Once upon a time, four years ago, I happened upon a blog of an adoptive mom who had just returned from Ukraine with her two new daughters, both with special needs.  That night, sitting on the couch with my laptop and cup of coffee, my life was changed.  Our lives were changed.

Tears streamed down my face that night as I read every post on the adoption blog.  That night I learned about life in Ukraine for orphans with disabilities.  A whole world was opened to me that I hadn’t even known existed.  I learned about school-age children, the size of infants, living their lives bedridden in their cribs.  I learned about mental institutions in rural villages that house the disabled- hidden from the rest of the world. I read for hours that night.  One blog led to another led to a website that led to another site.  My heart was broken and I knew something big was happening.  God meant for Jed and I to do something about this issue and these children, and He was serious about it.

Now, four years later, I’m in Ukraine, sitting on my bed with my laptop and my cup of coffee, realizing just how serious God was that night.  Yeah, He wasn’t messing around.  🙂

All along the journey that began that fateful night, God has been growing and refining the dreams He’s given us for orphans with disabilities here in Ukraine.  We knew then, and we know now that He has called us here with a specific focus on bedridden children.  That is a population of orphans that is extremely difficult to reach, but God has been very clear that they are our people.  They are the ones we are to fight for.  Of course, we are absolutely in love with many, many people with disabilities here that are not confined to their beds.  The big vision of Wide Awake includes varying levels of ability, but we knew then and we know now that God has a special plan for us that involves bedridden children.

The big question has always been “How will we gain access to the bedridden children?”  Those children are generally more hidden away and it’s difficult for outsiders to work with them at all.  Perhaps orphanage directors are afraid, maybe they are protective…we will probably never fully understand the reasons.  We have just known that it would be up to God to bring those children across our path.  After all, it’s not like we can just walk into any old orphanage and ask to be shown to the crib section.  Ha!  Access to medically fragile kids only comes with relationship and trust.  Those things take time, so we have not been in a hurry.

But God.

Last week our team arrived at Romaniv and learned that two new little boys had been transferred to our Isolation Building from the baby house orphanage.  When Jed saw them for the first time his heart skipped a beat (or two).  They are both five years old and the size of infants.  They are bedridden and have spent their whole lives thus far in their cribs.  They are exactly our target population.  For these boys and others just like them, we have sold everything and moved across the globe.  After months (actually years!) of wondering how we would gain access to children like these, they have literally been dropped in our laps.  We didn’t even have to find them.  They were brought to us! I still can’t believe it.

 Mission to Ukraine has been faithfully serving at Romaniv for five years.  Over those five years, they have loved and given and loved and given some more.  They have brought Jesus there and His light and love have changed everything.  It is not the same place it once was.  The staff are not the same.  The Directors are not the same.  The boys are definitely not the same!  Because of MTU’s incredible faithfulness, we now reap the harvest.  We are standing on the shoulders of giants.  Because of the amazing work they’ve done over the years, we have full access to our boys in the Isolation Room.  We can visit any time we want.  We can take the boys to the Sensory Room.  We can try new things and interact intentionally with each boy.  The Directors welcome us whenever we can come and invite us to even come more often.  It’s a situation we could only ever dream about.

Now we have new boys who are completely bedridden and we have full access to them.  We even got to visit on Tuesday and talk with the staff about some of their biggest concerns about caring for these new boys!  Today we got to bring them a pack n play so they are not confined to their room every minute of the day.  We got to bring them mobiles for the cribs.  We got to observe their feedings and give input and advice. We get to be actively involved in improving their quality of life and it’s unreal.

Testing out the new pack n play!

Each one of our boys in the Isolation Building holds a special place in our hearts.  We are learning their likes and dislikes, their habits and cues.  I really can’t express in words how much they mean to us and how great our love is for them.  They are our babies, each one of them.  I can’t even believe we have the honor of knowing them and loving them.  And now we have two more to love.

I guess I just had to share how awesome our God is.  His plans are so perfect.  He is so wise.  He placed us right where He wanted us, knowing all He had in mind.  He brought us here with an impossible-to-reach population in mind and then proceeded to drop them right in our laps.  Incredible.  I can not thank God enough for our dear friends at MTU.  They have paved the way through many hours of love and care, and they loved our boys before we even had a clue of their existence.   We will be forever grateful.  Now to watch and see what God does next!  🙂

Our little celebrities 🙂

Hi!  Wow, it’s been quiet around here!  BUT, for good reason.  Grams and Papi (my parents) are here visiting!  YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!!  So, I’d apologize for the lack of blogging, but I’m sure you all understand.  The last thing I want to do when I have my family here is sit down at the computer.  HA!  There’s so much to show them, so many people for them to meet, so many foods to try, so many Seinfeld episodes to watch together….time is precious.  But, they’re still sleeping this morning, so I thought I should take the time to share about their visit so far.

Grams and Papi arrived last Sunday evening and they had a BIG surprise in store for our kids.  They brought along our 10-year-old nephew Isaiah!  Oh man, I can’t even tell you how many times we almost blew their secret.  But, we somehow managed to keep our mouths shut and when they walked out of baggage claim with Isaiah in tow the kids freaked out appropriately.  They have been having a BLAST with their cousin.  Addy and Isaiah are just a few months apart in age and have always been close.  So, this was just about the best surprise our kids could have gotten.

Here we are at the airport for pick-up. Addy must have jumped up and down continuously for about 20 minutes when she saw Isaiah. 🙂

Catching up on long-lost Lego play

So far we’ve taken them all over Zhytomyr, and yesterday we spent the day in Kyiv.  My dad has all the Kyiv pics, so I can share those later.  I can’t even tell you how much it means to us to be able to take them around our new home.  Now they can picture the people and places we talk about when we Skype.  Now they understand our life a bit and it just makes all of us feel better.  🙂

Isaiah has done so great here!  What an awesome traveler!  He’s tried all the food, walked many miles, and even learned a few words in Ukrainian.  He’s been a bit homesick the last couple of days, but that’s not bad for a 10-year-old being so far from home.

Ezra is so special…

We had smoothies at our favorite little cafe

My eyes disappear when I’m really happy 😉

This was probably my favorite day. We took them to our bazaar and we just had a great day. My dad took pictures of blushing Babushkas. Lots of laughs.

We went to the local park with a few rides. The kids couldn’t wait to show Grams the rides since they knew she loved Disneyland. Hahaha! Not quite Disneyland…but still fun. 🙂

Can you tell Ezra’s been watching The Sandlot?

This picture was taken after church on Sunday. Aren’t they cute?

Approximately four minutes after that last photo we were caught in a TORRENTIAL downpour. You can either laugh or cry…right?

 The highlight of the visit so far, for me, is last Friday.  My parents got to come to Romaniv with me.  I’ve been wishing and waiting for that moment since we first visited Romaniv in 2012.  This is the reason we are here.  It is so important to me that my family really “gets it”.  They have always been supportive of our move.  Although they are sad we live so far away, they never told us no.  They knew this was what God had for us, but that doesn’t make it easy to have your kids all the way across the world.  

I needed them to see the faces and hug the bodies of the ones we came here to serve.  I needed them to see why with their own eyes.  So, Friday was my dream come true.  

Friday was also Addy’s first time to come help on the team.  She did great!  She has really taken ownership of the work at Romaniv.  She has memorized the names of the boys and listens when we describe their personalities and needs.  She has been begging to come help this summer, and the Directors said it was fine.  How special that she got to go with Grams and Papi!

Isaiah and my dad leave on Friday and my mom stays for ten more days.  I’m trying to treasure every moment without thinking too much about the fact that they leave so soon.

Could you pray with us?  Although we’ve had a great time, both of my parents have been sick on this trip.  🙁  My dad got a bad head cold that seems to be improving, but he still has a lingering cough.  Ukraine has not been kind to my mom’s stomach.  Yesterday in Kyiv she was pretty miserable and today she seems even worse.  It’s such a bummer!  I really want them to be well so we can enjoy these last couple of days to the fullest.  Thanks for your prayers!

Anyway, I just can’t say enough about how much it means to have visitors here.  I know it’s expensive to get here and not exactly a vacation locale, but it blesses us SO MUCH when people come and see our new world.  We have had the best time.  I don’t want it to be over!!!!  🙂

Last week was a very special week!  We had a week-long day camp at Romaniv orphanage! For the older, higher functioning boys the staff of Mission to Ukraine does a full-on VBS type camp for them with games, snacks, crafts, and lessons about Jesus.  They had Olympic games, opening and closing ceremonies complete with the Ukrainian flag and National Anthem, and LOADS OF FUN.

Since the doors to Romaniv were open to us all week we just had to take advantage of it and spend some special time with our Boys in Isolation.  Our boys could not handle, nor participate in a camp like the bigger boys, so we decided to spend the week taking small groups of boys aside each day in order to have some more intentional interactions with them.  It was AMAZING.  It was like a dream to be able to be with them one on one, to see them every day, to give them the individual attention they need.  Woohoo!

I shared a small glimpse of each day on the Wide Awake Facebook page, but I know many of you aren’t on FB.  Plus, there were sooooo many wonderful pictures to share- totally deserving of a big fat blog post.  Here you go!  I’m just cutting and pasting the FB blurbs and then you can see the pics of that day following the blurb.  Mmmmk?

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 1: I can’t even express the joy that was today. We decided for the Isolation Room kiddos we would use this week to focus on one-on-one interactions with the boys. So each day we will be taking a group of 5 boys aside and interacting with them more intentionally.

The Directors gave us the use of the sensory room and it was like heaven. Today we heard the first laughs ever (for us) from two of our boys. Big, hearty, belly laughs that we didn’t even know they had inside them. It was like hearing your baby’s first laugh- PURE JOY. These boys are growing and changing. It’s miraculous. Praise God for His love that never fails!!!

B loves the weighted blanket.

…and he also loves the ball pit!

Lesa helped us with the boys on Monday and Tuesday with her 14 year old son Igor. They were awesome. We were so happy to meet them!!

Sweet S is out of his wheelchair!!!!

Look at all that eye contact! And a smile!!!!! A few months ago we would have never dreamed smiles like this would be possible from V.

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 2

Today we fell in love… again. 

It started out a bit rough, with miscommunication and WAAAAAY too many boys with high needs in too small of a space. Ha! We really want the Sensory Room to be a safe place, and boys were stressed and self-harming, so we had to act fast. We switched boys in and out till we has the right mix, and then had a super great time.

Yuroslav, oh sweet boy. He rarely joins us on our Friday visits, content to sit outside in the hall calling out “Mama! Papa!” every so often and sucking his thumb. Today we learned he is strong and he LOVES to play ball. It’s awesome to have the time to connect with the harder-to-reach boys. We can observe them closely and try different ways to make that human connection.

Two days down, three more to go!

Misha is blind and he loves music. He ADORES music.

Did I mention music makes him very happy? 🙂

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 3: 
Today was interesting and different and goooood. When we arrived, we learned it was “bath day”. We didn’t know, since we never go there on Wednesdays. So, we first waited for baths to be done. It was pouring down rain outside and when we asked the caregivers if we could take a few boys to the other building to the Sensory Room after bath time they WERE NOT having it.  So, we winged it! 

We brought all the boys together and basically did what we normally do on Fridays. At first the caregivers said we could only have one hour with them because they needed to clip their nails and such (remember, it’s Bath Day), but once we got going they relaxed and let stay for the whole time. 

There was some great connection time with several of the boys. Zhenya even fell asleep in my lap! Happy sigh…  We got to connect with a caregiver we had never met before and ease her load for a couple of hours. All in all it was a very sweet time. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Pray we have a dry day tomorrow so we can visit the Sensory Room again! Thanks  

Christina and Maks got to come help on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. This was Maks’ first time to Romaniv. Thank you dear friends!

Zhenya loves a good cuddle. 🙂

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 4: 
Today was a day of hopes fulfilled, and dreams dreamed.  

The sun was out so we got to take a few boys to the Sensory Room! There were 4 boys in particular we were hoping to work with today and lucky us, the caregivers were like “Go for it! Take whoever you want! Take them all!” Ha! We took our 4, plus sweet Yuroslav and Valera for extra cuteness sake.

We had amazing interactions with two of the boys we brought. They are usually very medicated and they sleep a lot. During our time in the Sensory Room they were alive! They smiled and giggled and responded very well. Just what we had hoped for!

The other two boys are always highly medicated and distant. They don’t interact with others at all. Unfortunately we were not able to break through to them today. Their bodies were in the room, but their minds were far away. We have much work to do before we can connect with them in a meaningful way. We dream of that day- the day we truly see who they are. 

We are not discouraged. We are hopeful! We are thankful for an open Director who cares, willing and cooperative caregivers, those who have paved the way for this work. and most of all for a God who is bigger. NO ONE is beyond His reach! One step at a time…

Misha was not so sure about the swing at first…then promptly fell asleep.

Valera loves stuffed animals of all kinds. He is so sweet.

Hahahahahaha

Orhan does so well with a weighted vest. He is making good gains these days, learning to be less aggressive…one step at a time…

Z needs to taste everything

Oooooh it makes noise!

Tasting the puzzle…

Leaning in for the cuddle…

So sweet…

Ha! Unexpected kiss! Hahaha

We had hoped to connect with these sweeties, but they are unreachable right now- locked inside themselves. We’re praying for wisdom in how to help them. Pray with us!

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 5:
Today was the end of a wonderful week spent with Our Boys. Almost all the boys got to go outside to spend some time in the sun and it was WONDERFUL. Their faces lit up when they saw the team arrive for another day. Like “You guys are here AGAIN???” It’s awesome to see them begin to walk, scoot, and crawl to the door when we arrive, hoping they get to go out to play for a bit. 

Today after camp all the volunteers, the staff of Mission to Ukraine, and a couple of the orphanage staff went to a park for a picnic. We celebrated the wonderful strides that have been made this past year, and began to dream of the work that is yet to be done.

Our dreams are BIG. We dream of each boy having an occupation- a way to spend his time, a way to contribute to the world around him. We dream of the Boys serving each other in greater ways; we dream of boys learning to read, learning to walk, learning to speak. Mostly we dream of a place for the boys to be where they can know the love of their Father God through the love of a family. I could go on and on. 

One day at a time, one boy at a time, one YES at a time. Thank you for sharing in the journey! Today, wherever you may be, may you live this day Wide Awake- ready for the next YES that lies before you.

Sergey got to come help on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. I can’t even tell you what a wonderful servant he is. Sergey KNOWS the boys well and he loves them very much. Thank you Seriozha!!!

Our wonderful Nina got to come on Friday!!! Every single boy loves Nina. She has the biggest heart and such a wonderful, peaceful way with them. Thank you Nina!!!

At the closing ceremonies. Our hope for Ukraine is in God alone. He knows and He cares. 🙂

Our dear friend Olya, from Kyiv, came to stay with our family Monday through Wednesday so Jed and I could both be at Romaniv those days.  On Thursday I went, and Jed stayed home with the kids, and then on Friday Jed went and I stayed home.  We both really wanted to be at the picnic on Friday, so wonderful Dima, the driver for MTU, drove the kids and me out to Romaniv on Friday to meet the team and go to the picnic together.

Our kids have been longing and dreaming of visiting Romaniv.  They hear about the boys all the time.  They see their pictures almost daily.  These boys have become a huge part of our lives and our kids were dying to meet them in person.  We haven’t gotten permission yet for Addy and Ezra to visit the boys with us on Fridays, but we feel like they are ready (Hava and Seth are too young).  I wasn’t so sure before- I was afraid Addy and Ezra would be frightened, we didn’t know the boys as well.  But they have been asking more and more, so Friday was a good chance to give them a little taste of Romaniv to see what they thought.

Dima drove us to Romaniv and I told the kids if the team wasn’t quite finished and if they were still inside we would ask the caregivers if we could come inside to see the boys just for a minute.  You would have thought we had backstage passes to the concert of a lifetime they were so excited!

When we arrived the team was still cleaning up, so I took the kids to the Isolation building.  They were immediately greeted by the boys who were outside and I was so proud of them!  They looked the boys in their eyes and shook their hands- even Hava and Seth!  They looked a little unsure, but not really afraid.  Then Addy and Ezra came inside the building and got to meet several of the boys inside.  They knew them from the pictures and they were OVER THE MOON to meet them!  You could see they were excited, but also nervous.  I mean, it’s a big sensory experience even for adults, so I thought they did really well.  The boys can look kind of scary, it’s super stinky, but they both really loved it.  They have been begging to go back, so we just need to pray and ask God what He has in store for our kids at Romaniv.  I hope soon they can be joining us regularly.  It’s part of who they were created to be!

Addy and Seriozha. His face lit up when he saw her. I wonder when he last saw a little girl?

Overall it was a fantastic week.  I can’t even tell you how extraordinarily thankful we are for those who have gone before us.  For years, MTU and several volunteers have faithfully poured in to the boys and the staff at Romaniv.  Without their faithfulness and perseverance we would have never had the week that we did.  The Directors are so open to the help- that is a huge answer to prayer.

There is a lot of work to be done.  There are many boys not pictured here because they were too medicated, or too withdrawn to participate at all.  There are many boys still locked inside themselves.  Our boys still spend the majority of each day tied to their beds because there isn’t enough staff to keep them safe from themselves and others.  Many of them only see the sun when we come on Fridays.  Oh there is so much to be done.  BUT weeks like this remind us of just how far things have come.  God has done the miraculous in Romaniv and He’s not about to stop now.

Praise God for his abounding love for these boys and their caregivers.  Praise God that what was once hidden is now brought to light.  Praise God that He has a hope and a future for each boy, for each person He created.  And praise God we get to partner with him in that!

Oh Romaniv…oh sweet boys.   I wish so much that each of you could visit Our Boys and spend even just a few minutes with them.  I wish I could accurately and fully express just how we feel about them.  They are beyond precious to us.  I remember the very first time Jed and I ever visited there…nervous, excited…never the same.  Never would I have dreamed at that time that we would now be so invested in to these boys.  We are learning about their little quirks, their likes and dislikes, who can eat a banana on his own and who needs help; who will try to eat rocks and grass outside and who will try to escape; who will throw their shoes on the roof of the building and who’s feet are too twisted and misshapen for shoes at all; who needs to be held tightly when overstimulated and who likes to sway…the list goes on and on.  There is so much to learn and we have the time to learn it.  These are the things that matter.  To know and to be known, I’ve never understood the importance of that until this move.

Our Isolation boys stay inside all day every day.  There are simply not enough caregivers to take them all outside.  All day every day in the same small building with the same hall and same rooms.  No wind in their face, no sun on their skin, no grass between their toes.  They eat in their building and sleep in their building.  It is their whole world.

A few weeks ago we decided to ask the caregivers if we could take the boys outside during our Friday visits.  We weren’t sure if they would allow it, but it never hurts to ask!  Surprisingly they said yes without hesitation.  The only problem was digging up enough shoes and coats for all the boys.  Oy.  Yeah, they were only able to find enough shoes and jackets for 8 of the 21 boys.  We were disappointed that some boys would be excluded, but we still took several of them outside.

Later that day I posted about the visit on the Wide Awake Facebook page.  I mentioned that there weren’t enough coats and shoes to go around and that people could let us know if they wanted to help with that.  Oh.My.Word.  You guys!!!!  Your generosity blew us away.  Within the next couple of days, $725 was donated to buy shoes and coats for the Boys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

We went to Mission to Ukraine (MTU) to discuss how and where to purchase the needed items for the Boys.  They, in turn, contacted the Director at Romaniv and he indicated that they should have enough coats and shoes for all the boys…they just needed to be taken from storage.  So, we are a bit halted right now on buying the items as we try to verify if there are truly enough clothes for everyone and if not, what sizes are needed.  We already know the shoe supply is not adequate.  We’ve got some foot measuring to do.

(Hint: nothing happens quickly in these here parts.  No biggie, we’ve got time.)

In the meantime, we’ve been able to take the boys out every Friday since!  The caregivers have found enough slippers for those who are willing to go outside.  Most of them are broken slippers and don’t stay on worth beans, but at least it’s enough to get them out the door 😉 It’s been warm enough that we haven’t needed jackets, so we have time to work on that issue.

One need that did arise is the need for hats.  Our Boys never see the sun, so you can bet they are as pale as can be,  We realized right away that they needed hats to provide some sun protection while we’re outside.  So, we were able to use a portion of the donated funds to buy hats for the boys!

A few of our more interactive boys were SO EXCITED!!!  It made us feel so much better to know their little white faces were protected.  The last thing we need is a sunburn to rain on our parade.  🙂

Thank you to each and every person who donated so graciously.  Each step forward greatly improves their quality of life and we just can’t thank you enough for making it possible.

We’ll keep you posted on the shoe and jacket purchases.  We really need to get some shoes that fasten well so “you know who” can’t chuck them up on the roof of the building quite so easily….ahem….not to name any names…  🙂

…ahem…

What? You want me to actually keep this on my head???

Wishful thinking!

Maxim stole my camera and took this one 🙂

Annnnd here’s me begging Maxim to return the camera…haha

If you are interested in donating specifically for the boys at Romaniv, here is a link to their fund.

Today was so full!  Full of funny moments, full of awholelotta walking, and full of joy.

Here’s just a few moments of note.

1.  Addy and Ezra’s class went on a trip to the local puppet theater today.  We found out just yesterday that kids who wanted to, could go today.  I wondered why we always find these things out at the very last moment.  Then…aha!  I discovered an announcement board outside their classroom!  Yes, I know, it’s been there all along…but when all you see everyday is walls filled with things you don’t understand, it’s hard to know what to pay attention to and really try to decipher, and what isn’t worth your time.  I don’t often have the desire to stand in the school halls with Google Translate at my side, so I usually go with the “if it’s really important they’ll tell me” route.  No more!  I will now be vigilantly watching for new notes on the announcement board.  No more surprise field trips for the Johnson fam!  We will now be well-informed members of society.  (Here’s to hoping at least)

The wonders you can find on this “Announcement Board”! Look, a spelling word list! Hmmmm I wonder how many of these we’ve missed. Oops.

2.  When I dropped the kids at school this morning their teacher asked me if I wanted to come along on the field trip.  Sure, why not?  She mentioned it was quite a long walk, but if I thought the Littles would be up for it they could come too.  Well, Jed was in Kyiv today, so if I wanted to be there then the Littles would have to buck up and hike along with us.

I gave Hava and Seth a pep talk about being strong, not crying and whining when we go on the long walk….blah blah blah…”If we whine and cry then Teacher probably won’t invite us on another trip, right?”

I’m happy to report that they did great on the walk.  🙂  It was about a mile walk from the school to the theater.  It was HILARIOUS to be a fly on the wall with Addy’s and Ez’s class.  It’s also funny to learn all the in’s and out’s of school here.  Like, for field trips, there are no permission slips, no planning which parents will drive, and no parents at all!  Their brave teacher just confidently lined up boys in one line and girls in another and headed out on the walk with all of her students.  Along busy streets, and across crosswalks, she walked in the front, trusting the kids would follow.  When school classes cross streets they hold up a red flag so cars will stop.  One kid in the front of the line holds a flag, a kid at the back of the line holds a flag, and the teacher holds a flag.  When crossing a street she just walks on out there, risking life and limb 😉 and stands in the middle of the street for her class to cross. They do this every day when they walk from one building to another for lunch.  Today I got to see it in action.  I tell ya, that teacher is one brave woman.  One woman, taking a whole class on a mile walk through town to a field trip and back.  She totally rocks it.  I wasn’t a ton of help since I had Havalah and Seth, but I tried to keep the stragglers from straggling too far behind.

3.  I’m a “smeller”.  Smell means a lot to me.  How things smell really matters, I can’t overlook a bad smell with much grace at all.  It’s a struggle.  But, being a “smeller” can also bring a lot of joy!  Good smells make me so happy!  Anyway, I do have a purpose for telling you that.  While walking back to the school today I had such a strange moment.  I smelled a very beloved smell.  I smelled “Mission Trip” smell.

All throughout my teen years I went on mission trips.  I traveled all over the world during high school and college.  God put the world in my heart and I just had to go.  There’s a certain smell I remember from mission trips that I’ve never smelled in the US.  It’s a smell you smell when you’re walking on a city street.  I don’t know what all it entails, but it’s a mixture of gasoline, tires, foreign food cooking…and I don’t know what else.  I love that smell.  To me, that smell means Jesus.  It means being Jesus to the people He’s called you to.  It means going out of your comfort zone and giving your all for His sake.  It means loving people that you don’t understand and doing things you don’t understand, simply because Jesus said to, and it is what you were created for.

Today I smelled that smell.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I looked around and saw my children walking ahead of me in a line with their class.  I heard the buzzing of Ukrainian/Russian swirling around my ears.  For a moment I thought “Oh my word.  This is really happening.  This is my life.  I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS.”  I was overcome with thankfulness, and completely humbled.  All my life I dreamed of this and now it’s happening. May I never, ever forget what a joy it is to serve Christ in this way.  The last couple of weeks have been hard for me, personally.  My heart needed that smell to remember its purpose.  🙂

4.  Jed got to spend the day in Kyiv with some boys from Romaniv!  MTU took some of the highest functioning boys to see a dolphin show.  Jed got to go along and he had a great time.  I’ll let him tell you about that at another time.  I just have to share a sweet moment that happened on their way home.

Jed texted me as I was cooking dinner and let me know the boys’ bus was stopping at MTU on the way back to Romaniv so the boys could use the bathroom and volunteers could go home.  He asked if I wanted to come say hi.  YES YES YES!!!!!  I hurried the kids to put on their shoes, paused the dinner-making, and flew out the door.

On their way to the Dolphins!

Oh.My.Word.  Dream come true.  Watching my own kiddos meet some of “Our Boys” was so, so sweet.  The Boys were so curious and kind.  They attempted the kids’ names and shook all their hands.  Valera, our “helper”  (highest functioning boy) in the Isolation Room was there and I was so happy for the kids to meet him!!!  We talk about him all the time.  I feel like “The Boys” have been like some big mystery to our kids.  Now they have faces for some of the names.  Now they see they are real people.  Ezra and Havalah were pretty shy. Seth was curious.  Addy was smitten.  Her eyes were glowing.  It was like a celebrity sighting! As soon as we walked out of the building to head home she said “Mom!  When do I get to start helping at Romaniv???” Soon I hope.  🙂

McDonalds in Kyiv, complete with balloons!

So, that was today.  There were other small funny moments too, like when I walked into gymnastics to pick up Addy and one mom that I see all the time finally blurted out “Why did you come to Zhytomyr??”  Hahaha!  Like it’s been bugging her all this time and she finally just had to ask.  Hilarious.  Or when the kids were getting ready for bed and Hava and Seth tricked me.  They acted like they had their jammies on, but then on the count of 3 pulled back their covers to nakey little bodies.  Oh they laughed so hard!  Meanwhile Addy died laughing as Ezra screamed over and over at the top of his lungs, “Слава Україні!  Слава Україні!”  (“Glory to Ukraine!  Glory to Ukraine!”)

Is this life for real?

Today I’m glowing.  I’m basking in yesterday.  Today was a great day, don’t get me wrong, but part of the reason today was so good is because yesterday was simply superb.  It was a day of absolute beauty.  All day I felt God’s smile.  Lovely.

The day started out normal enough with Christina and I heading to Romaniv with the rest of the crew.  But Romaniv.  Oh Romaniv.  We had the BEST time.  Yesterday was hands down my favorite day at Romaniv yet.  No comparison.  It’s hard to say just what made it so special.  I think part of the goodness was that we are simply getting to know the boys more.  We are there consistently and it’s beginning to pay off bit by bit.  We know them all by name, some who are able can recognize us.  We are starting to get into a bit of a rhythm with our little team.  We are learning some of the specific needs of each of the boys and when we are able, we meet those needs.

The path to some of the best boys on earth

I had the most beautiful moment with one of the boys, Vova.  I’m supposed to save this for our series about Romaniv but I can’t hold it in.  You can read about it twice.  🙂  So Nina brought bubbles yesterday.  That’s the first time we’ve attempted bubbles with the boys.  It was AWESOME!!!!  A few of them loved it!!!  Total success.  Anyway, after playing with bubbles for a bit I decided to take one of the bottles of bubbles and go to the bedrooms to see if some of the boys who don’t come to play would enjoy them at all.  I went into the first room and found one boy asleep on the floor, one boy asleep on the bed, and Vova sitting in his bed rocking back and forth.  He was self-stimulating, banging his hand on his leg repeatedly as he rocked.  I said his name and knelt on the floor below him.  Slowly I started blowing a couple of bubbles.  Instantly he stopped stimming (self-stimulating).  He sat still for a moment and I blew a couple more bubbles.  He remained still and quiet so I kept on blowing, quietly and slowly, more and more bubbles.  Then, after a minute or so Vova slowly reached his hand up and started popping bubbles one by one.  He popped some in the air, a couple on his leg, on his bed.  He noticed the small wet spot left by a popped bubble and rubbed it with his finger.  I spoke softly to him a bit but was mostly just quiet as we played with the bubbles for a while.  After several minutes of fascination with the bubbles, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes.  He looked at me and just kept on looking.  Melt my heart and make it burst all at once!!!  I’ve never had eye contact like this with Vova before.  He is normally distant and doesn’t participate at all in our time on Fridays.  Then there we were, at his bed, looking at each other.  I swear to you he almost smiled.  It was magical.  I felt the smile of God and His presence so strongly in that moment.  I don’t even have words to describe it.  Tears were running down my face as we looked at each other.  Then Vova looked away and I resumed blowing bubbles.

In that moment of connection, I saw Vova in a different light.  Normally I think of him almost as an old man.  He walks unsteadily, legs bent at odd angles, not interacting with anyone. He often shrugs away from touch.  I don’t know if he is verbal at all.  Head shaved and nondescript face, but not yesterday.  I saw him as a young man yesterday.  I feel almost like I had the tiniest glimpse of how God sees Him.  He was beautiful and valuable and precious.  I will never ever forget that time.  It fills my heart with hope for what God has in store.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Jeremiah 29:11

That verse is for Vova.  That verse is for Misha.  That verse is for Bogdan and Vladik and Valera and Zhenya.  And because we believe that to be true, we have hope.

I got back home from Romaniv, and as I walked around the corner to our house I saw the kids talking to our neighbor!!  Our neighbors are like total mystery people.  We doubted their existence, so rare were the signs of life coming from their home.  Our building is actually made up of 6 “apartments”.  It’s hard to explain and hard to even tell where the different apartments start and end.  Well, finally I met one of our neighbors!  Not only that, but she was nice!  And she has a 2-year-old!  Seth and little Vitaliy played trains while we two Mommies attempted conversation.  We managed to visit for an hour!!  OMG.  HUGE breakthrough!  I could have burst I was so happy to have a neighbor connection with an actual human.  Woot!  Thank you Jesus and thank you Google Translate.

Getting our crazies out before going into the theater

Then to wrap up the most fantastic day ever, the kids and I (Jed was in Kyiv) went to a concert at our local theater with some friends.  We listened to a local Acapella choir that is famous throughout Ukraine.  It was absolute heaven.  They were beautiful.  I can hardly wait till their next tour.  You guys, it was such a treat.  They sang old traditional Ukrainian songs, songs in Latin, a fun song in English about springtime love, and even an old spiritual that I sang in high school choir!  Now that was a kick.  During the English song Ezra leaned over and said “Mom, this sounds a lot like English!”  “Yes, that’s because it IS English my boy.”  Haha!  They sang a tribute song to “Heavens Hundred”, the people who died on Maidan in February- ordinary people who gave all so their country could have a future.  Everyone stood while they sang, and many people were crying.  It was a moment I’ll not soon forget.  The spirit of the Ukrainian people is astounding.  In the midst of occupation and threat of invasion at our borders, they steal away on a Friday night to partake of beauty and honor their heroes.  At the end of the concert, the singers and the audience cheered “СЛАВА УКРАЇНІ!” (“Glory to Ukraine!”)  You could see the pride in their eyes.

So there you have it; my yesterday.  My heart is full.

Here is a video tribute to the Heavenly Hundred.  The song in this video is the song we heard sung last night.  May God bless Ukraine and may their deaths never be in vain.

Yay for Friday!!!

I’m really excited for you all to read about what happens at Romaniv on Fridays.  I just returned home from there a couple of hours ago and had the sweetest time.  I feel like God is moving there and we are really able to connect with some of the boys in a way we haven’t been able to before.  It’s so cool.

And, since you came all this way to take a peek at our little old blog, here are a few pictures of our week to reward you for your efforts.

Have a super weekend!

Girls love a good mohawk

Preschool at MTU 🙂

Honing our Ukrainian braiding skillz

Havalah, aka “Rock and Roll Girl”

Ez is so handsome in his school uniform!

One month ago from almost this exact moment we touched down in Ukraine. One month ago all 6 of us + 12 suitcases + 8 carry-ons + 1 guitar touched down in our new home. Has it only been one month??? It feels more like one year! Not in a bad way, but in a really strange way it feels like we’ve been here a whole heckofalot longer. I guess kids do that to you; they make you settle in real quick like. 🙂 Our new reality set in fairly fast and we’ve been on a ginormous learning curve ever since.

This is my take on the past month. Jed doesn’t do much blogging here (ahem…) so these are my thoughts. He’d give you a different perspective, and it would probably be more profound, but I’ll share mine just for the fun of it.

The Hard Things:

Language.

Duh. Yeah, at this exact moment Russian is my enemy, my worst nightmare, my insurmountable mountain. Russian is stinkin’ hard y’all.

But, we actually have picked up quite a bit, and when we remind ourselves we’ve only been here for one month we start to feel a little better about our progress.

Everything’s labeled…

Still, Russian hates me. Holy moly. My brain hurts just thinking about it.

Shopping.

Shopping is an interesting beast. The hard part isn’t finding delicious foods. Ukraine has loads of deliciousness available! The hard parts are prices (WAY TOO EXPENSIVE) and lack of car. These things aren’t impossible, just a little harder than in the US. I’m learning to cook like a Ukrainian in order to be able to afford groceries. Cooking like an American just doesn’t cut it here. The foods that would be frugal back in Oregon aren’t really frugal here, for the most part. Lucky for us we all love Ukrainian food! I just need to find out how to cook more of it so we can have a bit of variety in our lives.

The store we walk to most often

We use public transportation all the time since we don’t have a car. It’s pretty sweet that we live super close to a really busy bus stop. We can easily catch a bus whenever we want one. So, that’s no biggie, except when we want to do “big shopping”. “Big shopping” doesn’t mean Costco Big, it just means we need to buy for more than just today. Like last night for instance, we needed to buy diapers, pull-ups, and some stuff for the house, along with our normal purchases (cabbage, potatoes, beets, carrots, sour cream, milk, coffee, butter, and flour). That’s all fine and dandy…but how are we gonna get it all home??? Oh, that’s right…we’re gonna carry it! Ha! So, basically, we can only buy what we can carry, and when you factor in slippery sidewalks, kids bundled to the nines, dark at 4:30pm, a bus ride, and little hands that need to be held, you realize you really can’t buy all that much. Jed and I are shopping and debating what’s too heavy and what we can handle. “Sure, we can buy those mandarins, they aren’t too heavy. Oooooh no, we can’t get eggs…there’s no way we’re making it home with those babies still intact!”

On the bus with my sweetie after shopping last night

It’s an often hilarious, and an unexpectedly hard thing. Big time learning curve there. (And I didn’t even mention label-reading. Forget about it!)

Time Management.

Up to this point, we’ve pretty much been in survival mode. Not in a bad way, it’s just reality. Schedules and time management have been a work in progress.

Starting a non-profit from scratch is a lot like starting a new business. We have to account for expenditures, thank our givers, get the word out, stay accountable to our Board, and seek God for direction and vision, all while living in a world where every.single.thing is new.

It’s easy to get focused on just living every day and get backlogged on Wide Awake “stuff”. That’s been a hard one that we are far from mastering, but we’re plugging away at it. Again, let’s remind ourselves that we’ve only been here one month, mmmmk?? 🙂

The Awesome Things:

Walking.

I know, earlier I said not having a car is hard, but it’s really only hard when we go “Big Shopping”. Otherwise, I can honestly say that I enjoy walking everywhere. It’s so beautiful!!! We have to shop a bit almost every day (that’s the way it works here with a fam of 6), and I love our daily jaunts to the store.

On the way to the store

Usually, just Jed or I will head out in the afternoon with a kid or two and pick up the few things we need for that evening’s dinner and the next day’s breakfast. I love walking down the street in the fresh air, holding on to Addy’s hand just enjoying being with her. No radio blaring, no traffic to navigate, just me and my girl or sometimes my boy, walking down the street to our corner market. It’s precious. We’re learning labels together, learning what stores we like for what items, stretching our legs, breathing in fresh air, and feeling the sun (wishful thinking) on our faces. I like it a lot.

New Friends.

Duh. This one is HUGE. We have some wonderful friends here in Zhitomir. Thank you Jesus!!! Our friends Oleg and Tanya have been so good to us. They’ve ordered water for us for home delivery, helped me buy boots for my frozen Oregonian feet, taken us for coffee, celebrated a birthday and Thanksgiving with us, calmed my nerves when I heard unexpected fireworks and Jed was gone for the weekend (I was a wee bit nervous…), told us which brands of food are better, translated for us with our landlady, translated for us with our neighbors when we got the unfortunate “don’t flush the toilet paper” news hehe, helped us figure out our address, called taxis…and on and on and on. They’ve pretty much saved our bacon way too many times already. They probably feel like it’s been a heckofalot longer than one month too!! 😉

(Insert cute pic of friends…apparently we’re too busy drinking coffee and such for pics. Will remedy soon!!)

Mission to Ukraine friends have been AMAZING too. From the moment we walked in their doors on November 14th we’ve felt so incredibly welcome. They are excited to have us and we are so excited to have them!!! The MTU staff puts up with our blundering Russian with such grace. Bless their hearts!! They invite us to church, find lawyers to help us with our visas, feed our kids cake, hug us and kiss our cheeks, and on and on. One special family from MTU (mom and daughter both work there) has especially taken us under their wing. I feel like they are God’s special precious gift to us. Sigh, God is just too good. And that’s just the Zhitomir friends! Don’t even get me started on the treasures He’s given us in Kiev…

Romaniv.

Oh, my precious Romaniv! I was there again today and I am in love. Last week Jed and Nina, the AMAZING volunteer from Zhitomir that comes each week to the isolation room, discussed implementing more structure for the time we spend in the isolation room. Today Nina and I followed the plan the best we could and the boys responded immediately. Our time was so much more peaceful than the last time I was there! At one point we were feeding the boys bananas and Nina and I looked at each other in disbelief. It was SILENT in the room. The boys, for that moment, were content and quiet. It was such a moment of hope. God gave us all a bit of wisdom and then He blessed it. The boys responded fabulously and I can’t wait to see how they do after the structure is implemented week after week. Yay!!!!

On the road to Romaniv

Those boys have our hearts, big time.

Nina helping wash hands 🙂

Today I got to hold Andrei, one of the most active boys, on my lap for a bit. I figured out if I tied a long piece of cloth to a plastic slinky it would catch his attention and he would sit still for a moment. He let me hold him, rub his head, and hum into his ear for almost 10 minutes while he bounced the slinky up and down, up and down. Wow. That may not seem like much, but for a boy who never ever stops- always stimming, always shrieking, always running- this was big. For a moment he was at peace. For a moment his brain was developing a little further up the brainstem. For a moment prayers were whispered in his ear. Magical.

There’s so much more I could share. So many memories made, so many funny and embarrassing stories…it’s rather humiliating to live here, FYI. We make fools of ourselves all the time, everywhere. 🙂

Off to go make some embarrassing Russian blunders!

Just know that life is good, very good. It’s not all sunshine and roses and some days we struggle, but we have not one speck of doubt that we are exactly where God wants us to be. Things are quite crazy in Ukraine right now. We have no idea how it will all play out with the current government and the wishes of the people. Ukraine is at a very critical point in its history and we are here for such a time as this. It’s no surprise to God that we arrived right at the birth of a revolution. Who knows why…only God. But we do know that there is purpose in it and we don’t plan on missing out on that purpose.

Would you pray with us for Ukraine? This place and these people have grabbed our hearts. We’ve only made Ukraine our home for a short month, but we are all in. These are our people. Please pray that God has His way in Ukraine and that His Kingdom will come here and now. Pray that many, many hearts are turned toward Him during this unstable time.

Thank you, friends! Thank you for your love and encouragement this first month. It has been awesome to journey with you!

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Happy Thanksgiving (a day late)!

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