An Update on the Littles!

You’ve been asking and wondering, so I won’t leave you in anticipation any longer.

Everyone’s been asking, “How are the Littles???”

(You can also read about them here: http://wideawakefamily.com/2014/07/04/it-just-keeps-getting-better/)

Okay, you’ve twisted my arm. I guess I can spare a few to chat about the sweetest little boys you ever did see. 😉

The Littles are doing really well. I’ll tell you that it was obvious to us right away that they looked physically healthier. A small church here in Zhytomyr that does great orphan care here in our region went to Romaniv while we were in Lviv. They also saw the need for more nannies and donated money to hire another nanny for the Littles! With our forces combined, we now have a nanny with the Littles 7 days a week from 7am-7pm. This is HUGE. How can they not improve?? Impossible.

Jed and I go to Romaniv twice a week now. We go on Friday with the team, like usual, but we also go on Tuesdays. Our dream is to form another Isolation Hall team for Tuesdays, but we just don’t have the manpower for it right now. There is a church from another city that has joined MTU at Romaniv on Fridays for years. They bring a group to Romaniv on Tuesdays as well, and they mostly work with the older boys. We are so thankful for them! They are absolutely fabulous people. So, for the last two weeks, while they work with the older boys, Jed and I have taken aside a couple of our Isolation Boys to work with them more individually. In the group setting on Fridays, it’s really difficult to connect well with each individual boy. We are really excited about this time on Tuesdays to observe and connect with boys more strategically.

Yesterday I got to spend some very quality time with “Little #1” (the bigger of the two) and one of our nannies. The other Little was with the orphanage nurses, so I didn’t get to interact with him. The time was awesome! Our friend Alosha came along to translate and I got to talk with the nanny very freely about the boys and their care. We discussed feeding progress and difficulties and I learned that it takes her over an hour to feed the boys at each meal. Little #1 eats well and is improving his feeding skills with the spoon (yay!), but #2’s reflux is still a big problem. Thank The Lord we have those nannies! The other nannies do not have nearly that amount of time to spend feeding just two boys. Our nannies are able to feed them slowly enough that they finally hold down 100% of every meal. WOOHOO! They are not losing more weight, but are now maintaining. The next step will be working toward weight gain.

I got to work with Little #1 on the floor, showing the nanny how to do some stretches and exercises with him. I was amazed to see that he is now able to briefly lift his head while lying on his tummy! This is huge. I can tell that our nannies really work with the boys and want them to grow and improve.

I think the biggest and best thing that I noticed during my time with him was the change in his socialization. These boys get 2 to 1 attention all day long and IT SHOWS. He would turn to look for his nanny when she spoke. She reported that the boys each cry when she is giving attention to the other one. THIS IS GREAT! These are Littles who were silent when they arrived at Romaniv. They weren’t silent because they had no needs. They were silent because they had learned that crying got them nowhere. There would not be a response, so why cry out? A silent orphanage is not a good sign. It is healthy and right that children should cry out or call out when they have a need. I was ecstatic to hear that the boys cry for their nanny. Woot! My heart was full to hear her talk about their likes and dislikes. She described how Little #1 reaches for his mobile that we brought him before we left in August. She reported that he loves it, but his greatest love is going for walks outside. Every day the boys get to go out for a walk. Every day!!!! She laughed as she described how all the orphanage staff from maintenance men to cooks have to stop and ooh and aaah over the Littles when they see them outside. Of course, a family is their very best option, but if that can not be at this time, then we will work with what is possible. I’m so thankful this is possible.

Praise God. Praise God that He made a way for these two lives to be saved. Praise God that he put a dream to help our Boys in the heart of a 13-year-old boy all the way back in Oregon. Praise God for the church here in Zhytomyr that also saw the need and joined in to help. Praise God for nannies who truly love our Boys. Praise God that we have the funds to continue this care for 4 more months.

There is so much need at Romaniv. There is so much injustice and sadness. The need can be overwhelming and suffocating, but yesterday I got to see a glimmer of things to come. There is one room in that building where joy abounds. May it continue and spread and grow like wildfire. May God grant us abundant wisdom beyond ourselves to know what steps come next. Seventy-eight other boys sit and wait day after day for their turn. The same God who saw the Littles and made a way for them will make a way for the rest. We are confident of that!

P.S. We will share more about our work at Romaniv in our September newsletter. If you would like to receive our newsletters in your inbox you can subscribe here!

P.P.S. Sorry about the lack of pictures. We’re finishing up some discussions about posting pics of the Boys. I’ll post more as soon as I can!

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Big News: A Wide Awake Nanny!

Oh guys, today was a good day.  I think you’re going to be pretty excited about today.  I know I’m excited.  Maybe that’s why it’s 12:52am and I’m still awake and just crazy enough to start writing a blog post.  Forgive the late-night typos and the lack of pictures, this news just can’t wait.

About a month ago I shared with you about our two newest additions to the Isolation Building.  I wrote about it here: http://wideawakefamily.com/2014/07/04/it-just-keeps-getting-better/  Our two new little guys (the “Littles”) are teeny tiny and we knew they would need a lot of extra support to be able to thrive.  Right before we left for camp in July we brought a bunch of supplies to Romaniv to help the nannies care for them more easily.  We left for camp unsure of how they would do at Romaniv, in their new environment, but hopeful.

Last Friday we finally made it back to Romaniv after three awesome weeks at camp.  Oh my, it felt amazing to be back with all our boys.  They were visibly happy to see us (which was a blessing all on it’s own!) and we were ecstatic to be back with them.  We missed those faces!

We could see right away that the Littles have not been thriving.  I don’t fault the institution, the nannies in the Isolation Building genuinely do care about them and do their best to meet their needs.  I fault a system that sets people up for failure.  Simply put, there is no way it is possible for 2 nannies to give 22 boys with severe disabilities the care they desperately need.  Once you add the needs of the Littles to all the others it becomes over-the-top impossible.  The Littles are still learning to eat from a spoon instead of only by bottle.  Bravo nannies for trying to teach them to take food from a spoon!  They are unable to walk, and one of them is unable to even sit, but who has the time to help them weight bear and learn to crawl and learn to grasp toys and learn to interact with their environment?  With a building full of other boys who don’t understand personal space or boundaries or how to be gentle with “babies” , how do you keep these little ones safe without keeping them in their cribs all day long?  I don’t fault the nannies.  I’m not at all sure how I would do different if I were in their shoes.

The honest truth we saw right away is that there is no way these boys could thrive without a big intervention.

So, we went home last Friday and asked God how Wide Awake could or should intervene.

The thing is, we will be at a language intensive for the next bit and won’t be able to be at Romaniv for 3 weeks.  We couldn’t help but feel a desperation to help before we leave, and on Tuesday Jed and I met with the orphanage’s Assistant Director (who came in on his vacation) to see what that help could look like.

I can’t brag enough about this orphanage administration.  They are so open to help and to new ideas and we are beyond thankful for that.  They genuinely care about the boys and they really do want to improve their lives.  They know they need help and they don’t turn it away when it’s offered.  Thanks to those who have served them faithfully for years, we get to see the fruit that is cooperation and trust and encouragement.  It’s awesome.

In our meeting the Assistant Director was super open to our ideas.  He said “You know our boys.  If you have ideas to make their lives better we will do our best to help you reach those goals.”  Praise God.

We presented the idea of Wide Awake International hiring an extra nanny to care specifically for the Littles for the next three weeks while we are away.  The purpose of the nanny would be:

1.  To feed the boys the way they need to be fed so that they are able to keep down the nutrition they work so hard to take in.  They both have reflux and one of them is still very lacking in the oral skills needed to eat safely from a spoon.  Feeding them properly takes a long time and the regular nannies just don’t have that time with their normal workload.

2.  To provide therapeutic interventions that will help the boys build strength and motor skills- both gross and fine.  They need to bear weight on their legs and arms.  They need to learn to crawl.  They need to learn to grasp toys.  They need to have tummy time and neck control….and and and….  🙂  Any attention to their bodies, any play will help them come closer to achieving those goals.

3.  To love.  These little ones live confined to their beds.  Oh how they would thrive with time and attention and physical touch.  Oh how they would thrive with a walk in a stroller, to feel the sun on their faces.  Oh how they would thrive when being held, just for the sake of being held.

The Assistant Director liked the idea.  He presented it to the Director who liked the idea,

Annnnnnddddd….today we met our nanny!  Wahooooooo!

She is a kind, gentle woman who seems to be just the right fit.  We pray it is so.  She was visibly touched when she first met the boys and she was open to all our instructions and ideas.  Today we discussed our ideas for working with the boys’ bodies and how we would like them to be fed.  If she implements these ideas we won’t help but see improvement. Improvement in their overall well-being is inevitable.  🙂

Our Wide Awake nanny will work from 8-5, Monday through Friday (with possible some time on Saturdays) and her main focus will be the Littles.  If they are sleeping she can help out some with the others, but we were very clear about our expectations that she focus on the Littles.  We really want to see how they improve and how they respond to this care, so as much as we love all our other boys, we need our nanny to be pretty focused.  The Little’s room is like the ICU of Romaniv.  Yes, all the other patients in a hospital need care, but the ones in ICU need special attention for some time.  So it is with them.

Want to know something really awesome that’s like icing on the cake?  There’s this awesome kid in Portland, Oregon.  His name is Athen.  God really gave Athen a big heart for our Boys. He loves them and for the past several months he’s been working hard to raise money to help them.  He’s done a pancake breakfast and raffles and t-shirt sales.  He made bracelets and sold them during school lunch.  He worked hard.  On Monday, the day before Jed and I met at Romaniv to present our idea about the nanny, Athen gave us his total from his fundraisers:  $820.  SHUT UP!!!!!  So, not only did we have a really cool idea to present to the orphanage administration, but we had a big chunk of money to pay the bill for the idea (plus some!).  Too stinkin’ awesome.  Really.

When we get back from our language course we will see how it went with our nanny and at that point we will talk with the directors about a more long-term plan for improving the Littles’ health and well-being.  The rest of the money Athen raised will be put to good use at that time.  I’m confident of that!

So, there you have it!  Now is that good news or what?  How amazing that God sees and He knows our Littles.  He loves them so much that He moved the heart of a boy across the world who didn’t even know them to work his tail off so they could have a nanny just for them.  He loves them so much that He opened the hearts of the Directors to come to work on their vacation to find a nanny and sign papers and talk business and money and schedules.  He loves them so much that He moved the heart of a kind woman to love them and serve them for these next three weeks.

Oh how He loves us!  Woohoooooooo!

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It Just Keeps Getting Better

Once upon a time, four years ago, I happened upon a blog of an adoptive mom who had just returned from Ukraine with her two new daughters, both with special needs.  That night, sitting on the couch with my laptop and cup of coffee, my life was changed.  Our lives were changed.

Tears streamed down my face that night as I read every post on the adoption blog.  That night I learned about life in Ukraine for orphans with disabilities.  A whole world was opened to me that I hadn’t even known existed.  I learned about school-age children, the size of infants, living their lives bedridden in their cribs.  I learned about mental institutions in rural villages that house the disabled- hidden from the rest of the world. I read for hours that night.  One blog led to another led to a website that led to another site.  My heart was broken and I knew something big was happening.  God meant for Jed and I to do something about this issue and these children, and He was serious about it.

Now, four years later, I’m in Ukraine, sitting on my bed with my laptop and my cup of coffee, realizing just how serious God was that night.  Yeah, He wasn’t messing around.  🙂

All along the journey that began that fateful night, God has been growing and refining the dreams He’s given us for orphans with disabilities here in Ukraine.  We knew then, and we know now that He has called us here with a specific focus on bedridden children.  That is a population of orphans that is extremely difficult to reach, but God has been very clear that they are our people.  They are the ones we are to fight for.  Of course, we are absolutely in love with many, many people with disabilities here that are not confined to their beds.  The big vision of Wide Awake includes varying levels of ability, but we knew then and we know now that God has a special plan for us that involves bedridden children.

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The big question has always been “How will we gain access to the bedridden children?”  Those children are generally more hidden away and it’s difficult for outsiders to work with them at all.  Perhaps orphanage directors are afraid, maybe they are protective…we will probably never fully understand the reasons.  We have just known that it would be up to God to bring those children across our path.  After all, it’s not like we can just walk into any old orphanage and ask to be shown to the crib section.  Ha!  Access to medically fragile kids only comes with relationship and trust.  Those things take time, so we have not been in a hurry.

But God.

Last week our team arrived at Romaniv and learned that two new little boys had been transferred to our Isolation Building from the baby house orphanage.  When Jed saw them for the first time his heart skipped a beat (or two).  They are both five years old and the size of infants.  They are bedridden and have spent their whole lives thus far in their cribs.  They are exactly our target population.  For these boys and others just like them, we have sold everything and moved across the globe.  After months (actually years!) of wondering how we would gain access to children like these, they have literally been dropped in our laps.  We didn’t even have to find them.  They were brought to us! I still can’t believe it.

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 Mission to Ukraine has been faithfully serving at Romaniv for five years.  Over those five years, they have loved and given and loved and given some more.  They have brought Jesus there and His light and love have changed everything.  It is not the same place it once was.  The staff are not the same.  The Directors are not the same.  The boys are definitely not the same!  Because of MTU’s incredible faithfulness, we now reap the harvest.  We are standing on the shoulders of giants.  Because of the amazing work they’ve done over the years, we have full access to our boys in the Isolation Room.  We can visit any time we want.  We can take the boys to the Sensory Room.  We can try new things and interact intentionally with each boy.  The Directors welcome us whenever we can come and invite us to even come more often.  It’s a situation we could only ever dream about.

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Now we have new boys who are completely bedridden and we have full access to them.  We even got to visit on Tuesday and talk with the staff about some of their biggest concerns about caring for these new boys!  Today we got to bring them a pack n play so they are not confined to their room every minute of the day.  We got to bring them mobiles for the cribs.  We got to observe their feedings and give input and advice. We get to be actively involved in improving their quality of life and it’s unreal.

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Testing out the new pack n play!

Each one of our boys in the Isolation Building holds a special place in our hearts.  We are learning their likes and dislikes, their habits and cues.  I really can’t express in words how much they mean to us and how great our love is for them.  They are our babies, each one of them.  I can’t even believe we have the honor of knowing them and loving them.  And now we have two more to love.

I guess I just had to share how awesome our God is.  His plans are so perfect.  He is so wise.  He placed us right where He wanted us, knowing all He had in mind.  He brought us here with an impossible-to-reach population in mind and then proceeded to drop them right in our laps.  Incredible.  I can not thank God enough for our dear friends at MTU.  They have paved the way through many hours of love and care, and they loved our boys before we even had a clue of their existence.   We will be forever grateful.  Now to watch and see what God does next!  🙂

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Our little celebrities 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP: A Week in Pictures

Last week was a very special week!  We had a week-long day camp at Romaniv orphanage! For the older, higher functioning boys the staff of Mission to Ukraine does a full-on VBS type camp for them with games, snacks, crafts, and lessons about Jesus.  They had Olympic games, opening and closing ceremonies complete with the Ukrainian flag and National Anthem, and LOADS OF FUN.

Since the doors to Romaniv were open to us all week we just had to take advantage of it and spend some special time with our Boys in Isolation.  Our boys could not handle, nor participate in a camp like the bigger boys, so we decided to spend the week taking small groups of boys aside each day in order to have some more intentional interactions with them.  It was AMAZING.  It was like a dream to be able to be with them one on one, to see them every day, to give them the individual attention they need.  Woohoo!

I shared a small glimpse of each day on the Wide Awake Facebook page, but I know many of you aren’t on FB.  Plus, there were sooooo many wonderful pictures to share- totally deserving of a big fat blog post.  Here you go!  I’m just cutting and pasting the FB blurbs and then you can see the pics of that day following the blurb.  Mmmmk?

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 1: I can’t even express the joy that was today. We decided for the Isolation Room kiddos we would use this week to focus on one-on-one interactions with the boys. So each day we will be taking a group of 5 boys aside and interacting with them more intentionally.

The Directors gave us the use of the sensory room and it was like heaven. Today we heard the first laughs ever (for us) from two of our boys. Big, hearty, belly laughs that we didn’t even know they had inside them. It was like hearing your baby’s first laugh- PURE JOY. These boys are growing and changing. It’s miraculous. Praise God for His love that never fails!!!

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B loves the weighted blanket.

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…and he also loves the ball pit!

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Lesa helped us with the boys on Monday and Tuesday with her 14 year old son Igor. They were awesome. We were so happy to meet them!!

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Sweet S is out of his wheelchair!!!!

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Look at all that eye contact! And a smile!!!!! A few months ago we would have never dreamed smiles like this would be possible from V.

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 2

Today we fell in love… again. 

It started out a bit rough, with miscommunication and WAAAAAY too many boys with high needs in too small of a space. Ha! We really want the Sensory Room to be a safe place, and boys were stressed and self-harming, so we had to act fast. We switched boys in and out till we has the right mix, and then had a super great time.

Yuroslav, oh sweet boy. He rarely joins us on our Friday visits, content to sit outside in the hall calling out “Mama! Papa!” every so often and sucking his thumb. Today we learned he is strong and he LOVES to play ball. It’s awesome to have the time to connect with the harder-to-reach boys. We can observe them closely and try different ways to make that human connection.

Two days down, three more to go!

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Misha is blind and he loves music. He ADORES music.

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Did I mention music makes him very happy? 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 3: 
Today was interesting and different and goooood. When we arrived, we learned it was “bath day”. We didn’t know, since we never go there on Wednesdays. So, we first waited for baths to be done. It was pouring down rain outside and when we asked the caregivers if we could take a few boys to the other building to the Sensory Room after bath time they WERE NOT having it.  So, we winged it! 

We brought all the boys together and basically did what we normally do on Fridays. At first the caregivers said we could only have one hour with them because they needed to clip their nails and such (remember, it’s Bath Day), but once we got going they relaxed and let stay for the whole time. 

There was some great connection time with several of the boys. Zhenya even fell asleep in my lap! Happy sigh…  We got to connect with a caregiver we had never met before and ease her load for a couple of hours. All in all it was a very sweet time. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Pray we have a dry day tomorrow so we can visit the Sensory Room again! Thanks  

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Christina and Maks got to come help on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. This was Maks’ first time to Romaniv. Thank you dear friends!

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Zhenya loves a good cuddle. 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 4: 
Today was a day of hopes fulfilled, and dreams dreamed.  

The sun was out so we got to take a few boys to the Sensory Room! There were 4 boys in particular we were hoping to work with today and lucky us, the caregivers were like “Go for it! Take whoever you want! Take them all!” Ha! We took our 4, plus sweet Yuroslav and Valera for extra cuteness sake.

We had amazing interactions with two of the boys we brought. They are usually very medicated and they sleep a lot. During our time in the Sensory Room they were alive! They smiled and giggled and responded very well. Just what we had hoped for!

The other two boys are always highly medicated and distant. They don’t interact with others at all. Unfortunately we were not able to break through to them today. Their bodies were in the room, but their minds were far away. We have much work to do before we can connect with them in a meaningful way. We dream of that day- the day we truly see who they are. 

We are not discouraged. We are hopeful! We are thankful for an open Director who cares, willing and cooperative caregivers, those who have paved the way for this work. and most of all for a God who is bigger. NO ONE is beyond His reach! One step at a time…

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Misha was not so sure about the swing at first…then promptly fell asleep.

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Valera loves stuffed animals of all kinds. He is so sweet.

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Hahahahahaha

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Orhan does so well with a weighted vest. He is making good gains these days, learning to be less aggressive…one step at a time…

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Z needs to taste everything

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Oooooh it makes noise!

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Tasting the puzzle…

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Leaning in for the cuddle…

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So sweet…

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Ha! Unexpected kiss! Hahaha

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We had hoped to connect with these sweeties, but they are unreachable right now- locked inside themselves. We’re praying for wisdom in how to help them. Pray with us!

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 5:
Today was the end of a wonderful week spent with Our Boys. Almost all the boys got to go outside to spend some time in the sun and it was WONDERFUL. Their faces lit up when they saw the team arrive for another day. Like “You guys are here AGAIN???” It’s awesome to see them begin to walk, scoot, and crawl to the door when we arrive, hoping they get to go out to play for a bit. 

Today after camp all the volunteers, the staff of Mission to Ukraine, and a couple of the orphanage staff went to a park for a picnic. We celebrated the wonderful strides that have been made this past year, and began to dream of the work that is yet to be done.

Our dreams are BIG. We dream of each boy having an occupation- a way to spend his time, a way to contribute to the world around him. We dream of the Boys serving each other in greater ways; we dream of boys learning to read, learning to walk, learning to speak. Mostly we dream of a place for the boys to be where they can know the love of their Father God through the love of a family. I could go on and on. 

One day at a time, one boy at a time, one YES at a time. Thank you for sharing in the journey! Today, wherever you may be, may you live this day Wide Awake- ready for the next YES that lies before you.

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Sergey got to come help on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. I can’t even tell you what a wonderful servant he is. Sergey KNOWS the boys well and he loves them very much. Thank you Seriozha!!!

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Our wonderful Nina got to come on Friday!!! Every single boy loves Nina. She has the biggest heart and such a wonderful, peaceful way with them. Thank you Nina!!!

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At the closing ceremonies. Our hope for Ukraine is in God alone. He knows and He cares. 🙂

Our dear friend Olya, from Kyiv, came to stay with our family Monday through Wednesday so Jed and I could both be at Romaniv those days.  On Thursday I went, and Jed stayed home with the kids, and then on Friday Jed went and I stayed home.  We both really wanted to be at the picnic on Friday, so wonderful Dima, the driver for MTU, drove the kids and me out to Romaniv on Friday to meet the team and go to the picnic together.

Our kids have been longing and dreaming of visiting Romaniv.  They hear about the boys all the time.  They see their pictures almost daily.  These boys have become a huge part of our lives and our kids were dying to meet them in person.  We haven’t gotten permission yet for Addy and Ezra to visit the boys with us on Fridays, but we feel like they are ready (Hava and Seth are too young).  I wasn’t so sure before- I was afraid Addy and Ezra would be frightened, we didn’t know the boys as well.  But they have been asking more and more, so Friday was a good chance to give them a little taste of Romaniv to see what they thought.

Dima drove us to Romaniv and I told the kids if the team wasn’t quite finished and if they were still inside we would ask the caregivers if we could come inside to see the boys just for a minute.  You would have thought we had backstage passes to the concert of a lifetime they were so excited!

When we arrived the team was still cleaning up, so I took the kids to the Isolation building.  They were immediately greeted by the boys who were outside and I was so proud of them!  They looked the boys in their eyes and shook their hands- even Hava and Seth!  They looked a little unsure, but not really afraid.  Then Addy and Ezra came inside the building and got to meet several of the boys inside.  They knew them from the pictures and they were OVER THE MOON to meet them!  You could see they were excited, but also nervous.  I mean, it’s a big sensory experience even for adults, so I thought they did really well.  The boys can look kind of scary, it’s super stinky, but they both really loved it.  They have been begging to go back, so we just need to pray and ask God what He has in store for our kids at Romaniv.  I hope soon they can be joining us regularly.  It’s part of who they were created to be!

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Addy and Seriozha. His face lit up when he saw her. I wonder when he last saw a little girl?

IMG_6491Overall it was a fantastic week.  I can’t even tell you how extraordinarily thankful we are for those who have gone before us.  For years, MTU and several volunteers have faithfully poured in to the boys and the staff at Romaniv.  Without their faithfulness and perseverance we would have never had the week that we did.  The Directors are so open to the help- that is a huge answer to prayer.

There is a lot of work to be done.  There are many boys not pictured here because they were too medicated, or too withdrawn to participate at all.  There are many boys still locked inside themselves.  Our boys still spend the majority of each day tied to their beds because there isn’t enough staff to keep them safe from themselves and others.  Many of them only see the sun when we come on Fridays.  Oh there is so much to be done.  BUT weeks like this remind us of just how far things have come.  God has done the miraculous in Romaniv and He’s not about to stop now.

Praise God for his abounding love for these boys and their caregivers.  Praise God that what was once hidden is now brought to light.  Praise God that He has a hope and a future for each boy, for each person He created.  And praise God we get to partner with him in that!

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Fun in the Sun…THANK YOU!

Oh Romaniv…oh sweet boys.   I wish so much that each of you could visit Our Boys and spend even just a few minutes with them.  I wish I could accurately and fully express just how we feel about them.  They are beyond precious to us.  I remember the very first time Jed and I ever visited there…nervous, excited…never the same.  Never would I have dreamed at that time that we would now be so invested in to these boys.  We are learning about their little quirks, their likes and dislikes, who can eat a banana on his own and who needs help; who will try to eat rocks and grass outside and who will try to escape; who will throw their shoes on the roof of the building and who’s feet are too twisted and misshapen for shoes at all; who needs to be held tightly when overstimulated and who likes to sway…the list goes on and on.  There is so much to learn and we have the time to learn it.  These are the things that matter.  To know and to be known, I’ve never understood the importance of that until this move.

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Our Isolation boys stay inside all day every day.  There are simply not enough caregivers to take them all outside.  All day every day in the same small building with the same hall and same rooms.  No wind in their face, no sun on their skin, no grass between their toes.  They eat in their building and sleep in their building.  It is their whole world.

A few weeks ago we decided to ask the caregivers if we could take the boys outside during our Friday visits.  We weren’t sure if they would allow it, but it never hurts to ask!  Surprisingly they said yes without hesitation.  The only problem was digging up enough shoes and coats for all the boys.  Oy.  Yeah, they were only able to find enough shoes and jackets for 8 of the 21 boys.  We were disappointed that some boys would be excluded, but we still took several of them outside.

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Later that day I posted about the visit on the Wide Awake Facebook page.  I mentioned that there weren’t enough coats and shoes to go around and that people could let us know if they wanted to help with that.  Oh.My.Word.  You guys!!!!  Your generosity blew us away.  Within the next couple of days, $725 was donated to buy shoes and coats for the Boys.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!

We went to Mission to Ukraine (MTU) to discuss how and where to purchase the needed items for the Boys.  They, in turn, contacted the Director at Romaniv and he indicated that they should have enough coats and shoes for all the boys…they just needed to be taken from storage.  So, we are a bit halted right now on buying the items as we try to verify if there are truly enough clothes for everyone and if not, what sizes are needed.  We already know the shoe supply is not adequate.  We’ve got some foot measuring to do.

(Hint: nothing happens quickly in these here parts.  No biggie, we’ve got time.)

In the meantime, we’ve been able to take the boys out every Friday since!  The caregivers have found enough slippers for those who are willing to go outside.  Most of them are broken slippers and don’t stay on worth beans, but at least it’s enough to get them out the door 😉 It’s been warm enough that we haven’t needed jackets, so we have time to work on that issue.

One need that did arise is the need for hats.  Our Boys never see the sun, so you can bet they are as pale as can be,  We realized right away that they needed hats to provide some sun protection while we’re outside.  So, we were able to use a portion of the donated funds to buy hats for the boys!

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A few of our more interactive boys were SO EXCITED!!!  It made us feel so much better to know their little white faces were protected.  The last thing we need is a sunburn to rain on our parade.  🙂

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Thank you to each and every person who donated so graciously.  Each step forward greatly improves their quality of life and we just can’t thank you enough for making it possible.

We’ll keep you posted on the shoe and jacket purchases.  We really need to get some shoes that fasten well so “you know who” can’t chuck them up on the roof of the building quite so easily….ahem….not to name any names…  🙂

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…ahem…

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What? You want me to actually keep this on my head???

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Wishful thinking!

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Maxim stole my camera and took this one 🙂

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Annnnd here’s me begging Maxim to return the camera…haha

If you are interested in donating specifically for the boys at Romaniv, here is a link to their fund.

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On Walking, Smelling, and Celebrity Sighting

Today was so full!  Full of funny moments, full of awholelotta walking, and full of joy.

Here’s just a few moments of note.

1.  Addy and Ezra’s class went on a trip to the local puppet theater today.  We found out just yesterday that kids who wanted to, could go today.  I wondered why we always find these things out at the very last moment.  Then…aha!  I discovered an announcement board outside their classroom!  Yes, I know, it’s been there all along…but when all you see everyday is walls filled with things you don’t understand, it’s hard to know what to pay attention to and really try to decipher, and what isn’t worth your time.  I don’t often have the desire to stand in the school halls with Google Translate at my side, so I usually go with the “if it’s really important they’ll tell me” route.  No more!  I will now be vigilantly watching for new notes on the announcement board.  No more surprise field trips for the Johnson fam!  We will now be well-informed members of society.  (Here’s to hoping at least)

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The wonders you can find on this “Announcement Board”! Look, a spelling word list! Hmmmm I wonder how many of these we’ve missed. Oops.

2.  When I dropped the kids at school this morning their teacher asked me if I wanted to come along on the field trip.  Sure, why not?  She mentioned it was quite a long walk, but if I thought the Littles would be up for it they could come too.  Well, Jed was in Kyiv today, so if I wanted to be there then the Littles would have to buck up and hike along with us.

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I gave Hava and Seth a pep talk about being strong, not crying and whining when we go on the long walk….blah blah blah…”If we whine and cry then Teacher probably won’t invite us on another trip, right?”

I’m happy to report that they did great on the walk.  🙂  It was about a mile walk from the school to the theater.  It was HILARIOUS to be a fly on the wall with Addy’s and Ez’s class.  It’s also funny to learn all the in’s and out’s of school here.  Like, for field trips, there are no permission slips, no planning which parents will drive, and no parents at all!  Their brave teacher just confidently lined up boys in one line and girls in another and headed out on the walk with all of her students.  Along busy streets, and across crosswalks, she walked in the front, trusting the kids would follow.  When school classes cross streets they hold up a red flag so cars will stop.  One kid in the front of the line holds a flag, a kid at the back of the line holds a flag, and the teacher holds a flag.  When crossing a street she just walks on out there, risking life and limb 😉 and stands in the middle of the street for her class to cross. They do this every day when they walk from one building to another for lunch.  Today I got to see it in action.  I tell ya, that teacher is one brave woman.  One woman, taking a whole class on a mile walk through town to a field trip and back.  She totally rocks it.  I wasn’t a ton of help since I had Havalah and Seth, but I tried to keep the stragglers from straggling too far behind.

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3.  I’m a “smeller”.  Smell means a lot to me.  How things smell really matters, I can’t overlook a bad smell with much grace at all.  It’s a struggle.  But, being a “smeller” can also bring a lot of joy!  Good smells make me so happy!  Anyway, I do have a purpose for telling you that.  While walking back to the school today I had such a strange moment.  I smelled a very beloved smell.  I smelled “Mission Trip” smell.

All throughout my teen years I went on mission trips.  I traveled all over the world during high school and college.  God put the world in my heart and I just had to go.  There’s a certain smell I remember from mission trips that I’ve never smelled in the US.  It’s a smell you smell when you’re walking on a city street.  I don’t know what all it entails, but it’s a mixture of gasoline, tires, foreign food cooking…and I don’t know what else.  I love that smell.  To me, that smell means Jesus.  It means being Jesus to the people He’s called you to.  It means going out of your comfort zone and giving your all for His sake.  It means loving people that you don’t understand and doing things you don’t understand, simply because Jesus said to, and it is what you were created for.

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Today I smelled that smell.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I looked around and saw my children walking ahead of me in a line with their class.  I heard the buzzing of Ukrainian/Russian swirling around my ears.  For a moment I thought “Oh my word.  This is really happening.  This is my life.  I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS.”  I was overcome with thankfulness, and completely humbled.  All my life I dreamed of this and now it’s happening. May I never, ever forget what a joy it is to serve Christ in this way.  The last couple of weeks have been hard for me, personally.  My heart needed that smell to remember its purpose.  🙂

4.  Jed got to spend the day in Kyiv with some boys from Romaniv!  MTU took some of the highest functioning boys to see a dolphin show.  Jed got to go along and he had a great time.  I’ll let him tell you about that at another time.  I just have to share a sweet moment that happened on their way home.

Jed texted me as I was cooking dinner and let me know the boys’ bus was stopping at MTU on the way back to Romaniv so the boys could use the bathroom and volunteers could go home.  He asked if I wanted to come say hi.  YES YES YES!!!!!  I hurried the kids to put on their shoes, paused the dinner-making, and flew out the door.

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On their way to the Dolphins!

Oh.My.Word.  Dream come true.  Watching my own kiddos meet some of “Our Boys” was so, so sweet.  The Boys were so curious and kind.  They attempted the kids’ names and shook all their hands.  Valera, our “helper”  (highest functioning boy) in the Isolation Room was there and I was so happy for the kids to meet him!!!  We talk about him all the time.  I feel like “The Boys” have been like some big mystery to our kids.  Now they have faces for some of the names.  Now they see they are real people.  Ezra and Havalah were pretty shy. Seth was curious.  Addy was smitten.  Her eyes were glowing.  It was like a celebrity sighting! As soon as we walked out of the building to head home she said “Mom!  When do I get to start helping at Romaniv???” Soon I hope.  🙂

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McDonalds in Kyiv, complete with balloons!

So, that was today.  There were other small funny moments too, like when I walked into gymnastics to pick up Addy and one mom that I see all the time finally blurted out “Why did you come to Zhytomyr??”  Hahaha!  Like it’s been bugging her all this time and she finally just had to ask.  Hilarious.  Or when the kids were getting ready for bed and Hava and Seth tricked me.  They acted like they had their jammies on, but then on the count of 3 pulled back their covers to nakey little bodies.  Oh they laughed so hard!  Meanwhile Addy died laughing as Ezra screamed over and over at the top of his lungs, “Слава Україні!  Слава Україні!”  (“Glory to Ukraine!  Glory to Ukraine!”)

Is this life for real?

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Yesterday

Today I’m glowing.  I’m basking in yesterday.  Today was a great day, don’t get me wrong, but part of the reason today was so good is because yesterday was simply superb.  It was a day of absolute beauty.  All day I felt God’s smile.  Lovely.

The day started out normal enough with Christina and I heading to Romaniv with the rest of the crew.  But Romaniv.  Oh Romaniv.  We had the BEST time.  Yesterday was hands down my favorite day at Romaniv yet.  No comparison.  It’s hard to say just what made it so special.  I think part of the goodness was that we are simply getting to know the boys more.  We are there consistently and it’s beginning to pay off bit by bit.  We know them all by name, some who are able can recognize us.  We are starting to get into a bit of a rhythm with our little team.  We are learning some of the specific needs of each of the boys and when we are able, we meet those needs.

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The path to some of the best boys on earth

I had the most beautiful moment with one of the boys, Vova.  I’m supposed to save this for our series about Romaniv but I can’t hold it in.  You can read about it twice.  🙂  So Nina brought bubbles yesterday.  That’s the first time we’ve attempted bubbles with the boys.  It was AWESOME!!!!  A few of them loved it!!!  Total success.  Anyway, after playing with bubbles for a bit I decided to take one of the bottles of bubbles and go to the bedrooms to see if some of the boys who don’t come to play would enjoy them at all.  I went into the first room and found one boy asleep on the floor, one boy asleep on the bed, and Vova sitting in his bed rocking back and forth.  He was self-stimulating, banging his hand on his leg repeatedly as he rocked.  I said his name and knelt on the floor below him.  Slowly I started blowing a couple of bubbles.  Instantly he stopped stimming (self-stimulating).  He sat still for a moment and I blew a couple more bubbles.  He remained still and quiet so I kept on blowing, quietly and slowly, more and more bubbles.  Then, after a minute or so Vova slowly reached his hand up and started popping bubbles one by one.  He popped some in the air, a couple on his leg, on his bed.  He noticed the small wet spot left by a popped bubble and rubbed it with his finger.  I spoke softly to him a bit but was mostly just quiet as we played with the bubbles for a while.  After several minutes of fascination with the bubbles, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes.  He looked at me and just kept on looking.  Melt my heart and make it burst all at once!!!  I’ve never had eye contact like this with Vova before.  He is normally distant and doesn’t participate at all in our time on Fridays.  Then there we were, at his bed, looking at each other.  I swear to you he almost smiled.  It was magical.  I felt the smile of God and His presence so strongly in that moment.  I don’t even have words to describe it.  Tears were running down my face as we looked at each other.  Then Vova looked away and I resumed blowing bubbles.

In that moment of connection, I saw Vova in a different light.  Normally I think of him almost as an old man.  He walks unsteadily, legs bent at odd angles, not interacting with anyone. He often shrugs away from touch.  I don’t know if he is verbal at all.  Head shaved and nondescript face, but not yesterday.  I saw him as a young man yesterday.  I feel almost like I had the tiniest glimpse of how God sees Him.  He was beautiful and valuable and precious.  I will never ever forget that time.  It fills my heart with hope for what God has in store.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

Jeremiah 29:11

That verse is for Vova.  That verse is for Misha.  That verse is for Bogdan and Vladik and Valera and Zhenya.  And because we believe that to be true, we have hope.

I got back home from Romaniv, and as I walked around the corner to our house I saw the kids talking to our neighbor!!  Our neighbors are like total mystery people.  We doubted their existence, so rare were the signs of life coming from their home.  Our building is actually made up of 6 “apartments”.  It’s hard to explain and hard to even tell where the different apartments start and end.  Well, finally I met one of our neighbors!  Not only that, but she was nice!  And she has a 2-year-old!  Seth and little Vitaliy played trains while we two Mommies attempted conversation.  We managed to visit for an hour!!  OMG.  HUGE breakthrough!  I could have burst I was so happy to have a neighbor connection with an actual human.  Woot!  Thank you Jesus and thank you Google Translate.

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Getting our crazies out before going into the theater

Then to wrap up the most fantastic day ever, the kids and I (Jed was in Kyiv) went to a concert at our local theater with some friends.  We listened to a local Acapella choir that is famous throughout Ukraine.  It was absolute heaven.  They were beautiful.  I can hardly wait till their next tour.  You guys, it was such a treat.  They sang old traditional Ukrainian songs, songs in Latin, a fun song in English about springtime love, and even an old spiritual that I sang in high school choir!  Now that was a kick.  During the English song Ezra leaned over and said “Mom, this sounds a lot like English!”  “Yes, that’s because it IS English my boy.”  Haha!  They sang a tribute song to “Heavens Hundred”, the people who died on Maidan in February- ordinary people who gave all so their country could have a future.  Everyone stood while they sang, and many people were crying.  It was a moment I’ll not soon forget.  The spirit of the Ukrainian people is astounding.  In the midst of occupation and threat of invasion at our borders, they steal away on a Friday night to partake of beauty and honor their heroes.  At the end of the concert, the singers and the audience cheered “СЛАВА УКРАЇНІ!” (“Glory to Ukraine!”)  You could see the pride in their eyes.

So there you have it; my yesterday.  My heart is full.

Here is a video tribute to the Heavenly Hundred.  The song in this video is the song we heard sung last night.  May God bless Ukraine and may their deaths never be in vain.

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Our Boys: Gathering Time, Part 2

Yay for Friday!!!

I’m really excited for you all to read about what happens at Romaniv on Fridays.  I just returned home from there a couple of hours ago and had the sweetest time.  I feel like God is moving there and we are really able to connect with some of the boys in a way we haven’t been able to before.  It’s so cool.

And, since you came all this way to take a peek at our little old blog, here are a few pictures of our week to reward you for your efforts.

Have a super weekend!

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Girls love a good mohawk

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Preschool at MTU 🙂

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Honing our Ukrainian braiding skillz

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Havalah, aka “Rock and Roll Girl”

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Ez is so handsome in his school uniform!

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A Christmas Miracle: Part 2

To fully grasp the awesomeness, read Part 1 here.

On Christmas morning Jed and our friend Oleg headed over to Pastor Pavel’s office to start working on the invitation letter.  The goal was to get that letter written and submitted to the Ministry of Culture before December 31st so our letter *hopefully* wouldn’t end up on the bottom of someone’s stack once the offices opened back up after the New Year.  Like I said before, the Ministry of Culture “generally” takes about 3-4 weeks to write their letter of approval, and January is FULL of holidays in Ukraine.  New Year is the big deal here, then they celebrate Christmas on January 7th, then there is some other kind of celebration on the 13th…so time was not really on our side.

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Havalah turned 5! (She liked her present) 🙂

Jed and Oleg sat down with Pavel and got started on the letter.  Then Pavel remembered he had a friend at the Ministry of Culture.  “Let’s call him and make sure we’re doing this right.”

Well, he called up his friend and the friend told them to just come on over right then and he would help with the letter.  In Ukraine, if you get an invite from a government office to “just come on over” you better snatch it right up because it might never come again!  😉

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Christmas Eve program at a church in Zhitomir

They got in the car right then and drove over to the office.  Remember this is the office where our invitation letter would be submitted for approval (which could then take several weeks).  Pavel’s friend proceeded to help them rewrite the letter to make it worded the best way possible and then decided to just write the approval letter right there and then.  I mean, they were sitting right there…why not?  HA!  He wanted to make sure he got it all right so he called in the man who provides policy clarification for the Zhitomir region.  Every region interprets the laws differently here, so this guy is key to our visa success.  Policy-clarification guy comes over and helps them finish the letter of approval.  While that’s being written he suggests they just write all the letters we’ll need when we come back from getting our visas.  Remember once we leave the country to get our visas and return to Ukraine we have 45 days to “register” with the local offices.  That registration includes lotsandlotsandlots of documents.  Well, Pavel’s friend just sat right down and proceeded to write every single document for our registration that could be made ahead of time.  WHAT THE WHAT???????????  I’m gonna estimate that that act right there saved us approximately 57 trips to the office + 58 hours of headache.  Jed was sitting in that office holding back tears, astounded at the goodness of God.

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Once all the letters were written and stamped Pavel’s friend said he would hand-deliver them to the lady in the office who gives the final approval.  “Otherwise it may take weeks.  I’ll just ask her to approve them today.”  He walked out of the room to her office, but she wasn’t available.  No worries, he left the papers with her with her word that she would inform us as soon as they were signed.

All of this took several hours and several cups of tea and coffee in the government office.  Four people spent their whole day going above and beyond to help us.  Our friend Oleg told Jed “This just does not happen.  All the right people being available and in the same place, willing to help is like a one in a million chance in Ukraine.”

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Our biggest blessings

Two days later we got a call that ALL the letters were signed, stamped, approved, and ready to be picked up.  A process that should have taken 3-4 weeks took exactly 3 days.  Not to mention all the documents we’ll need later on that are already done.  That will help us tremendously when we return with our visas!  God’s care for us is astounding.  I don’t even know why we were shocked by this, I mean this has been His way with us along this whole journey.  He has been over-the-top faithful at every point.

This miracle has a second part that is just icing on the cake.  So, way back when, in like August of 2012 some friends and I were advocating for an orphan here in Ukraine named “Heath”.  Remember that?  Heath is now home with his family in Texas (AND I got to meet him in person in Kiev last month!) but during that advocating time I “met” another woman, Sandra,  who was fiercely advocating for Heath.  Funny thing is, she was advocating for him all the way over in Switzerland at the same time as us in Oregon.  We became online friends bound by our mutual love for Heath and the fatherless.  Sandra has been a big encourager to us as we prepared and moved to Ukraine.  One time she mentioned how awesome it would be if we would come to Switzerland at some point to share about Wide Awake at her church.  I thought “Oh yeah, that would be cool, but it’s not like we’d ever just randomly be able to pop on over to Switzerland!

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Heath (now named Boden) and me. This cuddle was one of the highlights of my year…maybe of my life.

Fast forward to this past fall.  Sandra emailed and said that she talked with her pastor, and the leadership of the church was interested in hearing more about Wide Awake and they would pray about supporting us as a church!  We gave them letters describing Wide Awake and they voted to take us on as a ministry to support!  Well, guess what just happens to be in the same city in Switzerland as Sandra and her church?  A UKRAINIAN CONSULATE!  Soooooo, with documents and passports in hand we will head to Switzerland in a couple of weeks to obtain our visas, visit Sandra, and share Wide Awake at her church!  Are you kidding me????  God, you are too ridiculously amazing.  Why are we your favorites?????  😉

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Excited to receive our first piece of mail from dear friends

Did you know that you’re His favorite too?  My dad taught us that we are each God’s favorite.  If there was no one else in the entire world He still would have sent His Son JUST FOR YOU.  Maybe 2013 was a really hard, painful, and trying year for you.  Maybe you ended 2013 feeling forgotten by your Father in Heaven.  Maybe you have no clue what I’m talking about.  Let me just tell you that 2014 is a time for you to discover or re-discover God’s great love for you.  You are His favorite!  You are not forgotten.  Consider the children in Ukraine that He sent us to love.  They lay in cribs, limbs stiff and contorted, lame from lack of use.  Some have never felt the grass on their feet, never felt the sun on their face.  By all appearances, they have been completely forgotten by God.  How could a good God allow that kind of suffering?  Guess what?  He’s not allowing it.  He loves them and cares for them so deeply that He uprooted our family, comfy in our middle-class wealth, and planted us right here to devote our lives to their care.  We are no great gift.  I’m not saying we’re are the answer or that we’re super special, I’m just sharing how we get to be a part of God’s demonstration of love to them.  Each of those is His favorite- NOT forgotten.

You are not forgotten.  God has good plans for you.  All you have to do is say Yes to Him.  Living for yourself will only bring disappointment.  Let 2014 be a year of YES.  You will not regret it.

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Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving (a day late)!

I had a witty post simmering in my brain all about the antics of yesterday. I have a photo diary of potatoes soaking in the bathtub, turkey in its brine on the covered balcony, cornbread for stuffing, and out-of-thisuniverse pumpkin pie vareniki that we created. But I just can’t go there today. It’ll have to wait.
I spent this morning at Romaniv Orphanage for boys and men, and I have so much more to share than turkey wit. I wish so badly that you could have come along with me. I know if you did you would never be the same. No one can be the same after spending time at Romaniv.
We first visited Romaniv in April of 2012. Jed and I, our eyes met as we looked over the room of boys, “Yes, this is what we were created for.”
In May we visited again, looking with different eyes, ones that were wise to the fact that soon these boys would become a part of normal life for us.
Today I returned for the first time since our move and I am wrecked.
These are not just boys in pictures. These are not just sad stories to gain your sympathy. These are Zhenya, Vitalik, Misha, Valera, and Sergei. These are little hands that hold mine and walk the halls and throw balls and build legos. These are little hands and big hands that hit themselves and each other for stimulation. These are faces that smile, and frown, and grimace, and bite; faces that are smooth like a baby and faces that are covered with the scars of self-abuse. These are eyes that light up, eyes that are clever and knowing- even when the mouth can’t speak, eyes that are blind, and eyes that are distant, almost unaware of the other humans around. These are not just another need that is unmet. These are not just another story to make you feel guilty for your wealth.
These are real boys. They are now a very real part of our life. These are “our” boys. And they are beautiful.
One boy, who is now a man is unable to walk, but there is no wheelchair for him. Day after day he lays in a small room in his bed while life passes him by. The caregivers want so much for that to NOT be his life, but what can they do?
As I sat at his bedside and rubbed his back, unable to speak to him in his language my heart broke and melted at the same time. My heart broke for him, that this is his reality, that when I return home to my Jed and my babies he will still be lying there alone. But my heart melted at the same time with the love of the Father. God sees and He knows. God has brought people to Romaniv for such a time as this. This boy, this man, he is not forgotten. God brought Nina, a volunteer for Mission to Ukraine, to his bedside to hold him like a Mommy and feed him a banana. God is on the move in Romaniv, and God is on the move on behalf of the orphans of Ukraine.
So, today I am thankful for the beautiful boys of Romaniv. I’m thankful for the opportunity to love them, hold them, play with them, and look them in the eye. I’m thankful for Nina, who has her own son with special needs at home, and faithfully visits Romaniv each week and is called “Mama” by many. I’m thankful that although the need looks outrageous, and the situations seems impossible, God has made promises and they WILL be fulfilled. These boys are not beyond His grasp, not too far from His reach. The one with the most scars from continually banging his head on the wall is not beyond hope. Each of these boys is known by the Father and He will have His way.
For these boys, and other boys and girls just like them, God asked us to move across the world and be His hands and feet. I’m so, very, very thankful for that. May God have His way in Romaniv and in the lives of the fatherless all across Ukraine. So be it!

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