Part Two here!

After camp Jed and I both began to see Vladik differently.  Our hearts toward him were changing, but it wasn’t something we talked about with each other.  We both just knew in our hearts we had a special love for him. Honestly, every person who serves at Romaniv has their “favorite”.  Ha!  You know, that one boy that you just connect with in a special way.  My “favorite” changes from week to week.  😉

Separately, Jed and I both began to think more and more about Vladik.  Our love for him grew and grew. Separately, we started to wonder if God had something more for us and Vladik together.  We didn’t know even what that would mean.  We didn’t know how old Vladik was (it’s impossible to guess the ages of the boys at Romaniv), if he was even available for adoption (only 9 boys out of 86 at Romaniv can be adopted), or what God had in mind. Then, over time we both, separately (great communication skills, eh?), began to feel like God was maybe asking us to consider adoption.  Holy smokes.  Scary thought.  It’s one thing to love Vladik at Romaniv and camp.  It’s a whole other thing to love him in our home, as our son, for the rest of his life.

In October Jed and I began to talk about Vladik together.  We both shared with the other our musings about adoption and laughed about how crazy it sounded to bring pursue adopting one of our boys while continuing to live in Ukraine.  Was it even possible?  I mean, all of our boys have so many needs, could we raise Vladik here and continue to be effective in the work God has called us to?  Was Vladik even adoptable?  What about our other kiddos?  Were there any safety concerns for them?  Would a family need to live in America to be able to adequately care for Vladik’s medical needs?  How could we afford an international adoption while living on raised support?  Would it be possible to do an American adoption from Ukraine while living in Ukraine? So much to pray about and consider. We decided to keep those thoughts to ourselves for the time being and just wait on the Lord.  We knew that if He wanted Vladik to join our family He would speak to us.

The very next morning, after we had first talked about our love for Vladik we got an email from a dear friend in Switzerland. She told us that she had had a dream about us and felt like she was supposed to share, even if it sounded strange to us. She dreamed that she was coming to visit us in Ukraine and we were so excited because we were adopting two boys from Romaniv!  In the end we ended up adopting one boy, but then before we could get back to adopt the other one he passed away. 🙁

Of course we didn’t know what the whole dream meant, but wow.  What an encouragement from the Lord that he would speak to us through our friend about adoption when we had told NO ONE our hearts! Shortly after that we found out from the assistant director of the institution that Vladik was one of the few boys available for adoption!  Oh my.

Then came November, a really dark time for us.  We began to learn more about what makes Romaniv the way it is.  Jed always says “Romaniv didn’t get the way it is from everybody doing their best job.”  Ain’t that the truth.  The plain and simple truth is that the enemy has kept that place in darkness for far too long, and he doesn’t plan to give it up easily.  This work we do is absolutely our dream come true.  We couldn’t imagine doing anything else, yet this work comes with plenty of pain and heartache. All is not lollipops and roses.  We try to be very positive about what we share on social media about the Boys and our work.  It’s not like we’re dishonest or anything, it’s just very important to us that we always maintain the boys’ dignity, and to remember hope when we share.  Our boys have had everything stolen from them.  We will not go in and steal their dignity as well.  Honestly, though, the more and more time we spend at Romaniv, the more and more layers of ugliness we uncover.  That’s just bound to happen.  In that regard, November was just plain rough on our spirits. It was not pretty. We couldn’t manage to think of much except putting one foot in front of the other.  The weight of injustice became almost too much to bear.  Adoption dreams were on the backburner.

Then two of our boys whom we love VERY much were sent to a hospital several hours away and were lost to us.  The Director said they would be gone for at least a year, and “maybe forever”.  It felt like a death.  We just arrived one day and they were gone.  Oh, the tears.  We were devastated because we knew those boys would not understand what was happening.  Would they be scared?  Would they be treated well?  Then we remembered our friend’s dream.  One of the boys that was sent away, Valera, was Vladik’s only real “peer” in the Isolation Hall.  He was the one other boy who would try to play a little, and the two of them were attached at the hip.  One of our big issues with adopting Vladik was knowing we could never take him away and leave Valera behind, but Valera was too old to be adopted. When we first started talking about adopting we had discussed trying to get guardianship of Valera and were really thinking we could find a way to take him home too, and then he was gone.  Just like the dream.  So, so sad.  Maybe this adoption idea was too much for our hearts to take on.

Sweet Valera

December came and we prepared to make a couple Christmas videos for Wide Awake, to introduce people to two of our boys.  Jed decided to feature Boris in his video because they have a really special connection.  I couldn’t decide who to feature in mine!  After lots of indecision, I decided to feature Vladik in my video because my deepest connection was with him, and I hoped maybe his family would discover him by watching the video.  Jed and I had basically stopped talking about adopting him ourselves, so if he couldn’t be ours I made it my mission to find him a family of his own.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzJGaFq6SKI]

Thousands of people saw the videos of Boris and Vladik.  🙂  Only a few days passed and a family wrote an email inquiring about adopting him!  My heart leaped and sank at the same time when I read their email.  Is that even possible?  It sure felt like it.  We wanted a family for him so badly, but oh man, I had so hoped it would be us.  Whenever our kids would watch the video of Vladik (which they were slightly obsessed with) Havalah would say “But Mommy, we don’t really want him to be adopted right?  Because then we would never get to see him anymore!”  She said it every.single.time.  Anyway, I got over myself 😉 and was truly excited to get that inquiry about Vladik, but then we found out that the interested parents were too young to adopt Vladik.  They were only 12 years older than him, and by Ukrainian law adoptive parents have to be at least 15 years older than the child they are adopting.  Back to the drawing board, loving our boy more than ever after seeing how many people responded to his preciousness in the video.

  
Then one morning in January Jed woke up early and felt like God spoke to him super clearly, “So, when are you gonna finally move forward with adopting Vladik?”  Uuuuuuh now, I guess????  Ha!  Jed came and told me he felt like we were supposed to go for it, and that was that.  I mean, we loved him, he needed a family, it was really a no-brainer.  All of our reasons for saying no seemed absolutely fearful and selfish and lame.  Our baby was right in front of our faces and he needed his mommy and daddy.  We sought wisdom from our parents, our pastor, and a few friends, and they were all completely supportive and completely not surprised.  🙂  In mid-January we began working on documents, and on August 31st Vladik became our son.

It might have taken 15 years, but Vladik is finally found.  We pray and believe that God will use Vladik to be a voice for those who are yet to be rescued. We pray and believe that God will use our family, and our adoption story to show Ukrainian people the value of our Boys.  It’s awesome, God has spoken to us, and to many others that Vladik is going to bring our family so much joy.  We know that of course there are bound to be some rough moments ahead, but we just keep getting the word “JOY”.  As Jed and I drove away from court after the judge declared Vladik was our son we had tears streaming down our faces: “How is it that God saved Vladik for us?  How did we get to be the lucky ones?”

He is so valuable.  He is so beautiful.  He is our baby and we are the happiest, most blessed family in the world.

This is the second part in a series about our adoption story. You can read Part One here. 

After God turned our hearts to Ukraine, and orphans with special needs there, we knew we had to go check it out for ourselves. I remember the first time we visited Romaniv in 2012. We saw Vladik there and our hearts were touched because we saw that he had Apert Syndrome like Jonah, the boy we had loved. I even wrote a bit about him here. Then, as you know, we ended up moving to Ukraine in November of 2013. YAY!

After our move, we began to visit Romaniv every week with MTU (Mission to Ukraine) and grew to love all the boys. The boys in the Isolation Hall were our main focus and every week our love for them deepened as we came to know them more.

We loved Vladik very much, but honestly, not any differently than any of the other boys. I guess he held a special place in our hearts because of Jonah, but we weren’t considering adoption at all. I promise! Ha! We had ended up adopting our Seth before we moved and felt that someday we would adopt again, and most likely that would be a Ukrainian adoption, but the idea was far away in the future. We did not even remotely think about adopting one of our boys. I mean, how could you pick just one, when our biggest dream is that they would all know the love of a family? Yeah, not happening.

Then came MTU summer camp. The last two summers our family has had the EXTREME pleasure of serving at camps for kids with disabilities, put on by Mission to Ukraine, one of our non-profit partners here in Zhytomyr.

They have loved our Vladik for many years. Just look at these pictures! 

  
  
MTU actually plays a giant role in every part of this adoption. We came to Zhytomyr to volunteer for MTU. We heard about the work they were doing at Romaniv and longed to be a part of it. They had been visiting the boys for several years before we came along. If it weren’t for God leading us to MTU there is no doubt in my mind- we would not know Vladik. 🙂 THANK YOU MTU!!!!

Anyway, every year Romaniv sends 6 boys to MTU’s camp, along with one of the nannies. This is outrageously amazing for our boys. They never ever leave the grounds of Romaniv. It is their entire world. But, every summer 6 boys get to escape for 8 days and truly LIVE.

They are treasured at camp. They laugh at camp. They play at camp. It’s like Disneyland on steroids for these boys. We were at camp last July waiting for the bus to arrive from Romaniv and who, to our enormous surprise, stepped off the bus? VLADIK! We had no idea any of our boys from Isolation were coming!!!! Vladik had never been to camp before! We were so happy!!!!

You guys, Vladik did so great at camp. Oh, my word. He started out the week with many institutional behaviors (screaming at the wrong time, loud noises at inappropriate times…) but after only 2 days at camp, those behaviors were gone. He was trying to sing the songs and do the motions. He was doing his best at the games. He was sitting quietly during lessons. He gained new words every day. It was so beautiful.

The most unexpected and most beautiful thing for Jed and me was how Vladik connected with our kids. Addy and Ezra had met him at Romaniv before camp, and Vladik had immediately taken a liking to Ezra. Vladik likes most people, but for some reason (God) he really latched on to Ezra during the couple of times Ez came to Romaniv. That relationship only grew at camp- and the feeling was mutual. Ez was drawn to Vladik and really began to love him.

One night toward the end of camp, I was putting the kids to bed in our room and all the lights were out. Jed was away and the kids and I were talking about our day. I asked them each what was the best moment of their day and the most difficult moment of their day. That day the camp had held the Special Olympics, so there were a lot of great moments to talk about. When it came to my turn to share Ezra piped up, “Mom, I bet I know what your hardest moment was. When the Romaniv boys were getting their medals at the Olympics I saw you crying. I bet that was hard for you.” I answered him that that moment was actually my best and most difficult moment all at once. It was the best because I saw all the joy on the boys’ faces and I was so happy to see them so happy. But it was the hardest because they were the only campers who didn’t have a mommy to walk them up to the front to get their medal. I was sad because I knew they were going home tomorrow and I knew that their home was not a good place.

All of a sudden, in the dark room I heard a weeping, almost a wailing coming from one of the beds. It was Ezra! “Ezra! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Mommy, why? Why do the boys have to live there? Why do they have no mommy? It’s not fair. I don’t want them to go back there! Why does Vladik have to live there? He’s my friend. How long is he gonna have to wait till his family finds him?”

Pretty soon all four of my kids were weeping. Their hearts were broken for the boys. In that moment they really got it. They really began to understand why we live here in Ukraine. They began to understand why we sold everything and came to love these boys. Ezra said “Mom, we can never leave Ukraine. The boys need us!”

That camp, that night, our kids fell in love with Vladik. That night my heart began to shift. I began to see Vladik in a new way. I shared the story with Jed and he cried. We could barely stand to see him get on that bus to head back to Romaniv. Something was stirring. God was up to something!!

PS: Thank you MTU for the pics of Vladik when he was little 🙂 

This is the first in a series of posts about our adoption.  It’s a miraculous story and I pray God uses it to speak to other families who are considering adoption.  So many boys and girls like our Vladik wait and wait for their lives to begin.  Every child deserves the love of a family.  Would you read with an open heart and ask God how He would have you respond? 

This is a love story.  For God so loved Vladik, that He preserved his life until the day his mommy and daddy would find him.  For God so loved our family, that He picked us up out of our lives and dropped us across the world so that we could find our baby.

One night, in August 2010, with newborn Seth, our foster baby asleep at my side, I was browsing online.  I have no idea what I was looking for, but somehow I came across the blog of a woman who had just returned from Ukraine, having adopted two little girls with Down Syndrome.  Her story caught my attention and I ended up reading her whole adoption story in one evening.  One blog led to another, which led to another, and pretty soon I found myself immersed in a world I had had no idea existed, the world of special needs adoption.  My heart was broken in two, never to be the same.

Jed and I always knew we would adopt someday.  We believed in orphan care and it was important to us.  Since before we were married we had dreamed of moving overseas to care for orphans.  That’s why I became a nurse!  While we waited for God to send us overseas we fostered medically fragile babies.  So yeah, adoption was on our radar, but not orphans with disabilities, or kids with disabilities in general.  We just hadn’t thought of it.  Well, maybe that’s not all true.  We had thought of it and then rejected it.  “Yes, we’ll adopt- but only healthy kids.  We could never raise a child that would require our hands-on care forever.”  We fostered babies with special needs, but that wasn’t permanent.

Jed with baby Seth, during our fostering days 🙂

A while later I came upon Julia’s blog.  Julia was advocating and still does advocate, for orphans with disabilities.  Fun Fact: We have since met each other twice here in Ukraine, and Julia even got to come to Romaniv to meet our Boys!  Isn’t God fun?   Julia was advocating for a little guy in Ukraine with Apert Syndrome.  Did you know our new son Vladik has this same syndrome? Like I said, God is fun 🙂  I had never heard of that syndrome and didn’t know anything about it, but that boy struck me.  I read her post and learned that he was 4 years old and about to be transferred to a bad place- an institution.  He needed to be adopted quickly.  I’m telling you what, I fell for that baby hard.  Jed came home one night to a red-faced, sobbing wife and was a little confused.  Ha!  I started rambling to him about Ukraine and orphans with disabilities and mental institutions and teenagers in cribs and “aging out” and he stood there shocked.  I told him “We have to DO SOMETHING.  We can’t just sit by and let this happen.  We have to do something!!!”  He was a little shell-shocked but agreed to pray about it and see if God laid it on his heart as well.  What a guy.  🙂

In the meantime “Jonah”, the little Apert guy was constantly on my mind.  His face was in my dreams.  I would weep over him and all the little ones in cribs as I did the dishes. My heart ached and the ache wouldn’t stop.  The Holy Spirit was at work.  God was working in Jed’s heart too, and soon we were both praying about how to respond to Jonah, specifically.  We prayed for many months.  We sought counsel from our parents and our pastor.  We prayed some more.  Then in early 2011, after much prayer, many miracles, and confirmations (SO MANY), it became abundantly clear that God was asking us to move forward to adopt Jonah.

The first photo we saw of Jonah

We were so excited!!!  This sweet one who had captured our hearts would be our son!  Gone were the worries about raising a child who would need our care forever.  We could have cared less.  All of our old worries and hesitations seemed so selfish.  In the light of what these babies suffer without a mommy and daddy to fight for them, in the light of what Jesus did for us…how could I be worried about losing our “empty nester” years???  Our child needed us.

So, we sent in the initial commitment paperwork and money to say to the adoption world “You don’t need to advocate for this one anymore, we’re coming for him!”  In Ukraine, there is no referral given to adoptive families before they travel.  You can pursue the adoption of a certain child, but until you actually get to Kyiv and request their file there is no guarantee that you will actually get that child.  Another family could go there first and adopt them, not knowing your intentions.  You could get there and that child may not even be adoptable.  There are many unknowns.  We were aware of that, but when we got the email a few weeks after we had sent in our initial paperwork, letting us know that another American family who was already in Ukraine was adding our boy to their adoption, we were utterly devastated.

Shocked.  Heartbroken.  Confused.  Happy for our Jonah, that he could have a mommy and daddy so soon, but heartsick that they were not us.

We had loved Jonah from afar for many months and now we would never even get to meet him.  God had spoken so clearly.  We had researched the heck out of Apert Syndrome and felt so well-equipped.  Miracles paved the way for us to begin the adoption process.  God, what was that all about?  What were you doing?  Why?

Then God spoke again.  Jed was out mowing the lawn, praying, asking God what He was up to and he felt God speak to Him so clearly,

“Jed, I am so much more interested in the process than in the end result.  You have one end result in mind, but I’m taking you on a journey.  I needed you to love Jonah like a father.  I needed you to love him with abandon.  I needed you to have that father’s heart for Jonah because I need you to love lots of little boys and girls like Jonah.”

And so it happened that a little boy with Apert Syndrome caught our hearts and led us to Ukraine.  A little boy with Apert Syndrome broke our hearts for Ukrainian orphans.  He helped us to fall in love with children with disabilities- so in love that we would give up everything and cross the world to touch them and smile at them and hold them in our arms.  God used Jonah to start us on the best journey of our lives- the journey to our Boys and our own little treasure, our Vladik.

To be continued 🙂

  
Vladislav Christopher Johnson- orphan no more! 

Today, in a courtroom in Romaniv, Ukraine, Vladik was legally declared to be our son. We are officially a family of seven! 

Ours was the first international adoption in the town of Romaniv and we are praying it helps to pave the way for many more to come after us. The court went well and although it was a long, serious affair, there was nothing scary or tense about it. All the parties represented agreed that our family adopting Vladik was in his best interest. The representative from the orphanage said “You can see they love him like parents.  It’s almost like he’s already a part of their family!” 

Ain’t that the truth. 

Remember when I wrote this post about Vladik being found by a super lucky family? So yeah, the secret’s out: we are that most lucky family. It was KILLING us to keep the secret for all those months. Whew! I’m so glad we can now share our joy with the world. 

The story of how we came to adopt Vladik is wonderful and beautiful, and tomorrow I’ll begin to share it all with you.

Now we have a 10-day wait (Ukrainian law), and then we will be able to take Vladik out of the orphanage FOREVER. 

The first of our Boys, redeemed. 

Once he was abandoned, but today he is a beloved son, brother, grandson, nephew, and cousin.

Our hearts are full and we pray many families will come after us. Our Boys are absolutely treasures. How blessed are we that God gave one of those precious treasures to us for our very own?? We are the luckiest. 

Praise God. He sets the lonely in families!!!! 

Where in the world is the Johnson Fam?  Are you finding it impossible to keep up with all our comings and goings and craziness?  Yeah, me too.  🙂  I did a big catch-up post here, for the curious.

I’m sitting in the Houston Airport, on my way back to Ukraine for adoption court. YES!  Jed is already back in Ukraine working away with our Boys, moving out of our house, and spending lots of quality time with our soon-to-be-son.  Our other kiddos are back in Salem at some wonderful friends’ house.  Grammy (Jed’s mommy) flew to Oregon from Montana to care for them while I’m gone for court.  So, we’re all spread out for now, but it’s all gonna be worth it, because soon our son will be OUT forever!!!  I hope and pray all goes well at court on Monday and I can do a big, fat introduction/birth announcement.

We arrived in the US as a family on August 11th and had the most wonderful 10 days together before Jed flew back to Ukraine.  It was just pure awesomeness.

We only pack the necessities

Ol’ Faithful mustache tape has served us well

At the airport in Kyiv!

You know, I had read lots of missionary/expat tips on how to re-enter the US after being away for a while, and they all recommended heading someplace that is not your home base and just being together as a family before seeing family and friends.  All the recommendations talked about how it is helpful just to decompress as a family, get over jetlag without demands on your attention and all that.  I thought it sounded like a great idea, but not great on the ol’ budget.  Well, God totally took care of that!  A wonderfully generous couple from Ventura, CA whom we had NEVER MET gave us their house for 5 days.  They left and just let us take over their beautiful home and it was the hugest blessing ever!!!  We went to the beach (where Jed and I proceeded to win the worst parents in the world award by letting our kids get completely fried…oops #babylobsters), we watched tons of movies, we oogled over Target and Trader Joes, I read and read and read some more, and the icing on the cake: Jed and I got to go see my brother star in a musical in La Jolla.  It was AWESOME.  Thank you Dan and Jeannie for blessing us so completely.

Jet lag is a beast!

I’m so proud of my brother!

After our 5 day rest, my family drove down and we all met in Anaheim for 4 days of Disney!!!  My heaven!  Haha! My parents had been saving and planning for this family trip for 2 years and it was absolutely perfection.  Seriously.  It could not have been better!

We did two days of Disneyland and two days of California Adventure and we loved every second of it.  My parents rented a house with a pool so every day we would come back in the afternoon and the kids would swim with their cousins.  Best.trip.ever.  Thank you Mom and Dad for that most wonderful, memorable gift!

Gotta represent Wide Awake! 🙂

Jed flew back to Ukraine on our last day of Disney and the kids and I flew up to Oregon.  Then it was school registration (EEK!) and school supply shopping and embassy document notarizing and health insurance document mailing and doctor’s office calling and soon-to-be-son clothes shopping and back-to-America-culture-shocking (more on that later).  I pretty much ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, so it’s lucky that Grammy arrived when she did to save my children from their crazy mommy! 😉

Seth forgot about booster seats. Ha!

My kids were FASCINATED and in awe of the cereal aisle

A once in a lifetime experience: they each got to pick out their own cereal.

We’ve been so busy we even lost a tooth!

The kids insisted we walk to the library instead of driving. “We don’t want to lose our Ukrainian legs Mom!”

We are so blessed and SO excited to be just about done with this legal stage of the adoption.  We’re ready for the family stage now. Our mommy and daddy hearts are positively busting at the seams.  We are so close!  The kids are doing amazing.  They are so flexible and adaptable and brave.  They want their brother home super bad too.

Soon, baby soon!!

I’m here!  I’m here!  Oh.My.Gooooooodness.  It’s been such a long time.

I had this whole introspective, from-the-gut-post in the works, but, while trying to finish it up I realized I just don’t have the energy for that right now.  So, you get a not-from-the-gut informative post instead.  🙂

There are a whole lot of emotions goin’ on around here, that’s for sure.  We are gearing up for our first visit back to the States, as a family.  We leave on Tuesday.  WHAT????  Pure craziness I tell ya.  Our life is never boring.  All my introspective writing was on our feelings about leaving our Boys and it was UGLY. The thought of being so far away from our Boys for several months brings on an instantaneous sob-fest, so I’d rather not delve too deep into that topic.  Let’s just say that we don’t want to leave them, but we are excited to be with family and friends.  It’s confusing, and not black and white.  So, there.

  

Here’s the skinny on what is happening in our life.  Deep breath, here goes:

ADOPTION.  We are in the home stretch of the adoption process!  In fact, we were supposed to have court today, but it was rescheduled for August 31st.  There were no jurors available today and yeah, it’s frustrating, I cried a lot, but we know that God’s timing is perfect.  After court on August 31st, there will be a 10-day mandatory waiting period and then we will get to take our boy out of Romaniv forever!!!!  I can’t wait to introduce him to you!

TRAVEL TO THE US.  We had already planned, before our move to Ukraine that we would head to the US as a family for our first visit in August 2015.  Many, many months ago my parents planned that when we arrived, in August 2015, they would take all of their kids and grandkids to Disneyland.  Well, the time is upon us!  Woohoo!  The timing is a little stinky, with our adoption court rescheduling, but oh well.  We are just thanking God for this last big hurrah before we have another son and our lives change forever.   Don’t people call that like a “babymoon” or something crazy like that?  Let’s call Disneyland our “babymoon”, never mind that our baby is 15 years old.  Hehe.  (details, details)

So our family will leave Ukraine on Tuesday and fly straight to California.  We will have a few days to catch our breath before my family joins us for Disney.  Jed will leave Disney early (on the 20th) to fly back to Ukraine.  He was supposed to be picking up our son at that point, but then court was rescheduled, and yada yada yada.  We couldn’t change his ticket.  Whatevs.  The kids and I will head to Oregon after Disneyland and start to get settled a bit, get ready for school to start.  I will fly back to Ukraine for court on the 29th.  I’ll leave the kids with family and friends in Oregon.

After court, I will come back to Oregon and Jed will stay in Ukraine to finish up all the documents for our new son.  Then he and our newest Johnson will fly and meet us in Oregon.  Together at last!!!

HOUSING.  We decided right after we got home from camp that it would be best to move out of the house we rent in Ukraine and put our stuff in storage.  We really can’t afford to pay for a house that’s not being used here, and a house that we’ll be using in Oregon.  So, we’ve been busy packing up and moving out.  FUN.

While in Oregon we will be renting a house from some crazy-generous friends who are giving us a screaming deal.  Praise God!!!  Friends and family are letting us borrow stuff to set up a temporary Oregon home.  🙂  Thanks!   We don’t know where we’ll live when we come back from America, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.    I can’t think about it now or my head will explode.

SCHOOL.  Our kids (minus the new arrival) will be attending school in Oregon!  This will be a first for them.  Addy and Ez have been to school in Ukraine, but we homeschooled in the US before, so this will be a new adventure for us.  We know our new son will need a TON of medical care and there is just no way I can meet his needs and homeschool 4 kids, so this feels like the most peaceful decision.  I’m a little nervous about it though!  Eeeek!

TIMING.  We aren’t exactly sure how long we will be in the US.  The working plan is that Jed will stay for about 2 months, and then return to Ukraine.  There is a TON of work that needs to be done here (always) and he just can’t be gone for a long time.  The kids and I will stay behind in Oregon until our new son gets the medical care that he urgently needs.  We don’t know how long that will take.  We anticipate more than one major surgery with specialist surgeons.  Things like that just don’t happen fast.  I’m prepping myself to be gone from Ukraine for at least 6 months.  I can’t think about it too much though or I turn into a basket case.  Oh, my friends at Romaniv!  But, our top priority is getting our new son healthy, so we will do what it takes to make that happen.  🙂

WIDE AWAKE.  Are you signed up for our newsletters?  If you aren’t, you should. You can do it here.  I’ll confess that we have not been stellar about sending them out super regularly this year.  But it’s in our hearts to do better with that.  Anywayssss in our last newsletter we talked about Wide Awake’s partnership with a local church here in Zhytomyr.  Christian Youth Church is the church our family attends here in Z-town and we love our friends there.  The vast majority of Wide Awake’s volunteers are from Youth Church, and they are our fam here in Ukraine.

Wide Awake gave a grant to Youth Church to be used to carry on the work with our Boys while we are in the US.  The grant pays for the work of volunteer recruitment and management and will pay for the drivers and gas to get the teams to Romaniv while we are away.  Vika, our friend and volunteer, is in charge of the Romaniv work for Youth Church and she has already done an amazing job of growing the work while we were away at camp.  She has recruited many new volunteers and we have now added a Saturday team!  So now the boys get teams coming AT LEAST three days a week, and many weeks they get even more visits than that.  Praise God for Youth Church and their love for the Boys!  We are leaving the work in good hands and we know that our teams will continue to be faithful, even though we will be so far away.  What a huge relief!

That’s the skinny!  It’s a lot.  I know.  If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.  Thanks for coming along on this wild ride.  We could never do it alone.  🙂

Summer is in full swing around here and it kind of feels like we’re on a roller coaster at this point.  We know we’re safe, we’re all buckled in, but it’s moving a little too fast for comfort and we kinda want it to slow down, but it’s also really good and all the spins are kind of fun, we we don’t want it to stop.

There’s a lot going on and there’s about to be a lot MORE going on, so I better fill you in while I have the chance.  HOLYMOLY.

We have a volunteer arriving on Sunday and she’ll be here for 3 weeks!  Sara is a massage therapist and works at a community for adults with special needs in Arizona.  She will be helping us implement massage at Romaniv and will be doing some teaching for the nurse there.  We are excited to have her along on this crazy journey.  I’m super interested to see how the boys do with massage!  I’m anticipating a strong learning curve…hehe  THISCOULDGETINTERESTING.

On July 7th we’ll head to Mission to Ukraine’s yearly summer camp for kids with disabilities.  There will be two camps and we will volunteer at both of them. Camp was the highlight of our family’s year last year, so we are very excited to do it again.  Woot!  We’ll basically be there for the month of July.  MTU camp is like my heaven.  ILOVEITSOMUCH.

On July 13th we’ll take a little leave from camp because we have our appointment in Kyiv to request our referral and officially begin the adoption process here in country!!!  Yes!!!  Our adoption dossier was accepted and we are ultra, mega, outrageously excited to get this show on the road.  If all goes well we should have our son out of the orphanage and in our arms by the end of August!  CAN’TCOMESOONENOUGH.

 After the adoption is complete we will all head to the US for our first visit as a family since our move here in 2013.  Our new son will need to go to the US in order to become a citizen, and he also needs quite a bit of medical care, so off we go!  Actually, before we ever moved to Ukraine we had decided that August 2015 would be the time for all of us to come back to the US to visit family, friends, and supporters.  We just had no idea we’d also be bringing back another child!  BIGGESTSURPRISEEVAHHHHH.

The plan right now is that Jed will be in the US for about 2 months and then he’ll return to Ukraine to get back to work. The kids and I will plan to stay in the US until we get our new son’s most urgent medical needs met.  Then we’ll join Jed back in Ukraine. We’re thinking maybe the kids and I will be in the States till after Christmas?  I’m just not sure.  We’re open and we don’t want to rush things.  But in a way it will probably feel like our lives are on pause.  I’m not sure how we’ll navigate that well.  I guess one day at a time.  I get overwhelmed if I think about it too much, so I won’t.  At least not right now.  🙂 PROCRASTINATIONISMYSPIRITUALGIFT.

So, that’s where things stand right now.  A lot goin on, and lot yet to come.  We are doing well, just maybe a bit overwhelmed at the moment.  We have so many ideas, so many plans for the Boys, for the work here.  It’s hard to imagine leaving it all and going so far away.  Wide Awake is granting our local church here in Zhytomyr with funds to be able to coordinate and continue the work at Romaniv while we are gone, so that is really reassuring.  We won’t be leaving the boys without love and care.  Our volunteers will continue to faithfully go and love the boys.  It will just be hard for us to be away. Yet it will be wonderful to be with family and friends in America.  Yet we will also be adjusting to a new son and helping him learn how to be part of a family.  Yet we will not be bringing him home to the house and community where we actually live…at least not right away.

Lots of thoughts, lots of emotions, lots of awesomeness happening, lots of everything.  I’ll do my best to keep you posted along the way.  Thank you all for being such a dear part of this journey.  Thank you for your prayer, your encouragement, your friendship, your financial support.  We have felt so much love and support along every step of this journey.  Praise God we don’t have to walk this path alone!  You are a blessing to us.   WELOVEYOULOTSANDLOTS.

Pics: Hava in Kyiv with her perty new headband, our beautiful Addy and Hava in Kyiv, St. Andrews Church in Kyiv, our kids with a famous statue outside the adoptions office in Kyiv, St. Michaels Church in Kyiv (my fave), Seth is taller than Hava (and 17 months younger!), my everyday morning view, our garden when it was beautiful, our garden infested with bugs (grrrr…ain’t nobody got time for that!), Seth posing with his new bike, my kids being “special”, our neighborhood!

We have been so privileged and honored to have an amazing medical team here from Germany the past couple of weeks.  I tear up every time I think of them.  They are with our Boys right now and I feel so incredibly humbled that they would take time off work and spend their own money to serve our boys with their whole selves.

Having them here beside us, fighting for our Boys right along with us, has been absolutely humbling and awe-inspiring.  I am changed because of it. You see, I know, and Jed knows that our Boys have tremendous value.  No one needs to prove that to us.  They are our dear friends.  Jed and I were talking about it the other night,  and I can honestly say that we have to come to the point where we love them as much as we love our own four children here at home.  I’m a mother of 90.  🙂  We would go to the ends of the earth for our Addy, Ezra, Havalah, and Seth.  And so we would for our 86 other children that languish in isolation, hidden, thrown away by society.

Having the German team here has made my mama heart swell.  Watching their tenderness with our babies, their tenacity in not settling for second best, and the way they have risen up and made this fight for dignity their own, well, it has shown me even more how valuable our boys are.  You see, during the past months as we were planning this trip for the German team we were a bit nervous (mostly I was…haha).  I kept wondering if the team members would think this cause was of value.  I wondered if they would really be able to help and if they would feel that coming to our Boys was a good use of their time.  In that worrying, I was devaluing our friends.  I was assuming that no one would love them like we do, that no foreigners with prestigious medical degrees and full patient loads at home would want to “feet on the ground” fight for them.  What was I thinking?????  The team immediately valued our Boys and have fought tooth and nail for them over the past couple of weeks. The team members have grown to love the boys immensely, and through their love I have been inspired to press on even further for our boys.

They deserve it.

We are their voices.  If we stay silent about their potential, their need, and their reality, then who will speak for them? So, I will ask and keep on asking.

Do you have room for one of our loves at your table? 

They have no future here.  We are fighting to give them one, but still, no future we can provide could adequately replace a family.

Yes, they are broken.  Yes, they have been traumatized.  Yes, they have medical needs.  Yes, they will require hard work and endless hours of sacrifice on the part of the adoptive family.  Yes, adoption is expensive- in every way.  Yes, they have experienced things no human being should ever have to experience and yes, they are scarred from those experiences.

BUT

Did you know that they are absolutely beautiful?  Did you know that Ben smiled for the first time in his life last week?  Did you know it was a moment of rejoicing and the whole room exploded with cheers?  Did you know Isaiah’s face lights up when a familiar voice calls his name? He’s really ticklish too 🙂 Did you know Micah has an amazing personality??  He has us all in stitches so much of the time.  Did you know Stephan laughs a deep-down belly laugh when you spin him around and around?  In those moments he is so handsome.  Did you know that Alex loves Jed?  Did you know he is so helpful and his face absolutely beams when he knows he has been a good helper?  Did you know Jonathan might just have the most beautiful smile in the whole institution?  He comes running over when he sees us and his smile melts my heart every time.  Did you know Aaron sat calmly on my lap the other day and took my arm to wrap it around himself?  Did you know he is happiest outside and loves the feel of the sun on his face?

These are our babies.  We went to the end of the world for them and we’ll keep right on going.  This week is the third week in a row that our team has been at the institution every single day.  Great gains have been made, yet with more time spent,  more ugliness has been exposed.  These boys are not just a sad or romantic idea.  They are precious creations of God and they should not have to live the way they live.  It is injustice heaped upon injustice.

Their very lives are being stolen from them, but we are not helpless to change that!  There are seven who are adoptable, who have a chance at a different life and we will not stop fighting until that chance is realized.

If you know you can not adopt, would you pray?  Would you donate to their adoption funds and help ease the financial burden for the families who step up for them?  Would you share their faces with all of your friends and family?  Would you be a voice for them?

But maybe you could adopt?  Why not you?  If you have never considered it would you please consider it now?  Our two littles, Ben and Isaiah, are truly living on borrowed time.  They simply can not wait forever.  Our Alex and Micah must have committed adoptive families by the end of this year or they will lose their chance forever.

I’m just gonna ask and keep on asking.  They’re our babies and we will not stop fighting for them. It’s my mama duty.

*Click on the names to donate to their adoption grant fund. 

*To find out more information about the Ukrainian adoption process please contact the awesome team at Hand of Help in Adoption.

*Please feel free to contact me for more information about the individual boys.  I would be happy to answer your questions!

Ben

Isaiah

Micah

Alex

Stephan

Jonathan

Aaron