kimnjed – Page 34 – Wide Awake International

House Hunting in Zhitomir

*If you are a local reader/fan of Wide Awake we would LOVE to see you this Friday night, June 14th at Broadway Coffeehouse, Peru Room #306 at 7:00pm. We’ll be sharing the story and vision of Wide Awake International. It will be a great time to get the big picture of what God is doing. All are welcome! Bring a friend!* I’ve decided to stop apologizing for my lack of posting and complaining about my lame finger. So there. That’s the last you’ll hear of those two things…but I just had to get them out there one more time. I’m turning a new leaf today. Aren’t you glad?

Housing.

House Hunters International Ukraine went pretty well! I spent a few hours with Sveta, our realtor, and saw several places for rent. It was productive and necessary. It gave Sveta a chance to see what we liked and didn’t like in a rental, and it gave me a chance to see what Zhitomir has to offer. One thing I wasn’t anticipating was that our kids would be a major factor in us finding a place to live. When Sveta found out we have 4 kids I thought she was going to have a coronary. Ha! It’s uncommon for people who live in the city to have as many kids as we do, and many landlords don’t want to rent to people with a whole passel o’ kids. Maybe they think we’ll be too noisy. My kids? Noisy? Hehehe….whaaaaaaa…..

Sveta just kept saying (in Russian, or maybe Ukrainian) “Four kids is very difficult!” Oops. 🙂

Who could say no to this cuteness?

We saw some okay flats and a big house for rent. But then we got a brilliant idea, and all credit goes to my smarty Mother-in-Law. 🙂 You see, while in Zhitomir we were staying in a house that a Ukrainian man renovated into a sort of guest house, or hostel for people who come to visit MTU. This owner lives in Israel and his mother manages the house. We really liked the house! It has 3 rooms upstairs and space for a living room downstairs, a pretty open kitchen/dining area, and it’s a house…not 9 stories up! The best part about that particular house is its location. It’s literally a 4-minute walk from there to MTU. Best location ever!!! My oh-so-smart Mother-in-Law, Cindy, suggested we ask if we could rent that house for our first year. Normally it is rented out, a room at a time, and charged by night. But, what if the owner would let us lease it for a year? What if? Why not ask? So, Jed asked Ira, the director of MTU, if she would contact the owner and ask him about us renting it. Now we just wait for an answer.

We would love it if you would pray with us that God would provide the perfect house for us, and if it’s that one the owner would say yes right away! Rentals aren’t usually agreed upon in advance, so this would be a truly unique and wonderful situation. It would be so nice to prepare for our move and already have in mind the house we’ll be at. Thank you for praying with us!

So, that’s the skinny on housing. 🙂 On another note, we have been blown away by the generosity of donors in the last couple of days. Oh, My. Word. Seriously! We have gotten big donations from people we don’t even know personally!!! Incredible!!! Oh the ugly cry, I couldn’t hold it back. Generous supporters, if you are reading this, please know we are so incredibly humbled and blessed. Thank you doesn’t seem adequate. But, THANK YOU anyway. THANK YOU!!!!

“Mommy, take a picture of Seth Kitty!”

One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. God is making the path straight. Wahooooo!!!!

kimnjed June 12, 2013 4

The KidsThe MoveYes

The Necessary.

We’re really alive! Finger still intact, though angry as can be when required to type, hence the lack of posts. It turns out pointer fingers are super useful. I’ll definitely appreciate mine more in the future.

Although I haven’t been able to type it out, my brain has been spinning a mile a minute since we landed back on US soil. The trip was so good. When people ask the question “How was your trip?” I say “Good, and necessary.” It was oh so necessary, in ways we couldn’t have anticipated before going. I thought it would be necessary in the scheme of houses, visas, and job descriptions, and while all those things were discussed and worked on, they aren’t the necessary I’m talking about. This trip was another leg in the Journey of Learning to Say Yes.

Kiev was great. Super fun, great connections, awesome time with old friends- going deeper and getting stronger. Kiev was comfy, cozy, and superb.

Zhitomir was good too…and Zhitomir was reality. Necessary reality.

We LOVE Mission to Ukraine (MTU). We love the staff, we love the vision, we love the people being served. We are more excited than ever to join them in their ministry. Jed could be busy there 24/7. His professional skills are so right on for the areas they have need. My heart was bursting to think of how I get to help and how our kids get to be involved and learn to serve. We are totally and completely more excited than ever for MTU. YAY!

Honestly though, I struggled in Zhitomir. Nothing personal to the city or the people, I was struggling with doubt, fear, worry as we walked the streets of Zhitomir, and it was all personal to me.

“What are we doing??? This is crazy.”

“Our lives are PERFECT right now and we’re leaving it all for the unknown. Why???”

“We’re taking our kids away from their cousins, their friends, their church. They’re going to hate us!”

And on, and on, and on. Being the verbal processor that I am, Jed got quite the earful. THIS was the necessary of this trip I wasn’t expecting. I had to come around to the fact that although our life right now is the absolute best it’s ever been, the biggest reason for that is because we are smack dab in the will of God. Yes, there will be challenges about moving to Ukraine. No, it will not be easy. Yes, there are some major sacrifices, but it will be the best because we will be smack dab in the will of our Loving Father. After I got over myself and the lies, fear, doubt, blah blah blah, I could truly enjoy our time in Zhitomir.

Look how far The Lord has brought us! Oh my, the joy in the journey really increases when you die to yourself a bit more. Ha!

Today my kids and their friend Milaey decided to pick various herbs and plants from the yard and set up a stand on the porch to sell to passerby’s. Great idea, except for the fact that we live on an extremely quiet, out of the way street. People don’t just meander down our street for the fun of it. It’s almost like a ghost town, except for us. 🙂 I didn’t want to discourage them, so I just warned them it might be a bit hard to get customers, but they were welcome to try!

They set to work gathering, pricing, making signs. Soon they were out on the corner yelling to the empty street about their wares. “We’ve got carrots, we’ve got herbs, we’ve got stuff to make your house smell good!” They chanted over and over, then cheered like crazy when a random car would drive by every 7 minutes or so.

After a bit they came in, discouraged at the lack of business. Then Milaey suggested they pray and ask God to bring them a customer. I certainly didn’t have the faith I should have had (hehe), but was so proud of Milaey for suggesting it! They prayed, and I kid you not, like 5 minutes later a car stopped at the sale! A random lady got out and said “I never drive on this street, but I thought I’d try a shortcut today.” Seriously??? The kids were FREAKING OUT. They hovered, they talked up their goods, and the kindest lady in town walked away with a ziplock baggie full of hedge trimmings. God is so faithful. He cares about what’s important to us.

I got to talk with the kids about the goodness of God, they were thankful, elated, and back to sign-holding and chanting. Guess what? Not one other car stopped the rest of the day. Addy and Ezra came inside an hour later crying (sobbing) about their “failure sale”.

“Why did no one come? It was important to us and no one cared!”

How quickly they forgot the Lord’s provision. How quickly they forgot the joy in the answered prayer, the delight in His care for them. He provided a miraculous customer right when they asked!

Yep, that was me in Zhitomir. Totally forgetting what God did earlier. Totally feeling forgotten, wondering if God cared. Seriously????? He’s done AMAZING things. He’s gone above and beyond for our family to pave the way and make it straight. Seriously. Once I got my head and heart on straight, stopped looking at the “yikes” and looking at all He has done and promises TO DO things got a whoooooooole lot better.

Lesson learned for me, and the kids.

Next post will be more details about our time in Zhitomir. Many of you have been asking and I’m sooooo sorry for the delay. I blame it on my immersion blender skills (or lack thereof).

kimnjed June 6, 2013 1

EncouragementLoss

Pain:

From Jed

After leaving MTU today, I just had to walk.

My brain was going a mile a minute.

I just finished teaching a seminar on Vicarious Trauma (the cumulative impact of hearing many traumatic events in the lives of the people you help). It is a serious issue for those who work in the Helping Profession.

I also attended the funeral of a deeply loved pastor who was integral in the work MTU started throughout the Zhitomir region.

As I walked through my new city, the place we will call home for at least the first year of our lives in Ukraine,
I was trying to reconcile a part of the training I deliberately skipped over.

I hadn’t planned to skip this part, in fact, I intended to spend some time on this theme. But as I looked out at the teachers, counselors, therapists, nurses, and staff I could not tell them that a sign of Vicarious Trauma was connected to their ability to see the world as a good and safe place for themselves and those they love.

Now, before I get too far down this road, I believe this world is full of amazingly good things and good people and safe families and safe environments.

In the US, our biggest business is pain avoidance. We prescribe, self-medicate, anesthetize and pasteurize our lives from as many problems and as much pain as possible.

At the drop of a hat we start to blame God, country and anything around us when our lives become anything less than ideal. I’m speaking at myself here.

How could I tell these people, who not only see so much suffering, but experience it too, that the world is a good and safe place and you have a serious problem if you think otherwise? They would laugh me out of the room.

I wasn’t ready to talk about this part of Compassion Fatigue (aka, Vicarious Trauma).

I needed to go for a walk and think about all I have been experiencing on this trip to Ukraine.

“God, help me to understand this culture and people. Help me to see the world through their eyes and support them as they work with the most vulnerable in their community.”

After a cup of coffee and some quiet time I had a clear thought. A sign of Vicarious Trauma fatigue is the inability to see the good that is around us and trust people in our lives. It’s a slight change from the “everything’s coming up roses” worldview that is easy to have when you are hiding behind a shit-ton of missiles and medication.

Jesus came announcing the Kingdom of Heaven was at hand. The right to rule over sickness, death, sin and darkness had begun its reign on earth.

He didn’t stand afar off and point at all that was wrong, Christ came and made wrong things right. He became one of us and took the full weight of all our bad so we could walk in freedom and goodness and life. See Isaiah 53:5.

As helpers, our job is to be like Jesus. To stand in the places where the pain is most severe and cry out for God’s Kingdom to come and when we see healing and wholeness and life and freedom we celebrate it as a sign of God’s Kingdom here on earth.

We must take care of ourselves so we can serve from the overflow of God’s presence and power in our lives.

I had the honor of speaking at MTU’s morning devotions and I shared from Mark 7:31-37 as model of care for those who work in the helps field.

Read the passage and think of Jesus’ actions more like sign language than a mystical ritual.

Jesus honors this man by taking him aside. He tells him, through sign language, that he is going to heal his ears and speaking. He looks up to the Father, so the deaf man would know where the healing was coming from.

When it’s all said and done the entire community said, “Jesus does all things well!” Or translate, He does all things completely.

Our work as helpers is usually partial healing: bandaging, counseling, listening, soothing, containing, informing and befriending. But, as Christ followers, we can appeal to His finishing work and say;

“Father in Heaven, make your name great!

Just like it is in Heaven, let it be here on earth; In my life and in the families and people I serve.

Give us this day, everything we need to live lives of freedom in you.

Let us be forgivers, people who give out love and kindness freely and without reservation, as we have been forgiven and loved much.

Papa, let me learn the lessons I need to learn without going through the fires of temptation. Don’t let me be so self-focused that I miss your sweet comfort that guides me in the way of peace.

You take all the glory today and I will bathe in the warmth of I life lived near your heart.

Amen.”

kimnjed May 24, 2013 4

The MoveThing I Like

Warm Buses and Warm Hearts…hehehe

It’s a well-known fact among my real-life friends and fam that I’m an extra warm-blooded person. I rarely wear a coat, and Jed constantly bemoans the fact that I’m passing that trait on to our kids. Who needs a jacket? They’re so bulky! I’d much rather run from the house to the car to the store and back, than to be suffocated by a bulky jacket. Don’t even get me started on the suffocation factor of scarves. I get it that they’re cute, a little pop of color for an otherwise bland outfit, but am I the only one who can’t handle the strangulation? Just the thought of a turtleneck makes me feel like my airway is about to close.

All that to say, warm weather and lack of airflow is a major downfall to my suitability as an expat. If you’ve ever traveled overseas you know what I mean. Think warm bus, no windows down, stalled in traffic. I have to talk myself down from the ledge. “You actually won’t suffocate. There is air available, just breathe deeply.”

The vent right above my head…doesn’t work.

Where am I going with this? I have no idea. I just had to talk it out because as I write this we’re on a fairly warm bus headed back to Zhitomir. I’ve been sweating for the past 12 days, and so it continues today. (I’m a Bittner. We sweat.) Anywayssssss….I just needed you to feel my pain for a sec. I feel better now. 🙂

Now, on to more pleasant topics that don’t involve sweat and strangulation.

This past weekend was loads of fun! We drove back to Kiev on Friday afternoon with our friend Oleg who happened to be heading that way. He dropped us at the metro and we headed to the church where they were having a concert to reach the unreached. We took the metro to the stop we knew was closest to the church and then hopped off. It’s like a 20-minute walk from the metro to the church, and Jed, with his bat-like sense of direction, led us straight there without a hitch. What a guy.

Jed promptly filled in on the bass and we got to see lots of people we love. It was a good time.

After the concert, we went home with our friend Sergei. We had the BEST time staying with Sergei and Alyona. Seriously. Being around their kids made us miss our babies something fierce, but we managed. 🙂

Alyona cooked for us and fed us nonstop. Yum. Who am I to complain? Her love language is feeding people, and we’re eaters; a match made in heaven.

On Saturday morning we met Jim and Marianna Peipon (remember Olya and I went with Marianna to visit the baby at the hospital?) at their flat to tag along with them to a picnic. Fun, fun, fun! The picnic was for a coalition for children at risk. Basically, a group of people consisting of Ukrainians, Americans, Russians, and Mexicans, who work with children at risk in various ways around Kiev got together to fellowship and eat together. They welcomed us with open arms and we had a great time. It was so fascinating to hear about what others are doing to help kids and how God led them to Ukraine. We made some new friendships and some good connections. Who knows what God plans to do with those relationships in the future? We are open, and excited to find out. Thank you new friends for making us feel so welcome! We’ll see you again soon with kiddos in tow!

Saturday afternoon and evening we hung out with various friends and laughed a lot.

Sunday, oh I loved Sunday. It started out with Alyona feeding us some more delicious food and ended the same. Hehe

We headed out to church by taxi after the frantic rusharound of your typical Sunday morning. It was hilarious to talk (sign/google translate) with Sergei about how Sunday mornings are the same for families all around the world. “Hurry up! Eat your breakfast! Stop hitting your brother, please. Grrrrr.” Then you get to church “Hallelujah….” Yep. Sunday morning in Ukraine is just like Sunday morning in Salem. Why is that? Hilarious and true. If your Sunday morning isn’t stressful, let me in on your secret. 😉

After a great time at church we joined our friends in their typical Sunday afternoon hangout. Everyone takes the marshrutka to our fave: Puzata Hata! Puzata Hata is a cafeteria-style Ukrainian restaurant. Delish and cheap with plenty of space for hours of chattin’ it up. As our friend Andrei says “Sunday afternoon is for relationship.”

Sunburned…my bad.

After the deliciousness of Puzata Hata we walked for a bit, talking more, till we got to the metro and parted ways. Sergei and Alyona went to go buy their kids a pet mouse (yep, that’s totally not happening at my house) and we went with our friend Elvin to chat more since we won’t see him again before we leave Ukraine.

After that it was home again home again jiggety jig. Alyona fed us some more, and Jed and Sergei drooled over guitars online- just your typical Sunday night when you live with a musician.

Anya and I did this:

I give this past weekend two thumbs way up. We are so blessed to have good friends in Kiev who love us. The feeling is so mutual.

kimnjed May 20, 2013 3

The Move

Pics to Hold You Over

Hi all! Did you miss me? 😉

What a weekend! We spent the weekend in Kiev and had such a refreshing, wonderful time. We will head out bright and early tomorrow morning to take a taxi and a bus back to Zhitomir for meetings at MTU.

This weekend has been a fabulous whirlwind of fun with our Vineyard friends. We stayed with Sergei, the pastor, his wife Alyona and kids Anya and Vanya. They speak about as much English as we do Russian, so it’s been quite the adventure. (Honestly. their English is better than our Russian, but who’s counting?) There’s been a lot of sign language, google translate, and shrugs with laughter.

I’d love to write more, but I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Tomorrow night after we’re done with MTU for the day we’ll have some downtime. I’ll fill you in on all the details then.

Here’s some pics to give you a taste of our weekend fun!

1. Jed joined in on the bass at a concert Friday night. 2. Anya, Olya, and yummy waffles. 3. Aslan is on the move! Hehe 4. Anya and I gettin’ our photo booth on. 5. Sunny walks after delicious Sunday feasting.

kimnjed May 19, 2013 2

Romaniv

Being Human

By Jed:

Have you ever tried to cut back blackberry brush?

If you have, you are already feeling that sense of dread. If you haven’t, imagine fighting off the huge squid on 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

You’ll spend hours fighting a blackberry bush and when you step back it looks like you were sitting on your hands, “Oh, that’s nice Honey. What have you been doing out there all morning?”

Shoulders slumped, you head back out to the fray, hoping to make a dent in the seemingly insurmountable task. Hands bleeding, mud up to your calves, the stench of something that died at the far end of the brambles but you push on.

Though this is a bit of a crass example, there is a similar feeling that must come across the beautiful men and women who faithfully go to Romaniv (an orphanage for boys with special needs) every week. “Am I making any difference?”

I’m just assuming they feel this way some days, cause riding in the van out there yesterday you wouldn’t have known they feel anything but joy. These folks are my heroes.

Kim and I have a favorite place at Romaniv. It’s called the Isolation Room. Most of the boys and men are mobile, though with varying levels of difficulty. I am reticent to show you pictures because it is quite traumatic and I want you to meet them, not just see them.

Let me tell you about Zhenya. If I showed you a picture you would see a quiet boy, drooling and hunched over. With his head down, his eyes would be looking up at you with a precious, but distant smile across his face.

But as the music started to play and I had the honor of cuddling Zhenya, his stiff body softened. As I rubbed his head he leaned into me and fell asleep. He woke up and smiled at me and I looked into his eyes and smiled at him. I prayed Jesus would be near to his heart. That he would feel the love of God. That he would just feel human. I will continue to pray for Zhenya. Will you?

Now I need to tell you about Vova. If you saw him you would see cuts, scrapes and bites all over him. You would see his hands and wrists bleeding and mutilated by years of wounds trying to heal. You would see an old man in a boy-size body. But his scowled face softened as a wonderful nun started to play music. She comes every week. Vova’s posture relaxed, just a little. I crouched next to him and put my arm around him. There was a part of me that felt afraid. I’d like to say I’m in perfect peace at Romaniv, but some moments are harder than others. He got to spend an hour and a half where he didn’t feel the need to self-stim by biting himself.

Our over-the-top “need” for cleanliness and purel puts up a lot of barriers for us folks in the west, but Vova needs to know he is worthy of love and affection. He needs someone brave enough. The amazing people who volunteer weekly to come play with these boys are astounding. Jesus, be near Vova’s heart. Let him feel your love, Father. Holy Spirit bring peace to his mind and body.

Lastly, I must tell you about Misha. Last year he was the little boy in the corner who was very closed off, self-stimulated by hitting the bridge of his nose and his temple.

A year later he looked much healthier, though he has the same wounds he was more engaged with people. When Betta, the nun, began to play he immediately softened. His face relaxed, with the slightest smile. He swayed side to side with his eyes closed and it was beautiful to see the change in him. Jesus, be near Misha. Father, pour out your love onto Misha. Holy Spirit bring your peace.

The consistent faithfulness of Mission to Ukraine and the volunteers who come every week is making a difference in these boys. They are changing, growing, healing. God’s Kingdom is coming and it is beautiful. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Matt. 5:3

It was our absolute honor to come alongside MTU yesterday and love on the boys and men of Romaniv. The mutual love and excitement in the air was almost tangible. We can’t wait to be weekly participants in this mission of love once we move to Zhitomir.

As we rode home, I marveled at Betta’s smile. She didn’t need to know that what she was doing supported brain development and attachment. She just feels God’s pleasure as she loves His children. Glimpses of the Kingdom of Heaven breaking through in the most unlikely of places.

kimnjed May 19, 2013 5

Wide Awake InternationalYes

It’s Not Nothing

By Jed:

Have you ever tried to move a piano?

Have you ever set out to lift something you have no business trying to move?

You call all your friends, you even grab a neighbor or two. Everyone gets their hands on this huge piece of wood. 1… 2…. 3…

If you got enough helpers you’re thinking, “Wow, we got this! Geez, this thing is dense.” Though the weight is significant and you can tell that you are part of lifting something quite large, it’s not unbearable.

On the other hand, if you only have three other fellas… That pre-war mass of oak, steal and copper is a whole other animal. 1… 2… 3… “Put it down! Put it down!”

You all step back and think, “What did we get ourselves into?” You do a bit of strategizing, come up with your best possible plan, dig deep, get a little angry, and hype yourselves up. You grab that big piece of wood and with every muscle and ounce of strength; you heave that beast out of the house.

Hold that feeling in your mind. The one we’ve all felt right before doing a job we feared would break us. You knew the weight was crazy, we are bending at the knees, stealing ourselves for the pain…

1… 2… 3…

As I landed in Kiev yesterday I started feeling this weight. Not overbearing, just a subtle nagging in the back of my brain. I was mostly sensing God’s pleasure and enjoying the sights and smells as Sergie, Elvin and I headed for the metro to find the closest Puzata Hata. YUM.

It was so nice to sit down and hear what God is doing in Elvin’s life and to hear Sergie’s passion for Ukrainians to know Christ. They are sweet brothers and I’m looking forward to spending time together, playing music and drinking some good beer.

After having a full belly, which is what Puzata Hata means, we dashed off to where I could get on the bus to Zhitomir. “Kim, I’m so close.” I woke up a couple hours later and stumbled off the bus. Right after grabbing my bag, I started looking around for my beautiful bride.

I knew I would see her bright eyes and shining smile if I kept looking around. Then I heard my name through a wide grin and turned around to see Kimber skipping toward me. I am the most blessed man in the world. I am married to a beautiful, confident, and passionate woman who loves God and loves people. She is going to change the world and I get to watch it happen right in front of me.

She dragged my ‘sight-for-sore-eyes’ back to the house we are living at to FaceTime the kids and get cleaned up. “You can’t fall asleep, Jed.”

As we went out for dinner, that nagging feeling started at me again. Hand-in-Hand with my wife, talking about her adventures and what God was speaking and doing and I couldn’t shake it. So, I decided to embrace the feeling and see where it would take me. Let the melancholy sink in and figure out what I was trying to process. All the while, feeling God’s pleasure as I listened to Kim share about the wonderful people she met and all the wisdom they had shared with her.

I fell asleep, holding Kimber and feeling blessed. But, I also just had this sense of weight. “What we are about to do is weighty. It’s costly. It’s real,” I said to myself. This isn’t just a dream off in the distance. This is happening. 1… 2… Zzzzz… I was out cold.

I woke up with Matthew 11 running through my noggin’. “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” I felt like Jesus was saying, “My yoke is easy and light for you, but it’s not nothing. You are joining me in something I hold dearly and is heavy on My heart, Jed.”

I can feel the dense weight of what God is calling us to, but, in faith, I trust that He is carrying the weight.

So, instead of digging deep and hyping myself up, I am sitting here feeling the density of what we are a part of, but I am entrusting the weight of it in the hands of the one who stretched out His arms for the world. He lifted a far heavier piece of wood and I can trust Him. 1… 2… 3…

kimnjed May 17, 2013 3

EncouragementThe MoveYes

Pass the Tissues…

So last night I laid in bed awake till almost 1:00am with a brain that wouldn’t shut off. What was I thinking about, you ask?

-What will we do tomorrow?

-I have to take advantage of every moment. What if none of my contact hopes work out for tomorrow? Will it be a “wasted” day?

-Is Mission to Ukraine (MTU) expecting me to come in tomorrow? Hmmm…I better check in with them first thing.

-There sure are a lot of dogs barking. Kinda makes me feel like I’m in Kosovo. 🙂

-I hope Jed gets to Zhitomir okay on Thursday. He won’t have a phone…how will I know when to meet him at the city center?

-How will I fit all my kids on the tiny marshrutkas they have here in Zhitomir?

-I kind of wish I had ice cream right now.

-How will my kids make friends here?

-Will we be lonely?

-What will we do tomorrow????? Surely God has a plan, right?

Yeah, my mind was spinning and I was kind of worrying…about everything. People tell me all the time that they could never do what we are doing, or getting ready to do. How do we do it? How are we so brave? Hahahahaha! Now you see. 🙂 We are nothing special. Sometimes we look like deer in headlights. We cry (well, not so much “we”, more “me”). We fret. We keep ourselves awake worrying about things we can’t do anything about. But, in the end, we just put one foot in front of the other and praise God He’s not afraid to use cracked, imperfect vessels like you and me to be His hands and feet.

It kind of reminds me of our time fostering. People would always say they could never foster; that it would be too hard to let the babies go after you start to get attached. Let me tell ya, it was too hard. It was impossibly hard. But, God called us to it and He gave us grace for what He called us to. It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like crazy. It doesn’t mean we didn’t ever cry ourselves to sleep at night because of the heartache. It just means that when He calls you HE gives you every single thing you need to accomplish His purposes. And because of that, I would do it all over again in a second.

This is scary. This is wonderful. This is exciting. But trust me; we are not anything special. Talk to our close friends and family. Pass the tissues, ’cause we all got issues. We worry about all the same things you would worry about if you were in our shoes, but we know He will give us every single thing we need to accomplish His purposes. We just need reminders of that every 5 minutes or so.

That truth is not only for us! I don’t know who all is reading this, but I know that God wants to remind someone about this truth today.

He is enough. He will make the way. He will smooth the path. His word does what it sets out to accomplish. He doesn’t expect you to be super strong or super brave or even a little bit perfect. He asks you to be willing, and the rest is up to Him.

Step out! Act on the dreams God has planted in your heart. Tell Him you are willing and watch what He does. Don’t let fear hold you back. Love fully. Live fully. Trust. (I’m preaching to myself today too!)

Isaiah 55:10-13 rocks my world:

“For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares The Lord.

As the heavens are higher than then the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

Oh, but it gets better. Listen to what happens when we trust! This is the best:

“You will go out in joy and be led out in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree (Ha!!! Yesssss!) and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed,”

It is my joy; it is your joy to partner with The Lord in His work.
Trees clapping, hills singing…bring it.

It was sunny, but consider yourself winked at. 🙂

kimnjed May 14, 2013 5

The Move

Steps

Today in 21 Easy Steps:

1. Wake up at Olya’s and head for the metro. Take a marshrutka (mini bus) instead of walking because Addy’s little rolling suitcase I brought doesn’t like Ukrainian sidewalks. 🙂

2. Head down the blue metro line.

3. Switch to the red metro line.

4. Find bus headed to Zhitomir.

5. Hop on the bus and find Dima, fellow Kiev Vineyard friend, headed to Zhitomir as well! Small world.

6. Olya and Dima take care of some planning for summer camps as we head down the road to Zhitomir. Nice multi-tasking! I stare out the window, on the lookout for coniferous trees. Surely they exist in Ukraine, right? In Kiev all you see is leafy trees. I’m an Oregon girl! I need to see some needles on those branches!

7. As we near Zhitomir pine trees start to pop up. It’s a sign! Not only is Zhitomir one of the rainiest cities in Ukraine, but they have coniferous trees! I am at peace.

8. Take a taxi to Mission to Ukraine because I can’t remember exactly how to walk there, and Addy’s suitcase doesn’t like Ukrainian sidewalks, remember?

9. Meet the landlady at Mission to Ukraine, and give MTU staff big hugs. SOOOOOO happy to see their faces again! Sigh….contentment.

10. Walk to the house we will stay in for the next several days while in Zhitomir. We are pleasantly surprised! This is a great place. 🙂

11. Take the marshrutka to the city center to find some food. Hunger calls. We eat borscht and crepes at delicious Celantanos. Again, contentment.

12. Now we have our bearings so we walk back to MTU.

13. Meet realtor, Sveta, at MTU and head upstairs to chat House Hunters International details. Coffee and tea are provided by the fabulous Oksana.

14. Take marshrutka to check out the apartment for rent. Pleasantly surprised yet again! The location isn’t good, but it gave me an idea of what is possible on our budget. We plan to meet the realtor again on Thursday when she has had some time to look around for what we are interested in. Sweet, Christian lady. Yay God!

15. Obligatory stop for ice cream. (Duh.)

16. Take marshrutka back to the city center.

17. Walk from the city center back to our neighborhood because we don’t know what marshrutka will take us closer to home. 🙂

18. Stop at the store for groceries. It’s a small store where everything is behind the counter and you have to ask for whatever you want. Note to self: don’t attempt this store alone. Yikes. 😉

19. Walk back to the house.

20. Skype kids, meet pastor with an extra key, make dinner, start laundry, make contacts for tomorrow, hang laundry to dry, do dishes, and write a blog.

21. Pass out.

I can’t really describe my feelings at being in Zhitomir today, knowing we will live here. I have too many feelings ruminating to be able to accurately describe them, so I’ll wait and try another day. 🙂

All I can say is that I truly can’t believe this is happening.

Happy, excited, freaked out, impatient, dreading, scared, confident, trusting, fretting, content.

All of the above within a 5 minute stretch. Oy. God is good and His love never fails!

kimnjed May 13, 2013 1

The MoveWide Awake International

Flights, Friends, and Beets

Here I am! Back in Ukraine. It feels pretty surreal. I can’t believe it was a year ago that we first stepped foot here. Now, after a year of remembering, dreaming, and loving Ukraine and its people from afar, I’m back. The only thing I’m missing is my family. 🙂

My trip here was fabulous. Really! God took care of me in some pretty sweet ways.For one thing, on my flight to Amsterdam, I had the best seatmates you could ask for! I got to sit with some George Fox University faculty who were taking some students on a trip all over Europe. They know some people I know…small world! I got to hear all about their fun plans for the next 3 weeks and then I got to share Wide Awake with them! It was just like The Lord to make a way for two complete strangers to discuss listening for His voice and saying yes to Him as we fly over the Atlantic on an airplane full of other strangers. What a gift. It almost makes me want to cry it was such an unexpected blessing.

On the next flight, I got to sit next to an awesome Dutch Grandpa with the best giggle EVER. We had so many laughs. I wish I could just tuck him in my pocket for future fun. He was the coolest. How often do you get to belly laugh with a complete stranger when you’re jetlagged like crazy and your feet are swollen like sausages? Good memory for sure. 🙂

My friend Olya met me at the airport. It was sooooo good to see her face in real life- not on a computer screen! We set off on buses, metros, and minibusses and finally ended up at Olya’s flat. I’m so thankful to get to stay with friends!

We rested a bit, I skyped my fam, and chatted with my sis Carli who was watching the kids (technology rocks), and then I began the task of staying awake till a decent hour. Goal: beat jet lag. I was feeling pretty good till everyone was speaking Russian and it was like wonderful white noise lulling me to a nice, cozy state of relaxation….AH! I gotta stay awake! So, we headed out to run some errands. Whew! Jet lag crisis averted.

We got me semi-set up with a phone, chatted in the park, and almost got in trouble over my awe of beets. Hehe

I was seriously in awe of the GINORMOUS beets in the store. Think small cantaloupe. What in the world!?? Hahahaha! I generally detest being “touristy”, but I couldn’t help it. I had to take a pic of the beets. Then we decided to have Olya pose with a beet, and it all went downhill. The security guard at the store was feeling protective of the beets and got pretty upset about me taking pictures, so the beet fun stopped there. 🙂 Good times, good times…

I successfully stayed up till 10:00pm, and managed to sleep off and on till about 5:00am, so I would say jet lag was defeated. We’ll find out as the day goes on. Right now I’m awake and everyone else is asleep. I whisper-skyped Jed and the kids in the bathroom, so all is good.

Thank you all for praying. I appreciate it more than I can say. I’m excited to watch God have His way as He puts His plans into place for the forgotten children of Ukraine. What a joy to play a part.

THANKFUL.

kimnjed May 9, 2013 3