Adoption – Page 6 – Wide Awake International

Category: Adoption

AdoptionFamilyFoster Care

End of an Era

Along this journey to Ukraine there are many things we have had to let go, or will have to let go. This month we are letting go of something very important, and along with that comes the end of an era. We are letting go of our foster care license. Of course, we know we can’t still be state-certified foster parents while living in Ukraine, and we haven’t been open to taking any kiddos since we made the decision to move our family to Ukraine, but…we still held on to our certification. We were still foster parents.

We ran into our certifier (our fabulous assigned “go-to” person at DHS) at the store a week or so ago. She mentioned that she has been following our story through our blog and is excited about what God is doing in and through our fam. Hi Judi! 🙂 She asked if she should just go ahead and close out our file, and we had to tell her yes. If we were to stay certified we would have to have DHS come out and check out Luke’s house, Luke would have to be fingerprinted and all that jazz. That would all be okay, except for a promise we made to ourselves when we first started fostering.

Back in 2006, when our foster parenting journey began, we promised ourselves if we took a child into our home we would keep them in our home, no matter what, unless someone else decided they should move. We wouldn’t give up on a child when the going got tough. That was tested a time or two, but with God’s help, we kept our word. If we were to take a child at this time I’m not sure we would be able to keep our word. When you receive a child from DHS you never know how long they will stay with you. Seth was supposed to be a “short placement”, and here he is, 2 1/2 years later, our son for life. 🙂 We plan to move in a year, so we just know we can’t take any more foster kiddos at this time.

Foster Baby #1- always extra special to us

So, I guess this is so long to an era. Our foster parenting era has been life-changing, to put it mildly. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, foster parenting is one of the best and definitely the most difficult thing we’ve ever done in our lives. (Yet!)

It shaped our family, it grew us as people, it taught us reliance on the Lord instead of our own strength (still learning that!), it built our faith, and it gave us a son.

Yes, there are problems with the foster care system. Yes, it is tiring. Yes, it is putting yourself out there, knowing your heart will be broken. Yes, it is infuriating. Yes, it is worth it.

Because if you can look past the broken system and see the broken lives that God has given us, the church, to care for, it’s a no-brainer.

The children are worth it. They are worth fighting for.
The parents are worth it. They are worth loving and believing in.

The system is broken and it fails people every day. That is a problem. But the bigger problem is that God has given the responsibility of caring for these lives to His Bride, the church, and we have passed them off to the state. People will fail. But God’s love never fails, and no matter who they are and what they’ve done or have failed to do- no one is beyond hope. No one is beyond His grasp. The state can’t fix these lives and these broken situations, but God can. He can mend, heal, lift up, restore- and He asks us to be His hands and feet.

We have come to the end of our fostering journey (for now!). As we exit stage left, I would just ask you to prayerfully consider your part in caring for the orphans in your town. How can you be His hands and feet to the broken lives around you?

Could you foster?
Could you give respite for a weary foster parent in the thick of it?
Could you bring a meal to a foster family?
Could you donate clothes or gently used children’s gear to your local Child Welfare office?
Could you pray?

Our torch is being set down, will you take it up?
Trust me, if we can do it, broken and human as we are, you can do it too!

Just be prepared to never be the same. 🙂

You can read more about our story of foster care here:

Foster Care Ponderings: Part 1, Our Story

Foster Care Ponderings: Part 2, Our Story

Foster Care Ponderings: Part 3, Biological Parents

kimnjed November 19, 2012 10

AdoptionFamilyThe KidsThe Move

What’s Next + The Kids

At the very beginning of this journey when we still thought this journey was about adopting “Jonah” a friend was praying for us and God spoke some words to her that have guided a lot of our process thus far. This was at the stage in the game when no one knew what we were considering. It was just between God, Jed, and me. We believe that God can speak through His people, and boy has this word struck the nail right on the head! She said “God’s calling you and Jed to something very difficult. Fear not, fear not, fear not. The path looks really narrow, but just keep walking. As you walk the path is going to widen and God will make a way. Just keep walking and fear not.”

Of course we thought those words applied to the adoption process and raising a child with special needs. We had no idea what those words really meant. Now we’re starting to get an idea. 🙂

Back at the beginning of September, we knew that we needed to trust God to provide free housing for us. We can’t pay off student loans in any decent amount of time if we’re still paying our mortgage. Why don’t we rent out our house and let someone else pay our mortgage? Then we can live somewhere for free and put money toward student loans so we are more free when we get to Ukraine! Great idea…except that finding free housing for a family of 6 sounded a little tricky. Yeah, we learned it’s not that tricky for God.

We asked the Lord to let us know where we were going to be living before our garage sale. I was starting to get a lot nervous as the garage sale quickly approached and we had nowhere to move. Yet we knew we were to keep walking and God would make a way. The night before our garage sale a friend came over to help Jed move the heavy items downstairs for the sale. I was gone at a home school meeting and when I got home and our friend left Jed turned to me and said “He just offered for us to live with him in his house for free.”

HOLD THE PHONE. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?????

God made a way! He did it! He kept His word. He did a miracle. He moved our friend’s heart and that generous friend is opening his home to 6 people. I don’t think our friend realizes what he just agreed to. Hehe. Holy bachelor pad invasion Batman!

We are just absolutely blown away by the goodness of God. We are blown away by His promise-keeping. We are blown away by His way-making. We are so very thankful.

In a couple of weeks, we’ll move out of this house and into our new digs. Then we’ll spend the rest of the month getting this house rent-ready. Please pray for a great renter for our house! Thanks!

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“So, how are the kids with all of this?”

The kids are awesome, as usual.

Taking Queen Havalah on a tour of the neighborhood

They are taking all of this in like champs. The kids know we are moving to Ukraine. Of course, they have no idea what that really means!

They know where Ukraine is on the map and they’ve seen many pictures. They join in on Skype with our friends in Ukraine, so they’ll meet some familiar faces when we finally arrive there. They know we are going to Ukraine to help the special kids who have no mommy and daddy. They know that those kids have bodies that work differently than theirs and look different than theirs. I think they understand as much as they can at this point, and they are excited.

What we’ve learned about our kids so far in this process is that however Jed and I present this to them, and however we process it is how they live it. We are taking this in like the big fat adventure that it is. So, the kids think of it like an adventure. We are excited, they are excited. We have some fears and uncertainties- so do they. We just pray that God will give the kiddos peace through this process. We pray they learn in a very tangible way what it means to walk in faith. We want them to live radically for God- then we better live it!

Thank you again and again for all your prayers and support.

God is opening doors and clearing paths!

We stand amazed.

kimnjed October 2, 2012 8

AdoptionFamilyFoster CareThe Kids

We Had No Idea

Two years ago today we had no idea what we were in for.

It was a Sunday, I headed to the hospital to pick up a newborn foster baby. I remember the day clearly. It’s strange because there are many foster babe pick-up days I don’t really remember, but I remember a lot of the details about this particular day. I think that’s a gift from the Lord. He knew I would want to look back at that day and remember the great things HE has done.

We had received a call from DHS on the Friday before that a baby boy had been born who needed a foster family. The mother was a meth addict and used every day during pregnancy. There had been no prenatal care and the baby was born addicted, so they were looking for a medical home. I remember calling Jed to ask him about taking the baby and us both not being so sure. We were technically “on a break” from fostering since we had just finished fostering a very sick, high-needs baby and were pretty exhausted. We were also planning to leave in just 5 days to meet Jed’s family in Idaho for his grandpa’s birthday and a family reunion. Drug-addicted newborn on a road trip anyone? All signs pointed towards us turning this baby down, but somehow we didn’t. I can’t recall how we came around to a “yes” decision; that clearly was the Lord’s gift to us as well. 🙂

Sunday came along and it was time to pick up the babe. He was born at our local hospital, and interestingly enough, he was the only foster babe we’ve received from our local hospital. We usually do our pick-ups in Portland. I headed over to the hospital while Jed stayed home with the napping kiddos. I got there a little early, called the charge nurse’s phone and she let me know the birth mom hadn’t left yet, so I needed to wait a few. I had a coffee, my heart was beating fast. I always get a little nervous and a lot excited before meeting a new baby. If only I had known the journey we were about to embark on! I think I would have been a lot more nervous, but a million times more excited!

After a bit the charge nurse called and said mom had left so I was free to come up and meet the baby. The sweet little bundle was in a bassinet behind the nurses’ station where he could be watched closely. The first thing I noticed was his color. YIKES!!!! The nurses all quickly reassured me “He’s bruised!” Good gracious his face was purple! Holy bruising batman! Still, it was clear to everyone in the room that he was a beauty. He had striking white-blond hair that looked even more blonde next to his purple face. I asked if his mother had named him. “His name is Seth.” I remember being relieved. I like the name Seth! It’s always fun to have a foster babe with a name you like. It’s like a special little bonus. 🙂 The nurse who discharged Seth to me was Mary, a dear family friend who was a key figure in 2 of our biological kiddos’ hospital stays. Mary was the nurse to check over Ezra right after he was born, and she was the nurse to discharge us from the hospital on Christmas day when Havalah was born. I should have guessed right then that with Mary present, God had something special in store for us. (Shout out to Mary Musick, RN extraordinaire!! You rock!) Seth was discharged to me, and home we went, kids eagerly awaiting his arrival.

Seth, on the day we met

I remember walking into our house and setting Seth’s car seat down, Jed looking at him, commenting on his color. 🙂 We had no idea I was introducing Jed to his son. What would have been different in that moment if we had known? It’s funny to think back…we just had no idea.

Seth was a difficult newborn. He was SUCH a poor feeder. Ugh. Meth babies are often poor feeders and Seth was the worst I’ve ever met. He would suck and suck on the bottle and less than an ounce would be gone. He simply had no coordination in his suck. He had the shakes so he needed to be swaddled all the time. He also reeked to high heavens. OH MY WORD. He smelled so bad!!! I can’t even describe it. It’s like he was detoxing through his pores. You know that lovely, fresh new baby smell? Seth didn’t have anything close to that. He smelled nasty. Poor little guy. Baths didn’t help. Lotion didn’t help. It just took time, and eventually, he smelled fresh. I’d never experienced that intense of a smell with a drug-affected baby before. Poor stinky Seffers. 🙂

We didn’t take Seth in with the intention of adopting him. In fact, when we took Seth everyone involved thought it would be a short placement because there was family involved who wanted him. Nothing materialized with the family members and it wasn’t long into our time with Seth that we realized something was different. Maybe it was because we didn’t have any visits with his bio-parents. They were both out of the picture from the get-go, by their choice, so that felt very different from any of our other foster experiences. We had no contact with any family at all, so from the very beginning we were Seth’s whole world. I remember when we first met one of his family members when Seth was about 5 months old. It was at a court hearing and at that point, we found out that the family member intended to adopt Seth. It was a real shocker to us, and I think that helped us to realize how much we loved our boy. The months that followed were full of ups and downs, triumphs and heartache. It was some of the hardest times of our lives. I wish I could go back in time and reassure my aching Mama Bear heart that everything would be okay, God had it all under control. I remember several times when people in authority said it was impossible for Seth to stay with us and our friends prayed their guts out. They prayed and they had faith when I didn’t. They held up our arms, they cried with us, they loved with us. It was the roller coaster of a lifetime. A roller coaster with the best ending ever.

Seth’s Adoption Day!

To all of our friends who stood so close beside us during that first year and a half, THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts for having faith when we had run out. THANK YOU for praying, listening to our drama, and loving us. THANK YOU for loving our Seth!!

Seth David

My Dear Sweet Baby Seth David,

Two years ago we met for the first time and I had no idea how my life was going to be changed forever. I had no idea how much I would love you. I had no idea how many mountains God would move to keep you in our family. I had no idea how proud I would be to be your Mommy.

I hope you always know how much you are loved and cherished. I could never have dreamed I would be blessed with such a treasure as you. I love how you take out your pacifier to give me a kiss before bed. I love how you hug Havalah when you see her crying. I love how much you love chickens and the trampoline, trains and cars. I love the “whoosh” sound you make when you find one of Ezra’s lightsabers. I love your beautiful blue eyes and your stick-straight blonde hair.

Your name means “Chosen” and if I had to do it over I would choose you every time.

Love, Mommy

kimnjed June 6, 2012 12

AdoptionFamilyFoster CareThe Kids

Introducing….Our Son!

Seth David

Last Wednesday, March 21st at 4:00 we went to court and Seth was legally declared our son. Words cannot describe all the feelings that come along with that. We have loved Seth since we first laid eyes on him. It wasn’t long before we knew we wanted to keep him forever. There were so many tears, so many ups and downs along the process. Many people- people with power, said it was impossible. Evidently God has a bit more power than they. 🙂

Seth at 2 days old, the first day we met

Seth, 2 months old

No longer is Seth’s heritage one of addiction, abuse, and neglect. No longer is he cast aside, unwanted. No longer is he a ward of the state. He is our son. He is loved and wanted more than he will ever realize. He now has full access to the God-fearing, Jesus-serving heritage that Jed and I have been blessed with. That all belongs to Seth now! We have no idea what effect his past abuses will have on him as he grows, but it doesn’t matter one stinkin’ bit. He is our son and we will always love him. We will always choose him.


Seth and Daddy, Christmas 2010


Seth and Mommy, March 2011

Christmas 2011

Spring 2012

The day they announced Seth was our son I felt different. I told Jed that I felt like I loved him more. Jed said, “You don’t love him more, you just love him without fear”. That is total truth. As much as I loved Seth before, I know there was a bit of me that I was holding back. I was afraid he would be taken away again, and I guess it was like a subconscious self-protection. I didn’t want to hold back, and I honestly didn’t think I was, but now I know different. I love him fully and completely now and it feels different. It feels AMAZING. He is my son and nothing will ever change that. Ever.

Thank you Jesus for the gift of our boy. He was plucked out, chosen, for a reason. I can’t wait to see what You have in store for him. 🙂

Our Family on Seth’s Adoption Day

kimnjed March 28, 2012 8

AdoptionFamilyFoster CareThe Kids

One Step Closer!

Yesterday we got some adoption news! We hadn’t heard any news in months. I was starting to imagine our paperwork was actually lost in the abyss of the state offices. We got word that we have an Adoption Coordinator assigned to our case now. I have no idea what an Adoption Coordinator does, but hey, it’s more news than I had last week…so I’ll take it! Supposedly once they process those forms everything moves really quickly. I really really hope so!

Here’s a sneak peek of the cuteness. He loves all things chicken. The Little Red Hen, the real hens in our backyard, toy chickens, and yes- chicken as food. 🙂

He decided his toys needed to take a swim…

We also have good news about our April trip! We were finally able to make contact with a couple that we most wanted to meet with in Ukraine. This is the couple whose work initially drew us to want to save up all our pennies to fly across the world. From what I know about them it seems they are doing exactly the type of work that we are passionate about. Even if we couldn’t make contact with them we were still making plans to go and meet with others, and we were happy about that, but the blessing of being able to meet with these specific people just about triples our excitement about this trip. WAHOOOOOOO!!

I’m slowly and steadily making a bit of progress on language learning. OH MY WORD. Why can’t they speak Spanish where we’re going???? My brain feels a bit foggy with doing Spanish studies with the kids in the morning for their class, and then doing my language study in the afternoon…I just know when we get there I’m going to be thinking in Spanish…or Albanian. Ha! My in-laws live in Kosova, so they speak Albanian there. It’s not like I’m fabulous at Albanian (not even semi-fab), but you know how international travel goes, your brain reverts to the last non-English language you learned. But, it’s not like we have a translator meeting us at the airport, so I better get my rear in gear!! I’ve been pretty faithful in my studies since the new year started, so Lord, please bless my efforts…HELP!!!!

On a less scary note, here’s some cuteness to sum up January.

Ez and Mommy had a date night

Our most awesome bunny was accidentally locked outside for the night. Oh the drama!!

We found him the next day, alive and well. Now that was a miracle!

Mommy put the kids to work.

Ezra took this picture of Havalah. She’s going to love this one when she’s older!!

kimnjed January 26, 2012 0

AdoptionYes

The One that Started it All

I am so happy today. It’s a bittersweet happiness, but less bitter and more sweet.

Last year at this time we had no idea about the orphan crisis in Eastern Europe. We had no idea sweet precious children made perfect in the sight of God were alone in cribs forgotten by the world.

Then “by chance” I ran across an adoption blog that mentioned Reeces Rainbow and my eyes were opened. I thought about those sweet faces all the time. One face stood out among the rest. No matter how many others I looked at, there was something special about this one. So we prayed. We prayed and prayed and God spoke. He told us to go for it- this was our boy. We were so excited! We had prayed for this little one for months. His picture was up on our wall, he was the child of our hearts.

Well, most of you know it wasn’t long until we found out he was being adopted by another family. You can’t pre-select a child from that country, so another Reeces Rainbow family that was already there to meet their daughter met him and fell in love. God totally paved the way for them to add him to their adoption. Oh boy, the emotions that followed! We grieved and we rejoiced. We wept and we smiled. It was totally confusing and horrible and wonderful at the same time.

Shortly after that time, God started leading us in another direction. I know I’ve said it before, but I believe God led us to our boy to turn our hearts in the right direction. He used our sweet one to open our hearts once again to the plight of the orphans. He knew it would take us fully investing our hearts and saying “yes” to get us to the point where He could then show us the next turn in our path.

Not long after that all happened the situation in our boy’s country changed. He was safely at home with his forever family when the office of government that handles all the adoptions in his country closed down to switch to another system. People who are in the middle of their adoption process are right now just waiting for things to open back up so they can go rescue their babies. If we would have proceeded with adopting our boy, if he had not been rescued by the family God had chosen for him he would be sitting and waiting for us. Worse than that, he would most likely have been transferred to an institution and possibly lost forever. Does our God know what He’s doing or what!!!? This just blows my mind how perfect His plans are. His ways truly are higher than our ways.

Now we are embarking on our grand adventure and he is safe at home with a loving and wonderful family that God destined for him. I am amazed.

I see “my” sweet boy’s face and I know God has an amazing plan for his life. I cried when I saw pictures of him this morning, but I can honestly say my tears are tears of thankfulness. Thankfulness to our God who holds everything in His hands. Praise God!

You can see pictures and a beautiful post about “our” boy here. I will always love him. 🙂

Seriously, God amazes me.

kimnjed November 15, 2011 1

AdoptionFoster Care

I Love November

November is National Adoption Month and Orphan Awareness Month. Jed and I have been hard at work preparing a presentation for our church. I am so stinkin’ excited to share with our body what we are most passionate about. For our presentation we’ve been filming people from our church who have either been adopted, adopted a child themselves, fostered children, or somehow are actively doing orphan care. It has been awesome.

I think sometimes when we passionate-about-orphans people get to really thinking about all the fatherless out there, all the babies without mamas, all the boys without daddies, it can get extremely overwhelming. God, why aren’t people doing more? Don’t they even care? I sometimes feel alone in my passion. I think about the fatherless every single day. I pray for the orphaned ones every single day. I look into the face of my baby and wonder what his life would have been like had he been born in a different country. Would he have been abandoned? Would he be languishing in an orphanage with no one to hold him when he cries? Most likely. It’s too much.

Then I lift my head up and I look around. I start thinking of ones I know who I can get on film from our church. I think of name after name of those who have answered the cry.

Phil and Kathy- fostered over 30 teenage girls and adopted their daughter through foster care.
Tim and Rosa- running an orphanage in Asia for disabled children.
Debbi- adopted as a child and so thankful to share how she was rescued by her parents.
Sam and Angie- some of our very best friends who are in Bulgaria RIGHT NOW! visiting with their children they are adopting.

Yes, the need is great.
Yes, many ignore the need.
Yes, the church needs to rise up.

But,
Many are answering the cries.
Many are not ignoring the need.
Many are rising up.

I know God is on the move and He WILL NOT forget His children.
And I am encouraged.

I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. John 14:18

kimnjed November 3, 2011 1

AdoptionFoster Care

One Step Closer

Today I had my physical for our foster care adoption of Baby S. That was the last bit that we had to do and now his file can go to Central Office for processing! Woohoo!

My baby is growing and changing every day. He was born addicted to drugs, but today he is a smiling, crawling, pointing, babbling, one year old who lights up our lives. I don’t know if we will foster again, but I do know that he was our greatest reward for fostering. We have had a lot of hard times in our last four years involved in foster care. It has been one of the hardest and best things we have ever done. Baby S is our prize 🙂 We are blessed beyond words.

On an “international note”, we had some doubts this past month, but have decided to continue with our international adoption homestudy. We took some time to pray, wait on God, grieve, and listen. God has not told us to stop, so we will continue to move. The country we feel He is calling us to is closing adoptions for the next three months, so in the meantime we’ll do whatever we can do on our end to get ready for their re-open. Bring on the paperwork! It has been such a huge blessing to see the little one we originally committed to meeting his mommy and daddy for the first time. I won’t lie, at first it made me cry. I had so hoped to be his mommy and to have that meeting. I dreamed of it. But, helloooooo???? This is so not about me!!! Ha! God is amazing. He knew this precious one needed out of his country before the adoption closure. As always, His ways are so much higher than our ways. I’m thankful for that.

kimnjed June 28, 2011 0

AdoptionFoster CareOrphan Care

Beginnings

Beginning…beginning of what? That’s a good question. The beginning of this blog, yes, but I had hoped today I would be starting this blog out with talking about the beginning of our adoption journey to kiddo #5. Although things won’t look how I thought they would, I guess technically this is still about the beginning of our adoption journey. Nice rambling start eh? 🙂

I’ll back up. Who are we?
I’m Kim: wife, Mommy, foster mom, home-school teacher, friend, pediatric nurse, coffee snob, lover of all things missions/orphans/helpless/least of these. I’m passionate about the plight of the orphan, both here, and abroad. My husband tells me my passion is “to mother the world”. He may not be that far off!
Then there’s Jed: husband, Daddy, foster dad, friend, social worker, guitar-playin worshippin’ Jesus Freak. He is my best friend and an amazing person. He is selfless and totally committed to pursuing God’s plans and purposes.
Adelina: our oldest daughter, our amazing firstborn. She loves to read and read and read. She is mildly obsessed with Ancient Egypt. Ha! Addie is kind, loves and lives life to the fullest with a perpetual smile on her face.
Ezra: our first son, our “helper”. Ezra loves to color, cuddle mommy, and jump on the trampoline. He adores his older sister (though he would never admit that to anyone). He is loving and tender, always the one to rush to kiss the babies.
Havalah: our joy. The name Havalah means “life”, and she is perfectly suited for her name. Havalah is a bubbly ball of sweetness that you just can’t help but squeeze. She knows what she wants and will let you know it! She is our Polly Pocket and Strawberry Shortcake girl.
Baby “S”: our unexpected miracle. S is our foster baby boy that we have had since his birth. We didn’t expect to keep him when we took him in, but now we can’t imagine our lives without him. He will be one year old on Saturday and what a celebration that will be! I’ll share another time the miracle that is our baby. We are in the process of adopting him through our state. He is happy, beautiful, and absolutely adored.

We created this blog because we recently committed to a little boy through Reeces Rainbow. They suggest you start a blog for your adoption journey. I actually found out about Reeces Rainbow through another blog. I read on that blog about the plight of special needs orphans and was compelled to act. After much prayer we knew God was calling us to pursue a certain boy. I dreamed about him, prayed for him, God spoke, words were given, Scriptures were given, money was given! It was very very clear to us that God was saying “Move!” So we moved. We sent in our committment papers and then today we found out that another family who was in country already had decided to adopt our boy. It was a rare occurence and everyone involved was surprised at the turn of events. We were shocked! What do you do when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what God told you to do, but then things change so radically? What do we make of it? It’s confusing and heartbreaking. When we committed to that boy I felt the feelings you feel when you find out your pregnant, and now I’m not sure what to feel since my “baby” is no longer mine. I know legally he never was mine, but in my heart he was. 🙂

So, now we wait on the Lord. He told us to move, so we will continue to move forward. We will continue our home study paperwork and see where He leads. I decided to start the blog anyhow, because even though the course of our journey has changed, I know it has not ended. It is still the story of our adoptions of #4 and #5. Your guess is as good as mine on how things will turn out! God knows though, may His kingdom come and His will be done. So be it!

kimnjed June 3, 2011 4