A Matter of Perspective
kimnjed
February 19, 2018
We’re settling into a new state of semi-normal here at the Homestead. Grammy and Papa (Jed’s parents) are still here with us for the next few weeks and OH.MY.WORD. I don’t know what we would be doing if they weren’t here. I can’t even imagine- nor do I want to try! They have been such a huge help and blessing! I’m just not letting myself think past the time when they have to leave…or I might hyperventilate. We’ll cross that bridge later.
Evie is the most peaceful sweet baby. She rarely cries…and maybe that has something to do with the fact that she’s never actually put down. Hello Baby Number 7! But really, she is a great eater, a great sleeper and she is easily consoled. Everyone is in love with Evie and she like balm to our hearts. Vladik and Boris don’t seem terribly interested in her, but they have had zero experience with babies so i’m curious to see if they develop an interest in her as she grows and becomes more interactive.
Boris seems to be settling in again and we are breathing a big sigh of relief. That was a rough one, Folks. We got home from the hospital and it was like we had to start at the beginning all over again, but with a deficit. He was frantic, didn’t know what he wanted, was self-injuring worse than ever before and was just overall struggling with a capital S. We know that transitions are hard for Boris and we know that there is so much going on that he probably doesn’t understand. We can say that we understand why he is struggling, and even empathize, but the moment by moment, day by day of helping him overcome is WOW.HARD.WORK. Many tears have been shed (on my part) and many prayers of patience have been uttered (on Jed’s part). All of Boris’ care falls on Jed as I’m recovering, and Jed has been a total rock star, but never have we needed Jesus more. We are nothing without Him, and sure enough, Jesus is coming through for us. He is giving us wisdom and it seems He is granting Boris some peace. We can see the light! Things are getting better! Thanks for praying. Please keep it up! We need it and Boris needs it. His poor little face is so bruised right now. God, give us wisdom.
Boris likes the pressure of legs on him to help keep him safe ๐
It’s interesting how a change in perspective can really make or break things. Last week, when Boris’ struggles were at their peak, I was so sad and so very frustrated. I was thinking (and this is where I get real honest) “Here we brought home a new baby, this should be the most joyous time and Boris is stealing all the joy! Jed can’t even enjoy Evie because Boris demands every second of his time.” I was struggling with resentment, and in the worst moments, even some regret. But then I started to notice something. Every night Jed fell into bed, exhausted from a day of caregiving and creative thinking and love giving and behavior managing and took little Evie in his arms. I could see how her presence, her sweet baby smells and sounds were bringing healing to Jed’s heart. I sat there and watched the refreshing happen right in front of my eyes. She is like medicine for our weary souls. I’m realizing that God gave us precious Evie for just this moment. He gave us what we didn’t know we would need. Boris isn’t stealing the joy of Evie, Evie is bringing a special joy that our family needs to help us love Boris better. It’s all about perspective. How miraculous that God planned this ahead of time- He knew and planned the exact timing of Boris’ arrival into our family and Evie’s arrival into our family. The timing of both arrivals could seem inconvenient when you look with just human eyes, but the timing is actually quite miraculous. Our God doesn’t miss a thing. We are thankful.
On another note, I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to write about Romaniv for such a long time. The institution has had a quarantine for several weeks (teams are not allowed to visit) and it will extend at least until the end of the month. We have been delivering diapers, but have not been able to visit the boys. I want so badly to be able to give you news on the boys you love so much, but unfortunately, quarantine combined with the end of my pregnancy has made any updates impossible. Hopefully, quarantine will end soon and we can be back in action with our boys! I’ll keep you posted on that.
Happy Monday, All. May our perspectives that need shifting shift today. May we see our circumstances in the light of Jesus’ love and in light of eternity. Jesus is worth it all.
BeLOVE[d]
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My third is one of those For Such A Time As This babies. Iโd waited on his arrival for years and then felt crushed under the other demands of life when he finally debuted but holding him was like God holding me. Prayers for this transition. ๐
Three thoughts as I read this:
1) I know you said that Vladik and Boris don’t have much interest in Evie but when I saw that first picture, it made me cry. I realize it may not be a true depiction of what actually is right now but as I saw it all I could see was healing, redemption and transformation. I believe that Evie is God’s gift to Vladik (and your whole family of course!) and that God is going to use her to teach Vladik that fierce, protective love that a big brother has for his tiny, helpless baby sister. The kind of love that had been stolen from him and seems impossible due to his history. God will continue to work miracles in Vladik’s heart and I believe that Evie will play a very important role in all that God is going to do.
2) Looks like you are raising another beautiful mom-of-many in Addy! Caring for two children and reading a book all at the same time – impressive ๐
3) Re. God’s ways/timing. He knows. He always knows. And there is nothing more comforting than when we are able to see His hand in the hard and know that He’s got this. He’s got you.
Keep your eyes on Jesus. He is paving way before you, one painful, beautiful step at a time.
“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3)
Your transparency in sharing brings such tears to my heart! I know God is working preparing my heart โค๏ธ! I love watching how Love is transforming all who are watching! You both know God has always put littles and big kids in my path! I am a bus ๐ driver now! It brings back many memories of our bus trip to camp…… I have the privilege of loving and impacting the students who ride on route 10 bus in Silverton. God gives us just what we need when we need it!
I love you all and if itโs in Godโs plan I will come to visit ! God bless!
I have followed your family and ministry through facebook for several years now… I cried, i rejoiced, I prayed, I was amazed and touched to see what you have been doing for the boys and for the Lord.
Today’s “message” has touched my heart in a way I didn’t expect. Your thought on “a matter of perspective” wow. Just wow… God knew I needed to hear this message for some of my own healing.
I am not saying that all your other fb updates or journal entries aren’t “as good or as important” but for me, today’s entry was the best! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and God’s revelation. My heart so needed this.
May God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry!
Oooh… i love how God works and i feel so privileged everytime you choose to share your heart and life. i get to see God in action through your life and just as Evie is a balm for you all, your sharing is an encouragement to me. Know that i am praying for you all, always.