Come on 2012!

I think it’s pretty safe to say 2011 has been one of the best years of my life. I can’t believe it’s almost over!!  It’s amazing to look back and remember what life was like just one year ago and how much has changed since then.
Last year, at the beginning of 2011 we were in mourning. We had just been told that our 7-month-old baby boy we had fostered since day 1 would not be able to become our son.  The state was going to be doing open recruitment to choose a family for him, but because of some policies that had just been changed, we would not be eligible to apply to be his family.  He knew no one but us, and hadn’t seen his birth parents since leaving the hospital at 2 days old. We were his parents.  We were being told a big fat NO.
BUT…..
Praise the Lord we have a rockin’ case worker and our boy has an amazing lawyer who stood up and shouted that this was not right.  They fought for our boy and for our family.  Now, at the beginning of 2012 we are simply waiting on some final paperwork to be processed and he will be ours.  He will officially and legally be our son.  Oh, how I long for that day.  They tell us it will be soon!!!  God truly moved mountains to give us our son.  (Soon we can show pictures of him too! He’s quite the cutie)  🙂
At the beginning of 2011, we were halfway into our first year as a homeschooling family.  We were questioning if we were doing the right thing, we were insecure, we were struggling with math.  🙂  Now, at the beginning of 2012, we are comfy in our homeschooling shoes.  That’s definitely not to say I think we’ve got it figured out or that I’m an old pro now, but I can say we know we are doing the right thing for our family and we are thankful for that security.  Our days are full- full of diapers, interruptions, spilled milk (really!), meltdowns, overflowing laundry baskets, and potty-training disasters.
BUT…
They are also full of giggles and snuggles on the couch with the latest read-aloud we just can’t put down.  They are full of math breakthroughs, library books, ballet in the living room, and sweet Bible times with our single candle lit on the kitchen table.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I thank God for the blessing it has been to our family.
At the beginning of 2011, I was a passive observer in my life with Christ.  I had become cynical and bored with my faith.  Oh, I have never stopped loving Jesus.  He and I had some sweet moments together, but they were few and far between- and I know the fault in that lies completely with me.  I had given up on dreams and passions that He had given me and created me for.  I was faithful in my actions, as far as serving the Body, yet my heart was far away.
BUT…
My God pursued me with reckless abandon.  He chased me down and He would not let me go.  He spoke to me in a small whisper at first.  That whisper grabbed my attention.  I picture Jesus like one of my kids who is so stinkin’ excited to show me something new, something they have created.  “Come here!  Look over here!  Look what I’m doing!!!!”  Yep, once Jesus had my attention He took me by the hand and said “Look!  I’m doing a new thing, and guess what?  You get to be a part of it!!  Follow me.”  Jed and I never would have thought last year at this time we’d be trying to learn a new language in preparation for a trip to a country in Eastern Europe.  I never even really thought about that country and we had NO idea about all the precious lives lying in wait there.  There was a whole community of people fighting for those precious lives and we had no clue about any of it!
I’m telling you what, Jesus changed my life in 2011 and I will never ever be the same.  My Jed has been amazing through it all.  He led our family and sought the Lord when I was uninterested.  He prayed for me and he loved me and I can never thank him enough for leading our family so faithfully.  Now God is calling Jed and I and our family to a great adventure.  Something big is about to happen.  YEEEEEEEHAW!!!!!
In 2011 God gave us our son.  He gave us vision.  He renewed our passion.  He changed our lives.  He set us on a course and we can’t wait to see where it leads.
Come on 2012! 

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The One that Started it All

I am so happy today.  It’s a bittersweet happiness, but less bitter and more sweet.
Last year at this time we had no idea about the orphan crisis in Eastern Europe.  We had no idea sweet precious children made perfect in the sight of God were alone in cribs forgotten by the world.
Then “by chance” I ran across an adoption blog that mentioned Reeces Rainbow and my eyes were opened.  I thought about those sweet faces all the time.  One face stood out among the rest.  No matter how many others I looked at, there was something special about this one.  So we prayed.  We prayed and prayed and God spoke.  He told us to go for it- this was our boy.  We were so excited!  We had prayed for this little one for months.  His picture was up on our wall, he was the child of our hearts.
Well, most of you know it wasn’t long until we found out he was being adopted by another family.  You can’t pre-select a child from that country, so another Reeces Rainbow family that was already there to meet their daughter met him and fell in love.  God totally paved the way for them to add him to their adoption.  Oh boy, the emotions that followed!  We grieved and we rejoiced.  We wept and we smiled.  It was totally confusing and horrible and wonderful at the same time.
Shortly after that time, God started leading us in another direction.  I know I’ve said it before, but I believe God led us to our boy to turn our hearts in the right direction.  He used our sweet one to open our hearts once again to the plight of the orphans.  He knew it would take us fully investing our hearts and saying “yes” to get us to the point where He could then show us the next turn in our path.
Not long after that all happened the situation in our boy’s country changed.  He was safely at home with his forever family when the office of government that handles all the adoptions in his country closed down to switch to another system.  People who are in the middle of their adoption process are right now just waiting for things to open back up so they can go rescue their babies.  If we would have proceeded with adopting our boy, if he had not been rescued by the family God had chosen for him he would be sitting and waiting for us.  Worse than that, he would most likely have been transferred to an institution and possibly lost forever.  Does our God know what He’s doing or what!!!?  This just blows my mind how perfect His plans are.  His ways truly are higher than our ways.
Now we are embarking on our grand adventure and he is safe at home with a loving and wonderful family that God destined for him.  I am amazed.
I see “my” sweet boy’s face and I know God has an amazing plan for his life.  I cried when I saw pictures of him this morning, but I can honestly say my tears are tears of thankfulness.  Thankfulness to our God who holds everything in His hands.  Praise God!
You can see pictures and a beautiful post about “our” boy here.  I will always love him.  🙂
Seriously, God amazes me.

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I Love November

November is National Adoption Month and Orphan Awareness Month.  Jed and I have been hard at work preparing a presentation for our church.  I am so stinkin’ excited to share with our body what we are most passionate about.  For our presentation we’ve been filming people from our church who have either been adopted, adopted a child themselves, fostered children, or somehow are actively doing orphan care.  It has been awesome.

I think sometimes when we passionate-about-orphans people get to really thinking about all the fatherless out there, all the babies without mamas, all the boys without daddies, it can get extremely overwhelming.  God, why aren’t people doing more?  Don’t they even care?  I sometimes feel alone in my passion.  I think about the fatherless every single day.  I pray for the orphaned ones every single day.  I look into the face of my baby and wonder what his life would have been like had he been born in a different country.  Would he have been abandoned?  Would he be languishing in an orphanage with no one to hold him when he cries?  Most likely.  It’s too much.

Then I lift my head up and I look around.  I start thinking of ones I know who I can get on film from our church.  I think of name after name of those who have answered the cry.  

Phil and Kathy- fostered over 30 teenage girls and adopted their daughter through foster care.
Tim and Rosa- running an orphanage in Asia for disabled children.
Debbi- adopted as a child and so thankful to share how she was rescued by her parents.
Sam and Angie- some of our very best friends who are in Bulgaria RIGHT NOW! visiting with their children they are adopting.

Yes, the need is great.
Yes, many ignore the need.
Yes, the church needs to rise up.

But,
Many are answering the cries.
Many are not ignoring the need.
Many are rising up.

I know God is on the move and He WILL NOT forget His children.
And I am encouraged.

 I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.  John 14:18

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Back in the Saddle


LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!!!  I know, I know, it may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is huge!  Ever since I was 13 years old I’ve been traveling the world.  All through high school I spent my summers going overseas on mission trips.  I chose the college I attended based on their summer missions program.  I married into a family of missionaries.  Jed traveled to Europe serving with his dad.  Jed and I have led several teen and adult teams on missions.  We have a huge world map on our wall and people we love all over the world.  We fancy ourselves the vagabond hippy type (with a mortgage and 4 kids in tow)….hmmm…..

Four years ago we visited my in-laws in Kosova and shortly after that, our passports expired.  That was devastating to me.  Not just that it costs an arm and a leg to renew them (ugh), but that we didn’t have a great urgency or need to renew them right away.  We knew God wanted us here where we are and we weren’t going anywhere soon.  He called us to the foster babes of our city and our heart was here with them.  He called us to a local church where we have grown, loved, and been loved.  It was a fabulous time of loving babies and raising up our own, but it felt like a part of us- or a part of who we dreamed God had created us to be was put on hold- maybe forever.  I know I sound a bit melodramatic, but that’s how I get about my dreams.  It’s the high school drama nerd in me.  🙂  We were willing to go and God had us here.  What’s up with that???

Fast-forward to January when God starts to stir up a season of change in us, then we commit to the sweetie overseas, and then that falls through- but God does not.  He is leading us and guiding us in the manner He knows we will follow.  He’s smart like that.  We don’t know what the end result is, but we know we must obey or miss the adventure of a lifetime.  So we’re going.  We’re going overseas in April.  Yep, that’s right!  We’re headed to Eastern Europe to scope things out and see what the Father would have us do.  We’re lining up contacts right now, people who are doing awesome orphan care, and seeing if we can meet and chat.  We don’t want to reinvent the wheel, we simply want to see what God is doing and what part He may want us to play.  We’ve got some pretty big ideas and dreams and no idea if they could be reality, but God knows.  Perhaps He’s leading us there to meet our next child?  Perhaps He’s leading us there so we can come back and put fire under the feet of the believers here in our town?  Perhaps He’s leading us there to help for good?  We don’t know, but we’re excited to find out!

If you would pray for us we’d sure appreciate it.  Specifically, we need to know who God wants us to meet with so we can set those things in motion.  We’ve put lots of feelers out there, but want God’s ultimate plan to come to pass.

More to come!

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A Day at the Beach

My sister-in-law and I took the kiddos to the beach on Monday!
It was glorious.  It was actually hot, which is a miracle around here.  It’s unheard of to actually be warm at our beaches without a sweatshirt or two on  🙂  We expect that and we love it, but the sun made Monday a most special treat! 
Hours upon hours spent running and playing…
It was glorious!!!
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Changing Directions

I need to get better about this blogging thing…I know there aren’t many (or any!) people reading it at this point, but somehewere down the line I’ll want to go back and remember this journey.

The winds are changing!  We had thought we would start to pursue another child, but things might be heading in another direction.  I just wrote about it in an email to someone who really has inspired us along this journey, so rather than writing it all over again, I’ll just paste in part of my email.

“I have to share with you what God has been doing since things changed directions with our RR sweetie.  So, of course at first we were super sad and confused.  What was God speaking?  It was obvious He moved mountains to make J’s adoption happen (for his adoptive family), then why did we feel like He had told us to commit?  We waited on Him and prayed, and continue to pray and wait.
This is what we know: God used J to turn our eyes in the direction of the Eastern European orphan.  He used him to turn our hearts in that direction.  I believe we had to commit to a child for our hearts to fully turn.  Does that make sense?  My heart was broken before, but when you commit to a child you give them your heart, and that was a game-changer for us.  Our foster care adoption has been drama after drama and honestly we had gotten a bit jaded.  J opened our hearts again to the plight of the orphan.
Ever since before we were married we have both desired to minister overseas.  I worked for a missions department in college and we have led several trips overseas, my inlaws are missionaries, our hearts are abroad.  We’ve asked God time and time again when we would get to go and always felt He had us where He wanted us in the US.  After things fell through with J, I instantly started looking for another child.  Jed was not so sure.  He works in early childhood attachment and development stuff, I’m a pediatric nurse…Jed asked the question “what if this is our time to go?”  I know it might sound crazy…but we are willing.  I know in that country there are cultural difference and mindsets dating back for hundreds of years.  I know it’s not a matter of just training orphanage staff to do better, it’s a matter of a nation seeing the value of life, that everyone is child of God and He does not make mistakes.  I’ve emailed some with Andrea G and she told me some of the reality of trying to help in the orphanages.  The problem seems impossible, but that is when God does his best work, right?
Our heart, Lord willing, is to join forces with people who are doing the work of helping these children.  We want to use our education and skills to help, but also somehow help in mobilizing the church to do what the Lord has commanded in caring for the orphans.  The church could do so much more than just the 2 of us.  I have no stinkin idea how this will play out, or what God has in mind, but our vision is big and our hearts are open.  We simply want to hear God’s voice and obey.  We would love to visit Eastern Europe in March or April of next year to scout out what God might be saying and maybe meet some contacts.
Things have turned out different on this journey than we thought, but through that experience God has awakened old passions and dreams that we thought we had to put on the shelf for life.  He is good and His love never fails.”
So, that’s it in a nutshell.  Like I said, we have no idea how this will all play out!  We are willing.  We desire to have our lives count for something.  I don’t want to live for comfort.  I don’t want to look back at our lives when are old and have regrets of what life could have been like if we would have lived radically for Him.  I don’t want to hold anything back.  Lord willing our kids will watch our lives, live it with us, and see His Kingdom come and His will be done.

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One Step Closer

Today I had my physical for our foster care adoption of Baby S.  That was the last bit that we had to do and now his file can go to Central Office for processing!  Woohoo!

My baby is growing and changing every day.  He was born addicted to drugs, but today he is a smiling, crawling, pointing, babbling, one year old who lights up our lives.  I don’t know if we will foster again, but I do know that he was our greatest reward for fostering.  We have had a lot of hard times in our last four years involved in foster care.  It has been one of the hardest and best things we have ever done.  Baby S is our prize 🙂  We are blessed beyond words.

On an “international note”, we had some doubts this past month, but have decided to continue with our international adoption homestudy.  We took some time to pray, wait on God, grieve, and listen.  God has not told us to stop, so we will continue to move.  The country we feel He is calling us to is closing adoptions for the next three months, so in the meantime we’ll do whatever we can do on our end to get ready for their re-open.  Bring on the paperwork!  It has been such a huge blessing to see the little one we originally committed to meeting his mommy and daddy for the first time.  I won’t lie, at first it made me cry.  I had so hoped to be his mommy and to have that meeting.  I dreamed of it.  But, helloooooo????  This is so not about me!!! Ha!  God is amazing.  He knew this precious one needed out of his country before the adoption closure.  As always, His ways are so much higher than our ways.  I’m thankful for that.

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Beginnings

Beginning…beginning of what?  That’s a good question.  The beginning of this blog, yes, but I had hoped today I would be starting this blog out with talking about the beginning of our adoption journey to kiddo #5.  Although things won’t look how I thought they would, I guess technically this is still about the beginning of our adoption journey.  Nice rambling start eh?  🙂

I’ll back up.  Who are we?
I’m Kim:  wife, Mommy, foster mom, home-school teacher, friend, pediatric nurse, coffee snob, lover of all things missions/orphans/helpless/least of these.  I’m passionate about the plight of the orphan, both here, and abroad.  My husband tells me my passion is “to mother the world”.  He may not be that far off!
Then there’s Jed: husband, Daddy, foster dad, friend, social worker, guitar-playin worshippin’ Jesus Freak.  He is my best friend and an amazing person.  He is selfless and totally committed to pursuing God’s plans and purposes.
Adelina: our oldest daughter, our amazing firstborn.  She loves to read and read and read.  She is mildly obsessed with Ancient Egypt.  Ha!  Addie is kind, loves and lives life to the fullest with a perpetual smile on her face.
Ezra: our first son, our “helper”.  Ezra loves to color, cuddle mommy, and jump on the trampoline.  He adores his older sister (though he would never admit that to anyone).  He is loving and tender, always the one to rush to kiss the babies.
Havalah:  our joy.  The name Havalah means “life”, and she is perfectly suited for her name.  Havalah is a bubbly ball of sweetness that you just can’t help but squeeze.  She knows what she wants and will let you know it!  She is our Polly Pocket and Strawberry Shortcake girl.
Baby “S”:  our unexpected miracle.  S is our foster baby boy that we have had since his birth.  We didn’t expect to keep him when we took him in, but now we can’t imagine our lives without him.  He will be one year old on Saturday and what a celebration that will be!  I’ll share another time the miracle that is our baby.  We are in the process of adopting him through our state.  He is happy, beautiful, and absolutely adored.

We created this blog because we recently committed to a little boy through Reeces Rainbow.  They suggest you start a blog for your adoption journey.  I actually found out about Reeces Rainbow through another blog.  I read on that blog about the plight of special needs orphans and was compelled to act.  After much prayer we knew God was calling us to pursue a certain boy.  I dreamed about him, prayed for him, God spoke, words were given, Scriptures were given, money was given!  It was very very clear to us that God was saying “Move!”  So we moved.  We sent in our committment papers and then today we found out that another family who was in country already had decided to adopt our boy.  It was a rare occurence and everyone involved was surprised at the turn of events.  We were shocked!  What do you do when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what God told you to do, but then things change so radically?  What do we make of it?  It’s confusing and heartbreaking.  When we committed to that boy I felt the feelings you feel when you find out your pregnant, and now I’m not sure what to feel since my “baby” is no longer mine.  I know legally he never was mine, but in my heart he was.  🙂

So, now we wait on the Lord.  He told us to move, so we will continue to move forward.  We will continue our home study paperwork and see where He leads.  I decided to start the blog anyhow, because even though the course of our journey has changed, I know it has not ended.  It is still the story of our adoptions of #4 and #5.  Your guess is as good as mine on how things will turn out!  God knows though, may His kingdom come and His will be done.  So be it!

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