Oh Romaniv…oh sweet boys.   I wish so much that each of you could visit Our Boys and spend even just a few minutes with them.  I wish I could accurately and fully express just how we feel about them.  They are beyond precious to us.  I remember the very first time Jed and I ever visited there…nervous, excited…never the same.  Never would I have dreamed at that time that we would now be so invested in to these boys.  We are learning about their little quirks, their likes and dislikes, who can eat a banana on his own and who needs help; who will try to eat rocks and grass outside and who will try to escape; who will throw their shoes on the roof of the building and who’s feet are too twisted and misshapen for shoes at all; who needs to be held tightly when overstimulated and who likes to sway…the list goes on and on.  There is so much to learn and we have the time to learn it.  These are the things that matter.  To know and to be known, I’ve never understood the importance of that until this move.

Our Isolation boys stay inside all day every day.  There are simply not enough caregivers to take them all outside.  All day every day in the same small building with the same hall and same rooms.  No wind in their face, no sun on their skin, no grass between their toes.  They eat in their building and sleep in their building.  It is their whole world.

A few weeks ago we decided to ask the caregivers if we could take the boys outside during our Friday visits.  We weren’t sure if they would allow it, but it never hurts to ask!  Surprisingly they said yes without hesitation.  The only problem was digging up enough shoes and coats for all the boys.  Oy.  Yeah, they were only able to find enough shoes and jackets for 8 of the 21 boys.  We were disappointed that some boys would be excluded, but we still took several of them outside.

Later that day I posted about the visit on the Wide Awake Facebook page.  I mentioned that there weren’t enough coats and shoes to go around and that people could let us know if they wanted to help with that.  Oh.My.Word.  You guys!!!!  Your generosity blew us away.  Within the next couple of days, $725 was donated to buy shoes and coats for the Boys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

We went to Mission to Ukraine (MTU) to discuss how and where to purchase the needed items for the Boys.  They, in turn, contacted the Director at Romaniv and he indicated that they should have enough coats and shoes for all the boys…they just needed to be taken from storage.  So, we are a bit halted right now on buying the items as we try to verify if there are truly enough clothes for everyone and if not, what sizes are needed.  We already know the shoe supply is not adequate.  We’ve got some foot measuring to do.

(Hint: nothing happens quickly in these here parts.  No biggie, we’ve got time.)

In the meantime, we’ve been able to take the boys out every Friday since!  The caregivers have found enough slippers for those who are willing to go outside.  Most of them are broken slippers and don’t stay on worth beans, but at least it’s enough to get them out the door 😉 It’s been warm enough that we haven’t needed jackets, so we have time to work on that issue.

One need that did arise is the need for hats.  Our Boys never see the sun, so you can bet they are as pale as can be,  We realized right away that they needed hats to provide some sun protection while we’re outside.  So, we were able to use a portion of the donated funds to buy hats for the boys!

A few of our more interactive boys were SO EXCITED!!!  It made us feel so much better to know their little white faces were protected.  The last thing we need is a sunburn to rain on our parade.  🙂

Thank you to each and every person who donated so graciously.  Each step forward greatly improves their quality of life and we just can’t thank you enough for making it possible.

We’ll keep you posted on the shoe and jacket purchases.  We really need to get some shoes that fasten well so “you know who” can’t chuck them up on the roof of the building quite so easily….ahem….not to name any names…  🙂

…ahem…

What? You want me to actually keep this on my head???

Wishful thinking!

Maxim stole my camera and took this one 🙂

Annnnd here’s me begging Maxim to return the camera…haha

If you are interested in donating specifically for the boys at Romaniv, here is a link to their fund.

In ten days we’ll have been in Ukraine for six months.  Crazy.  On one hand it feels like “Where did the time go?”, but mostly it feels like a whole lot longer than that.  I don’t say that in a negative way, just in an honest way.  Every thing has changed.  Everything.  In Ezra’s words, “Everything about Ukraine is different…except McDonalds.”  It feels like a very long time since we and our 12 suitcases (TWELVE!!!) crossed the ocean. It feels like much more than 6 months ago.

In many ways, I feel great right now.  I feel like we’re in our groove with MTU.  We are loved there and we love many people there.  We have a bit of a schedule there and are able to be a very practical help to them.  Of course, the work at Romaniv is AWESOME and we are loving that.  We are pretty good at shopping now, we know the bus routes, and we were able to actually communicate with our landlady last week without calling any English speakers for help.  In some ways, we have really grown and feel at home here.

In other ways, we struggle.  I won’t speak for Jed about his struggles, but I thought I would share a bit of my own.  I think I have a tendency to always write about the good and neglect sharing about the bad or the difficult.  I don’t want to be a complainer, and sharing your struggles is really putting yourself out there.  Not many people enjoy doing that…but I feel like I need to do it.  It’s not a fair picture to only paint the good.  This is real life, and I’m determined to be a real person.  So, here ya go.

The past few weeks were hard for me, probably the hardest yet.  Things are getting better now, but it was a bit rough, internally.  Let’s just say I’m having a harder time letting go than I had anticipated.  My Mommy heart has been struggling in big ways.

Of course, when we were preparing to move here I anticipated that I would experience loneliness and isolation.  I knew I would miss my family and friends, my church, and the familiarity of everyday life.  I do miss all those things, but I can deal.  I know that I know I’m exactly where God wants me to be.  I am learning that He is enough, and He continues to give me the strength to say yes.

I guess what I didn’t anticipate was how difficult this road would be as a mother.  Really, how could I anticipate it?  I had no one to talk to who had followed this path before, and anyone with a bit of a similar situation experienced their story in a different culture than this.  I still have no one to talk to who has walked this road before in Ukraine.  But, I’m learning to be okay with that.

The thing is, I’ve been subconsciously trying to recreate my childhood, a middle-class American childhood, in Ukraine.  Ummmmm yeah….not gonna work.   I KNOW THAT.  I know we don’t live in suburban America.  I know that EVERYTHING is different (I said that already).  But knowing that, and living that are two different things.

I’m just now learning how much of my mothering expectations and family expectations are based on American culture.  It’s all I know!  Of course, I expect what I know.  I don’t know anything different.  I don’t know how to mother my children in this place.  Jed and I chose to come here.  Our children didn’t get a choice.  I don’t know what to do when they’re on the playground and they are surrounded by children they can’t speak to.  Do I push them to go try to make friends or do I let them just be their own little island, playing only with each other?  I don’t know what to do when my Hava comes up to me crying at a picnic full of kids because she has no friends and no one will play with her.  I don’t know how to continue to build their English reading and writing skills when they are in Ukrainian school.  Ezra was just really learning how to read and write in English, and now his day is spent reading and writing a language he doesn’t understand.  What do I do with that?  I’m not sure any of my favorite homeschool books cover that scenario.

Everyone says,

“The kids will be fine!”

“Kids don’t need language to play!  Just put them out on the playground and they’ll make friends in no time!”

“Kids learn language so fast.  Before you know it your kids will be translating for you!”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard those words…

Let me tell you, it’s not as easy as all that.  It just plain isn’t.  Maybe in some cultures, kids don’t need language to make new friends, but in this culture they do.  This isn’t the most open culture.  Kids are shy.  Kids are more closed.  We are the oddity in our town.  We are like a walking zoo.  Ha!  There is no one like us that I know of in our town, and it shows.  Our kids are understanding more all the time, but they can barely speak to other children.  I know, I know, it’s only been 6 months, but I can vouch that 6 months feels like an eternity when your kids’ hearts are involved.  It’s just plain hard, and for the past few weeks, I’ve felt tired and discouraged.

I want my kids to be able to talk to other kids, just chat and goof around.  I want other kids to know them.  They are great little people, but no one knows that because they can’t speak.  I want them to have friends and to be able to respond when approached by other children.

I want those things, but then I wonder, how many of my expectations are based on modern American culture, and how many are really essential for their health and happiness?

The kids are happy.  Sure they are awkward in social situations, but otherwise they are happy.  They have each other and they love each other deeply.  They are happy to run and play together, regardless of what other kids around them are doing.  They are like a little tribe, oblivious to anyone else.  So I find that I’m putting expectations on their childhood that they don’t even have for themselves!  They don’t know what my childhood was, so they don’t have that expectation of their own.  They don’t see other kids’ lives on Facebook and compare them with their own.  What they are experiencing now is their own childhood, and it is shaping them just as my childhood shaped me.

For instance, right now we’re reading through the Little House on the Prairie books as a family.  In Little House in the Big Woods, I was struck by how infrequently Mary and Laura had contact with other children.  They were mostly just home with Ma and Pa, yet according to the books they were as content as can be!  They weren’t pining away for sleepovers and play dates…the Big Woods was what they knew and it was enough.  When they drove into town for the first time Laura described how they saw children playing outside the houses.  Never was it mentioned how she wished she was one of those children with tons of neighbors all around.  They had the security of their family.  They knew they were loved.  They had each other and they were content.

My children don’t pine away for sleepovers and play dates and homeschool co-op, but I find myself pining away on their behalf.  I guess it’s because I know that’s what their American friends are doing and I feel they are missing out on what “should be”.  In my mind, those things are what make a childhood.  BUT, there are plenty of varieties of “happy childhood”.  Of course, they miss their friends, and if given the option they would love to be a part of that life again, but they rarely talk about it.  Their life is here.  They have each other.  They have our love.  Their life is rich here and most of the time they seem content.  But then there is the occasional Skype or Facetime with a friend back in the US and things begin to unravel.  I want them to be able to keep those friendships, but it is hard on their little hearts.  Sigh….I think that’s another topic altogether.

Those are the thoughts and ramblings that have been tearing at my heart.  My heart knows that my children were called here.  My heart knows that they need to live here and this needs to be their life experience in order for God to make them fully who He intends for them to be.  But knowing all of that doesn’t make this easy.  It’s hard to watch your children struggle.  It’s hard when everyone blows it off and makes it sound like all of this adjustment will come easily to them.  Maybe in the long run we’ll look back and see that the struggle was brief and it did, in fact, come easily, but in the meantime, it doesn’t feel easy at all.  Just because a pregnant woman had a quick labor doesn’t mean the labor didn’t hurt.

So, I continue to work at letting go.  I give my kids over to God and trust that He knows what is best for them.  I trust that He will give us wisdom when no parenting or mothering book seems to apply (because none of them seem at all relevant right now).  I trust that this will get easier and slowly they will find their place in this culture.

Most of all I am working at letting go of my priorities and desperately seeking God’s priorities.  Who cares about sleepovers and play dates if their little hearts are far from the Lord?  This world is not all that there is.  We were made for eternity!  This life is a blink of an eye compared to what we were really created for.  Our main job as parents is not to find our kids more friends on the playground or ensure they are happy and accepted at school.  Our main job is to point them to Jesus.  I want my kids to see that He is all that matters and that living abandoned to him is worth it.  It.is.worth.it.  On the hard days when we are lonely and feel like we don’t fit anywhere- He is worth it.   I want to end my race having absolutely spent myself- holding nothing back.  I want that for my children.

The American dream is not what I was created for.  I was created for Him.  Our children were created for Him.  He is the priority.  May I never forget it.  May I let go of myself and my wants and cling to Him.  May our children live lives of YES.  Isn’t that what truly matters?  I’ve learned from experience that saying YES to Him brings the greatest happiness EVER.  That is the variety of happy childhood I want for my babies.  I just need a reminder of that every day or so.  🙂

Today was so full!  Full of funny moments, full of awholelotta walking, and full of joy.

Here’s just a few moments of note.

1.  Addy and Ezra’s class went on a trip to the local puppet theater today.  We found out just yesterday that kids who wanted to, could go today.  I wondered why we always find these things out at the very last moment.  Then…aha!  I discovered an announcement board outside their classroom!  Yes, I know, it’s been there all along…but when all you see everyday is walls filled with things you don’t understand, it’s hard to know what to pay attention to and really try to decipher, and what isn’t worth your time.  I don’t often have the desire to stand in the school halls with Google Translate at my side, so I usually go with the “if it’s really important they’ll tell me” route.  No more!  I will now be vigilantly watching for new notes on the announcement board.  No more surprise field trips for the Johnson fam!  We will now be well-informed members of society.  (Here’s to hoping at least)

The wonders you can find on this “Announcement Board”! Look, a spelling word list! Hmmmm I wonder how many of these we’ve missed. Oops.

2.  When I dropped the kids at school this morning their teacher asked me if I wanted to come along on the field trip.  Sure, why not?  She mentioned it was quite a long walk, but if I thought the Littles would be up for it they could come too.  Well, Jed was in Kyiv today, so if I wanted to be there then the Littles would have to buck up and hike along with us.

I gave Hava and Seth a pep talk about being strong, not crying and whining when we go on the long walk….blah blah blah…”If we whine and cry then Teacher probably won’t invite us on another trip, right?”

I’m happy to report that they did great on the walk.  🙂  It was about a mile walk from the school to the theater.  It was HILARIOUS to be a fly on the wall with Addy’s and Ez’s class.  It’s also funny to learn all the in’s and out’s of school here.  Like, for field trips, there are no permission slips, no planning which parents will drive, and no parents at all!  Their brave teacher just confidently lined up boys in one line and girls in another and headed out on the walk with all of her students.  Along busy streets, and across crosswalks, she walked in the front, trusting the kids would follow.  When school classes cross streets they hold up a red flag so cars will stop.  One kid in the front of the line holds a flag, a kid at the back of the line holds a flag, and the teacher holds a flag.  When crossing a street she just walks on out there, risking life and limb 😉 and stands in the middle of the street for her class to cross. They do this every day when they walk from one building to another for lunch.  Today I got to see it in action.  I tell ya, that teacher is one brave woman.  One woman, taking a whole class on a mile walk through town to a field trip and back.  She totally rocks it.  I wasn’t a ton of help since I had Havalah and Seth, but I tried to keep the stragglers from straggling too far behind.

3.  I’m a “smeller”.  Smell means a lot to me.  How things smell really matters, I can’t overlook a bad smell with much grace at all.  It’s a struggle.  But, being a “smeller” can also bring a lot of joy!  Good smells make me so happy!  Anyway, I do have a purpose for telling you that.  While walking back to the school today I had such a strange moment.  I smelled a very beloved smell.  I smelled “Mission Trip” smell.

All throughout my teen years I went on mission trips.  I traveled all over the world during high school and college.  God put the world in my heart and I just had to go.  There’s a certain smell I remember from mission trips that I’ve never smelled in the US.  It’s a smell you smell when you’re walking on a city street.  I don’t know what all it entails, but it’s a mixture of gasoline, tires, foreign food cooking…and I don’t know what else.  I love that smell.  To me, that smell means Jesus.  It means being Jesus to the people He’s called you to.  It means going out of your comfort zone and giving your all for His sake.  It means loving people that you don’t understand and doing things you don’t understand, simply because Jesus said to, and it is what you were created for.

Today I smelled that smell.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I looked around and saw my children walking ahead of me in a line with their class.  I heard the buzzing of Ukrainian/Russian swirling around my ears.  For a moment I thought “Oh my word.  This is really happening.  This is my life.  I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS.”  I was overcome with thankfulness, and completely humbled.  All my life I dreamed of this and now it’s happening. May I never, ever forget what a joy it is to serve Christ in this way.  The last couple of weeks have been hard for me, personally.  My heart needed that smell to remember its purpose.  🙂

4.  Jed got to spend the day in Kyiv with some boys from Romaniv!  MTU took some of the highest functioning boys to see a dolphin show.  Jed got to go along and he had a great time.  I’ll let him tell you about that at another time.  I just have to share a sweet moment that happened on their way home.

Jed texted me as I was cooking dinner and let me know the boys’ bus was stopping at MTU on the way back to Romaniv so the boys could use the bathroom and volunteers could go home.  He asked if I wanted to come say hi.  YES YES YES!!!!!  I hurried the kids to put on their shoes, paused the dinner-making, and flew out the door.

On their way to the Dolphins!

Oh.My.Word.  Dream come true.  Watching my own kiddos meet some of “Our Boys” was so, so sweet.  The Boys were so curious and kind.  They attempted the kids’ names and shook all their hands.  Valera, our “helper”  (highest functioning boy) in the Isolation Room was there and I was so happy for the kids to meet him!!!  We talk about him all the time.  I feel like “The Boys” have been like some big mystery to our kids.  Now they have faces for some of the names.  Now they see they are real people.  Ezra and Havalah were pretty shy. Seth was curious.  Addy was smitten.  Her eyes were glowing.  It was like a celebrity sighting! As soon as we walked out of the building to head home she said “Mom!  When do I get to start helping at Romaniv???” Soon I hope.  🙂

McDonalds in Kyiv, complete with balloons!

So, that was today.  There were other small funny moments too, like when I walked into gymnastics to pick up Addy and one mom that I see all the time finally blurted out “Why did you come to Zhytomyr??”  Hahaha!  Like it’s been bugging her all this time and she finally just had to ask.  Hilarious.  Or when the kids were getting ready for bed and Hava and Seth tricked me.  They acted like they had their jammies on, but then on the count of 3 pulled back their covers to nakey little bodies.  Oh they laughed so hard!  Meanwhile Addy died laughing as Ezra screamed over and over at the top of his lungs, “Слава Україні!  Слава Україні!”  (“Glory to Ukraine!  Glory to Ukraine!”)

Is this life for real?

Spring has sprung!

We’ve had some sun, along with some spring showers.  Overall, I have to say it rains so much less here than in Salem.  Before we moved we heard Zhytomyr was super rainy city.  Ummmm no.  No, it’s not.  I can’t remember where we heard that, but the source needs to spend a winter in Salem to truly understand “super rainy”.  I love you Salem, but I don’t love your rain.

The spring showers are much more “interesting” when you live without a car!  Addy and I got D-R-E-N-C-H-E-D yesterday afternoon on the way home from gymnastics.  Hilariously wet.  I do have to say, that was a magical moment that I won’t forget.  Addy and I, laughing our heads off as we ran down the street in the pouring rain…

Today was the first day the Littles and I walked to get the Big Kids from school without any jackets on at all.  Woohoo!  Had we been in Oregon we would have done without jackets several times before this, but, believe it or not, we do our very best to try not to stick out like sore thumbs around here.  In order to blend in (at least a bit…and that only works if we aren’t speaking) it’s in our best interest to wear a jacket at all times.  But, today I just couldn’t do it!  I needed to feel the sunshine on my skin.  The Littles begged to go without jackets and I caved.  Of course, the first words out of Addy and Ezra’s teacher were “You’re not cold?”  Ha!  If she only knew my hot-blooded genetics she would never ask again.  🙂

I usually feel like my blog posts have to have a “theme”.  I think that’s due to the fact that I’m a bit of a control freak and I like things wrapped up nicely into little packages of order.  Well, I’m learning that often times my need for having a “theme” or certain topic to write about keeps me from just talking about normal life.  Annnd people tell me they want to hear more about normal life, so I’m going to try my best to break the habit of needing a theme.  (See, like this post!  It’s so random…not theme-like at all…look at me!)

We went to Kyiv for Easter so we could be with our Vineyard friends.  It was a great weekend with people we love, but hard too.  We really missed our family and church family.  It was a fun time, it just didn’t feel at all like Easter.  I think next year when I have my head on a little straighter, I’ll try to incorporate more of our US Easter traditions into our Easter here.  I think we would all really benefit from it- not just the kids.  I think Jed and I are both still kind of processing all our feelings from this weekend.  I’m trying to learn to grieve properly, and not just push feelings aside.  I’m learning that grief isn’t a bad thing- or a “lack of faith” thing.  Grief is a real thing that needs to be worked through properly.  Sigh…more on that at a later date.

Tomorrow Jed gets to go to Kyiv with a bunch of other volunteers and MTU staff.  They’re taking some of the older boys from Romaniv to see dolphins!  FIELD TRIP!!!  I can’t even imagine how much fun that will be.  I don’t know if it’s like an aquarium-type deal or a dolphin show…we just know it’s “dolphins”.  These are not boys from our Isolation Room, but some of the higher-functioning boys.  Each boy gets a volunteer buddy while they are out and about.  Seriously?  I can’t stand it.  That is going to be amazing.  I’m kinda, sorta, a lot jealous.  😉

Welp, I guess that just about does it.  I had a super deep, share-my -heart-post planned for today, but I decided not to go there.  I’m a little tired and I was afraid that would cause some emotional “spewage”.  Hehe.  I still want to share, but I think I’ll wait for another day.

I hope you all had a fantastic Easter weekend!

Okay, so a day late, but better late than never, right?

If you follow Wide Awake on Facebook, you probably saw that I promised to share about the very special night we had on Tuesday.  I have to say that “special” is an understatement.  I put off writing about it because I was still so giddy about its wonderfulness, that to sit down and try to write about it just seemed tedious (plus we’ve been busy little bees around here).  I just wanted to smile about it.  But, I want you all to be able to smile about it too, so it’s time I share!

Mission to Ukraine (MTU), the organization we serve here in Zhytomyr, has several branches of work they focus on.  One of these branches is the education of children with disabilities.  There are preschool classes, school-readiness classes, and life-skills classes that are coupled with Bible lessons.  There’s also beading, drawing, and other crafty classes for the crafty type (NOT ME).  🙂

There is one particular group of people that has really been weighty on the hearts of the staff of MTU lately.  That group is the young adults with disabilities who have been a part of MTU for many, many years.  These guys and gals have grown up with MTU, and for many of them, it is the social center of their lives.  It is the place, besides home, where they are accepted and loved just as they are.  They are treasured at MTU.  They are known.  MTU has been their school, their youth group, and their family.  And now they are getting older.  MTU’s focus is children.  What to do?  Many of them attend a class on Tuesdays called “Youth Group”.  They study the Bible together and build their relationships.  The staff want to do more for this group, but they are already stretched thin with responsibilities.  There is simply no time left in the day, or staff left in the day to provide them with more time to be together.

Enter, Game Night!  Woot!

Some of the staff approached us and asked Jed and me if we would be interested in hosting some sort of monthly, special night for this group to have fun together.  This was a duh question.  Of course, we wanted to help!

Tuesday night was the first Game Night and it was beyond fabulous.  I kid you not.  I haven’t smiled that much since I was last in Disneyland!  Heehee 🙂

At 5:00pm sharp the guests began to arrive.  They were dressed up and lookin’ good, ready for a party.  Seeing their excitement made us even more excited!

I wish I would have taken a picture of the food table.  Jed and I are feeders.  We feed people.  It’s our love language.  Sooooo if the amount of food we brought to the party was an indicator of our love, it was fairly obvious that we love these guys VERY much.  There were cookies, more cookies, magic cake, crackers, meat, cheese, veggies, some more cookies, candy, bread, tea, and juice. We may have gone overboard, just a wee bit.  Several of MTU’s finest volunteers came to help and join in the fun.  We had the group sit, then the volunteers and we served them food.  That was a great time for our kids to help out too.  They were able to interact with people right away, and also feel useful.  Addy and Ezra in particular, really wanted to help throw the party.

We ate and laughed.

It was gooood.

Then it was game time!  There were all different physical ability levels in the fairly small room, so it was important to choose games that everyone could participate in.  We started out asking some fun “Would you rather?” questions.  We just wanted to break the ice, be silly, and laugh together.  We chose some crazy questions and then asked various people to explain their decision.  It was so funny!

“Would you rather wrestle a lion or fight a shark?”

“Would you rather eat a bar of soap or drink a bottle of dish soap?”

“Would you rather be born with an elephant’s trunk or a giraffe’s neck?”

“Would you rather be a GIANT hamster or a tiny rhino?”

Oh man, our poor friend Natasha who was translating!  We gave her translating skills a major workout.  Good thing she’s pretty much amazing.  🙂

After “Would you rather?” we played a game with yarn.  Jed asked the group different questions and whoever answered “yes”, had to grab a hold of the yarn.  Pretty quickly we had a big web of yarn which nearly entrapped Jed!  Luckily, he barely escaped with his life and all was well.  Jed just shared a bit about how we are all different, but united by common loves and ideas.  It was fun, and a good visual of the beauty of friendship.

Next was free play game time.  We gathered small groups around tables and brought out various games.  We played Dominoes, Jenga, and Memory.   Once again, I have to brag about the most amazing volunteers.  Seriously, they rock.  They knew what needed to be done and just did it!  Many of them have volunteered quite a bit, so they are familiar with the group and know their needs.  They helped people eat, served tea and food, moved chairs and tables, translated, and assisted in the games so that everyone was able to participate and have a good time.  The night would have been impossible without their help.

Natasha translated for our family and she is just the best.  She loves this group and has known them for many years, so not only is she a great help, her heart is deeply invested as well.  Oh, and what about Alyona?!!!  Alyona works at MTU on “special projects”.  Alyona did so much to make the night possible.  She gathered volunteers, called the group to remind them about the date, arranged transportation for those in wheelchairs, and helped set up and clean up…basically, she’s superwoman.  I didn’t get one non-blurry picture of Alyona because she’s such a hard worker she’s just a blur in each picture!  I wish so badly I would have gotten a picture of each volunteer.  Grrrrrr…next time.  Thank you, dear friends!!!  We appreciate you!

Note the Alyona blur in the background. 😉

I didn’t get the best pictures because I was too busy partying it up, but I hope these pictures have given you a glimpse of the wonderfulness of the evening.

What an honor to be able to serve these dear ones.

What a joy to watch our own children learn to love and serve others.  What a joy to see them learn the value of each and every life.

What a delight to see the faces of the parents as they came to collect their children at the end of the night.  When someone loves your kid there is no greater gift.  How much more for these most courageous parents who have fought against all odds to give their kids the best shot at a fully lived life.  Humbling.

I am so incredibly thankful for the years of MTU’s faithful service.  With God’s help, they have created a haven in Zhytomyr like no other.  What a privilege to serve their vision and link arms.

Game Night is now officially a monthly event.  The group has requested next month’s gathering be a Karaoke Night!  OMG.  Bring.It.On.

Addy was in her element COMPLETELY. She was simply glowing all night. Thank you Jesus for kids who are catching Your heart.

Volunteers Extraordinaire! THANK YOU!!!

This is Sergei. He also works with us at Romaniv in the Isolation Room. He is so wonderful with the boys, so loving. Hero material right here, folks.

Today I’m glowing.  I’m basking in yesterday.  Today was a great day, don’t get me wrong, but part of the reason today was so good is because yesterday was simply superb.  It was a day of absolute beauty.  All day I felt God’s smile.  Lovely.

The day started out normal enough with Christina and I heading to Romaniv with the rest of the crew.  But Romaniv.  Oh Romaniv.  We had the BEST time.  Yesterday was hands down my favorite day at Romaniv yet.  No comparison.  It’s hard to say just what made it so special.  I think part of the goodness was that we are simply getting to know the boys more.  We are there consistently and it’s beginning to pay off bit by bit.  We know them all by name, some who are able can recognize us.  We are starting to get into a bit of a rhythm with our little team.  We are learning some of the specific needs of each of the boys and when we are able, we meet those needs.

The path to some of the best boys on earth

I had the most beautiful moment with one of the boys, Vova.  I’m supposed to save this for our series about Romaniv but I can’t hold it in.  You can read about it twice.  🙂  So Nina brought bubbles yesterday.  That’s the first time we’ve attempted bubbles with the boys.  It was AWESOME!!!!  A few of them loved it!!!  Total success.  Anyway, after playing with bubbles for a bit I decided to take one of the bottles of bubbles and go to the bedrooms to see if some of the boys who don’t come to play would enjoy them at all.  I went into the first room and found one boy asleep on the floor, one boy asleep on the bed, and Vova sitting in his bed rocking back and forth.  He was self-stimulating, banging his hand on his leg repeatedly as he rocked.  I said his name and knelt on the floor below him.  Slowly I started blowing a couple of bubbles.  Instantly he stopped stimming (self-stimulating).  He sat still for a moment and I blew a couple more bubbles.  He remained still and quiet so I kept on blowing, quietly and slowly, more and more bubbles.  Then, after a minute or so Vova slowly reached his hand up and started popping bubbles one by one.  He popped some in the air, a couple on his leg, on his bed.  He noticed the small wet spot left by a popped bubble and rubbed it with his finger.  I spoke softly to him a bit but was mostly just quiet as we played with the bubbles for a while.  After several minutes of fascination with the bubbles, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes.  He looked at me and just kept on looking.  Melt my heart and make it burst all at once!!!  I’ve never had eye contact like this with Vova before.  He is normally distant and doesn’t participate at all in our time on Fridays.  Then there we were, at his bed, looking at each other.  I swear to you he almost smiled.  It was magical.  I felt the smile of God and His presence so strongly in that moment.  I don’t even have words to describe it.  Tears were running down my face as we looked at each other.  Then Vova looked away and I resumed blowing bubbles.

In that moment of connection, I saw Vova in a different light.  Normally I think of him almost as an old man.  He walks unsteadily, legs bent at odd angles, not interacting with anyone. He often shrugs away from touch.  I don’t know if he is verbal at all.  Head shaved and nondescript face, but not yesterday.  I saw him as a young man yesterday.  I feel almost like I had the tiniest glimpse of how God sees Him.  He was beautiful and valuable and precious.  I will never ever forget that time.  It fills my heart with hope for what God has in store.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Jeremiah 29:11

That verse is for Vova.  That verse is for Misha.  That verse is for Bogdan and Vladik and Valera and Zhenya.  And because we believe that to be true, we have hope.

I got back home from Romaniv, and as I walked around the corner to our house I saw the kids talking to our neighbor!!  Our neighbors are like total mystery people.  We doubted their existence, so rare were the signs of life coming from their home.  Our building is actually made up of 6 “apartments”.  It’s hard to explain and hard to even tell where the different apartments start and end.  Well, finally I met one of our neighbors!  Not only that, but she was nice!  And she has a 2-year-old!  Seth and little Vitaliy played trains while we two Mommies attempted conversation.  We managed to visit for an hour!!  OMG.  HUGE breakthrough!  I could have burst I was so happy to have a neighbor connection with an actual human.  Woot!  Thank you Jesus and thank you Google Translate.

Getting our crazies out before going into the theater

Then to wrap up the most fantastic day ever, the kids and I (Jed was in Kyiv) went to a concert at our local theater with some friends.  We listened to a local Acapella choir that is famous throughout Ukraine.  It was absolute heaven.  They were beautiful.  I can hardly wait till their next tour.  You guys, it was such a treat.  They sang old traditional Ukrainian songs, songs in Latin, a fun song in English about springtime love, and even an old spiritual that I sang in high school choir!  Now that was a kick.  During the English song Ezra leaned over and said “Mom, this sounds a lot like English!”  “Yes, that’s because it IS English my boy.”  Haha!  They sang a tribute song to “Heavens Hundred”, the people who died on Maidan in February- ordinary people who gave all so their country could have a future.  Everyone stood while they sang, and many people were crying.  It was a moment I’ll not soon forget.  The spirit of the Ukrainian people is astounding.  In the midst of occupation and threat of invasion at our borders, they steal away on a Friday night to partake of beauty and honor their heroes.  At the end of the concert, the singers and the audience cheered “СЛАВА УКРАЇНІ!” (“Glory to Ukraine!”)  You could see the pride in their eyes.

So there you have it; my yesterday.  My heart is full.

Here is a video tribute to the Heavenly Hundred.  The song in this video is the song we heard sung last night.  May God bless Ukraine and may their deaths never be in vain.

Yay for Friday!!!

I’m really excited for you all to read about what happens at Romaniv on Fridays.  I just returned home from there a couple of hours ago and had the sweetest time.  I feel like God is moving there and we are really able to connect with some of the boys in a way we haven’t been able to before.  It’s so cool.

And, since you came all this way to take a peek at our little old blog, here are a few pictures of our week to reward you for your efforts.

Have a super weekend!

Girls love a good mohawk

Preschool at MTU 🙂

Honing our Ukrainian braiding skillz

Havalah, aka “Rock and Roll Girl”

Ez is so handsome in his school uniform!

Many moons ago, waaaaaay back in July of last year (not actually that long ago, but now it seems like another lifetime ago) I had the extreme pleasure of attending the Vineyard National Conference in Anaheim.  Oh the bliss!  I got to go with some of my favorite people on the planet, and Christen, Abby and I even got to go to Disneyland for a day!  I’m telling you, it was the stuff dreams are made of  🙂

One of the best days of my life. No joke. I love those girls!

Anyway, at that conference I got to connect with some awesome leaders in the Vineyard missions world.  One of them, the oh-so-wise Jerry Reddix, had a sit-down with me and shared some invaluable wisdom.  He talked with me about being really intentional with our kids in this new season of our lives.  He talked of rituals and routines that will help their little hearts to feel settled, even when everything around them is completely new and different.  He talked about a Daily Examen.  I look back on that conversation now as one of the most valuable I had before moving to Ukraine.  Jerry, if you ever read this, THANK YOU!!!!!  Your words were just what this family needed.

Jerry encouraged us to read a book called Sleeping With Bread: Holding What Gives You Life.  It’s a small, easy-to-read book that describes how to implement the Daily Examen with your family.  We aren’t Catholic, but the Examen isn’t just for Catholics.  Basically, the idea is to end your day by asking each person in your family to share about their day.  Think back, reflect on your day, and share the most life-giving moment, and the most difficult moment.  In our house, we say “What was the best part of your day and what was the hardest part of your day?”  We each share, and then at the end we pray and thank God for the great parts of our day, moments where we experienced His presence, joy, and love.  Then we talk to Him about the difficult moments and ask Him to help us with whatever made it difficult.  Simple, yet beautiful.  In the book, it phrases the questions as “What are you most thankful for today and what are you least thankful for today?”  At first, I was like “Woah…I don’t want my kids talking about what they aren’t thankful for!”  But really, why do we have to ignore the difficult times?  We aren’t dwelling on them, but voicing them and inviting God to be present in our difficult times.  We are bound to have hard times.  Ignoring them won’t make them go away.  Let’s talk about it as a family and agree in prayer for those situations.

The benefits of the Examen have been better than I ever expected.  Sure, sometimes there’s a night when everyone is hyper and silly and the Examen is less than contemplative (insert potty talk and fake burps…oh little boys…), but usually there is at least one gem that comes out of our time.  It helped us not-so-good-at-routine-Johnsons establish routine back in the US that we carried on here in Ukraine.  It’s something the kids can count on and it gives us a chance to key in on how everyone is really doing.

When we do our Examen we turn out the lights, we light candles, and we all take a turn sharing.  We also do our family read-aloud during that time.  It’s called “Family Time” and it’s lovely.  Of course, sometimes Seth won’t sit down, sometimes Havalah pouts, sometimes Addy or Ez has a bad attitude, and sometimes Mommy and Daddy are really just ready for the kids to go to bed so we aren’t super patient.  It’s not always a romantic, solemn, introspective time, but it’s still precious in its own way.  I know we are laying a foundation of open communication and sharing with one another.  I’m excited to see how the sharing deepens as the kids grow in maturity.  Right now when sharing about the difficult moments the kids like to use it as an excuse to tattle on each other.  Ha!  So, we try to move it back to them focusing on their own responses to the situation.  “Okay, so maybe so-and-so stole your toy, but how did you respond?”  People will always let you down, but God is always near and always faithful.

If this strikes a chord with you I highly recommend giving the Daily Examen a try.  Anyone can do it!  If you are single, you could journal your Examen.  If you have no kids at home you can share with your husband or wife.  Take a moment to quiet your heart at the end of the day and look back for glimpses of God’s presence.  When did you feel His joy?  What about that moment was so great?  When did you have a difficult time?  Was there something that happened when wish you would have responded differently?

Sleeping With Bread is a great book for understanding the benefits of the Examen.  I definitely don’t agree with everything in the book, but I can take out the good and forget the rest.  I’m okay with doing that.   🙂  The general idea is great and doesn’t deter me from the stuff I don’t agree with.

Soon I hope to share some of our favorite read-alouds from our Family Time.  I’m a sucker for a good book, hence the 6 ginormous boxes of books we shipped to Ukraine.  Be thinking of your favorites because I’ll be asking for suggestions!

What about you?  Do you have any great family nighttime routines you’d like to share?  I love hearing what others do at the end of their day.  Hmmmm?  Anyone?

It’s spring break!  Hip hip hurray!!!!  We’ve had such a great week.  We homeschoolers aren’t used to this “getting out of our jammies before 10am” thing.  School is brutal to our lazy morning routine!  But, slowly and surely we are learning.  This week of free play and jammie time has been just what the doctor ordered.  Woot!

So, how are the kidlets?  You’ve been asking and it blesses my heart that so many people love our kids.  I mean, I know they’re pretty fab, but nothing lights me up more than when other people care about my kids.  (Doing the dishes for me comes in as a close second, for future reference)  I would say the kids are doing pretty great.

My Love

Addy is loving school.  I’m not surprised.  She’s basically my Mini-Me and I LOVED school, all the way through college I loved it.  I loved the friends, the food, the friends…and more time with friends.  Addy is a social butterfly, so she really enjoys her time at school.  She’s made a couple of little friends and wakes up each day ready to go.  She’s still doing gymnastics twice a week and also really enjoys that.  Probably her favorite time of the day though, is when all the kids go to bed and she can read with her flashlight.  Addy is a total book-lover.  She always has been.  She doesn’t get as much free-reading time now that she spends her mornings in school, so we let her basically read for as long as she wants at night.  She finished the Anne of Green Gables series a couple of weeks back and just informed me that she’s now moved on to Shakespeare.  Ha!  She reads a version of Shakespeare that has been put more in a story form for kids.  Here’s the version, if you’re interested: http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Stories-Shakespeare-Edith-Nesbit/dp/1604595752

Handsome schoolboy

Ez Pez.  Oh, my Ez Pez.  Sweet little boy.  School’s a bit harder for Ezra, but he still says he enjoys it.  He would prefer to stay home and Lego it up all day, but alas, he’s learning that he does have some responsibilities in this world.  🙂  He always comes home from school excited about his time and eager to tell me all about it.  I choose to take that as a good sign.  He hasn’t made much progress in the friend department yet, but I think that’s maybe a boy thing.  I wouldn’t know, being a girl and all.  😉 He loves his sister and honestly, if he has Addy he is as content as can be.  The two of them have their moments, but in general, they are closer than they’ve ever been.  They are each others’ best friend- though they would never admit it!  Hehe.  Ezra is probably the most confident at language out of all the kids and we hear from others that his accent’s not half bad!  Sweeeet.  He has such a tender heart and I’ve noticed lately that when we share with the kids about Romaniv he really takes it to heart.  He thinks about it and it affects him.  I’m so proud of him.

Joy!

Big Boy!

Havalah and Seth are doing awesome. They are still so young, they seem to have barely noticed that we don’t live in the US anymore!  Kidding…sort of.  Seth is getting so big!  He’s grown out of his 4T clothes and he won’t be 4 until June.  He is so tall!!!  He’s talking a ton and his personality is coming out more and more.  We celebrated his Adoption Day last week.  I was again reminded of how amazingly blessed we are to be his parents.  He could not be a better fit in this family.  I really can not imagine what our lives would be like if we had said no to the DHS phone call that day in 2010.  Havalah remains a teeny tiny firecracker.  Oh my word.  That girl has got so much personality!  She goes about town, leaving swooning Babushkas in her wake.  Half of Zhytomyr is in love with Havalah.  Ha!  She is thriving and is content to spend most of her waking hours playing make-believe with her Playmobils.  Hava brings unbelievable joy to our home.

School has been quite the adventure!  I guess that’s the best way to describe it.  It’s actually been less of an adjustment than I would have imagined.  The kids like to go and are happy when we see them at the end of school time each day.  Their teacher doesn’t speak English and communicates with us by note.  She’ll write notes in this little book and then I go home and spend the next 45 minutes trying to decipher her handwriting so I can translate the note.  Ha!  She thinks the kids are doing great and in one note she said to “Please thank the tutor who helps the children with their homework.”  Ummmm, what tutor?  I wish! This Mommy and Daddy are the tutors around this joint!  Homework is a family affair each night as Jed and I bust out our phones to translate the homework assignment.  Painful with a capital P.

On March 8th we celebrated International Women’s Day at the school and the kids each had to memorize a poem to recite for all the moms.  They were given the poems on Monday to be memorized by Friday!!!  Panic ensued as we frantically translated and rehearsed and stumbled and cried.  But, by Friday our whole family knew both of the poems and Addy and Ezra rocked it.  They did SO AWESOME.  I think when I was sitting there listening to them recite their poems I was the most proud of them I have ever been.  They are just so stinkin’ brave.  Really.

They say they don’t understand what their teacher says, but they are doing well in school, so I think they must understand more than they realize.  They still can’t say much at all in Ukrainian.  My friend Alexis, who encourages me by email about language (thank you!!!), says that everyone who is learning a new language has a “silent phase”.  In that phase, you may not be able to produce spoken language, but you are still learning.  I think our whole family is in one big “Silent Phase”.  Alexis said she spoke to a man who moved his family to Japan and put his kids in Japanese school.  He said it took about 6 months and then they really took off.  I’ve heard many language promises that point to that 6-month mark.  Oh please Lord, let it be so!  🙂  Addy and Ez write beautifully in Ukrainian and can read, they just don’t know what they’re reading and writing.  But, all in good time.  Step by step.

It’s not all lollipops and roses.  The kids have their hard days, for sure.  They miss their friends and cousins.  They miss Grandparents and church and English.  On a rare occasion one of them will mention that they wish we could go back to Salem, but it’s not something they dwell on.  Even Jed and I have our lonely times when we think how much easier it would seem to just go back, but that’s not every moment.  Same with the kids.  They are being stretched and challenged for sure.  I wish I had someone to talk to who has “been there done that”.  I have no idea how to parent through all this transition, and in a second culture.  Still, the kids are happy and thriving in so many ways.  They are so brave and we trust that God knew what He was doing when He made each of them how He did.  They were made for this, just like Jed and me.  I’m so proud of them I could burst.

In fact, I’m so proud I just have to show them off a bit.  Here’s some video lovin’ for your enjoyment.  Thanks so much all of you who love my babies and pray for them.  It means the world to us!!

And just for fun, here are Hava’s outtakes. Enjoy the silliness!