Yesterday we received some FANTASTIC news!

Three more of our precious boys were confirmed AVAILABLE for adoption!!!!

I can’t even wait to introduce them to you.  Please help us find their families!

So without further ado…

*The boys have been given alias names to protect their identity*

Meet Ben!

Do you recognize this little munchkin?  Yes!  He is one of our “Littles”!  Both of our Littles are officially available for adoption!  Ben is the littlest of the littles and needs a family urgently.  He is failing to thrive, and truthfully he will never thrive in an institutional environment (actually, I don’t know of anyone who could).  His health is very fragile and he just can’t seem to gain weight.

The Littles together, shortly after their transfer to the institution

Ben is 5 years old and he came to the institution in July of 2014.  We quickly saw that he would not live long if something didn’t change. There are just not enough staff to manage all the other boys in the Isolation Hall AND to give Ben the careful attention he needs. He started withering away soon after his arrival.  He must be fed slowly because he refluxes so badly, and the nannies just didn’t have the time he required.  We hired a nanny to care for the two Littles in a room just for them. A great ministry here in town hired another nanny to alternate days with our nanny, so now every day of the week, from 7am-7pm the Little ones have great care from nannies who truly love them.  Those nannies have literally saved their lives! (Not an exaggeration)  We are so incredibly thankful for them.

Ben is no longer losing weight, but he still doesn’t gain.  He is nonverbal and we have never seen him smile.  BUT in the past month or two there has been one major improvement!  Ben now cries when his nanny leaves his room!  When she comes back in and calls his name, he turns to her and is almost instantly quiet.  He also cries when he wants to be held. These are miraculous developments!  He can sit up on his own, bear weight, and stand while holding on to the crib railing, and he can take steps when holding on to someone’s finger. This little guy is teeeeeny tiny.  Oh, how he needs a mama to scoop him up and cuddle him as long as his little heart desires.  Would you consider Ben?

Meet Isaiah!

Isaiah is pure sunshine.  He is also 5 years old, and this boy’s smile lights up the room!  He is the other of our “Littles” and shares a room with Ben. Isaiah has cerebral palsy and is nonverbal.  He is learning to hold his head up and has gotten much stronger over the past few months.  He has never had any kind of therapy, so just imagine all the potential hidden in there!

Isaiah loves his special nannies and reserves his best smiles and laughs for them.  It’s actually really beautiful to see how they have bonded.  What a gift.

This amazing boy will bring such joy to a family.  He giggles and smiles so easily, but he will never reach his potential in an institution.  Of course, he will require a lot of time and attention, therapy and doctor’s appointments, but oh man it will be worth it.  He is just amazing.  Please help us find a family for Isaiah!

Addy and Isaiah, back in July. Our kids adore Isaiah!

Meet Aaron!

Aaron is 11 and he came to the institution at the age of 7.  We just have to smile when we think of Aaron because he keeps those nannies hopping! He is absolutely exploding with energy. He’s really unsteady on his feet so he’s constantly roaming the halls half-running/half-falling. When he has the opportunity he will literally try to climb up your body! Ha!  Aaron loves touch and he craves physical contact. Sometimes we can get a glorious moment of quiet when Aaron will just let us hold him and wrap our arms around him. He really does love that and it does wonders for his brain development. It’s just a matter of getting him still enough to realize he likes it. 🙂
Aaron loves any kind of sensory play, like feeling the dirt outside and holding his hand under a running faucet. He likes to sit in a wheelchair and be pushed around, even though he doesn’t need a wheelchair! The best thing we can do for Aaron is take him on walks. He likes to be outside so sometimes we just get him outside and follow wherever he leads. Aaron doesn’t have any words, but when he gets excited he gives his signature shriek to let us know how he feels.

It’s hard for me to write about Aaron because I want to be completely honest, yet I am desperate for him to have a family. I want to tell you that Aaron needs a family that can provide him with plenty of love, plenty of time, plenty of patience, and plenty of structure.  Right now he gets no attention and he has no sensory input at all.  He is constantly striving to meet his sensory needs in an impossible environment.  This puts him in a hyper-arousal state where he wanders from place to place climbing and reaching and falling and shrieking.  We have no doubt that he will absolutely blossom with a family.  Our peaceful moments with him give us that hope.  I just want to tell you honestly that right at this moment an adoptive family will have quite a road ahead of them.   BUT Aaron is worth it.  He is as worth it as my own sons.

Please, please share our boy.  We are praying that his family sees him quickly and that nothing holds them back from their baby.

A rare moment of rest on Maks’ lap 🙂

There you have it!  And don’t forget about our other sweeties who are also available!  Two of them will become unadoptable at the end of this year, so time is of the essence.

Jonathan

Micah- ages out in November!

Stephen

Alex- ages out in December!

I can’t share the details, but Alex urgently needs a family.  We have until December to find him a family (already not a lot of time), but due to other circumstances, we are praying for a family to step up even sooner.  Several people have inquired about him, but no one has taken any steps toward him.

Thank you so much for praying for, loving, supporting, and sharing our Boys.  They have no voice. They have no choices. We MUST be their voice. They have been hidden away for far too long.  This is their year!

Oh man, today is your lucky day!

Today is the day I introduce you to some beautiful treasures.

I promised that I would begin to advocate in earnest.  I warned you this day was coming.  Woohoo!

There are 9 boys that I have been told are available for adoption.  For some months we have been in the process of verifying with the government department of adoptions that yes, they are 100% legally free for adoption.  At this point I have confirmation on 4 of the 9 boys, and we are waiting on the rest.

So, let’s meet the first 4!

*FYI, I’m giving them alias names to protect their identities.  

Meet Alex!Oh my friends, this boy is precious.  Alex came to Romaniv when he was 7 years old and now he is 15.  We have until the end of this year to find him a family and then he will “age out”, meaning he will become to old for adoption.  We can’t let this happen because this boy deserves the love of a family.  Jed and I both agree that he would make a FABULOUS son.  He is such a helper!  Last summer, when the weather was nice, we would take the Isolation boys outside and some of the big boys who have more freedom would join us.  Alex was always in that group.  He would run to help us push wheelchairs, or gently take our blind boys by the hand.  Every week when bananas are being served he is sure to be seen helping the less capable boys with their bananas, making sure no one steals from anyone else.  PRECIOUS.

In 2011

His first picnic!

Alex doesn’t speak, but I wonder if he would if he were given the chance for love and security?  I know it might sound scary to adopt a 15-year-old, but this sweet boy is not your average 15-year-old.  He has never had the experiences my 6-year-old has had.  He is a responsible helper, but he is also like a little child.  Precious, precious boy.  Someone, please see this treasure!!

Meet Stephen!Stephen is one of our Isolation Hall treasures.  We want a family for him so desperately.  He is 12 years old, but really about the size of a 6 or 7-year-old- just an itty bitty thing.  The nannies say that he is blind, but we believe he can at least see shadows.  He always wants to be near the window- especially on sunny days.  There are two places you can usually find Stephen- either standing under the window at the end of the Isolation Hall, or sitting on a chair in the kitchen, waiting for the next meal.

Where he spends most of his days

Jed was describing Stephen’s behaviors to a woman in the US who works with children with visual impairments and she said that his description matches many children they work with who have sensory issues surrounding their vision.  She said that for some of those children, they can actually be taught to see!  Stephen is extremely sensory-seeking and needs to feeeeeeeel the world around him  🙂  He loves to spin, flap his arms, spin some more, run, spin, you get the idea.  He has absolutely no sensory input at Romaniv- so he has to create it himself.

Last summer

He does not speak and displays many institutional behaviors.  He is NOT harmful or aggressive to himself or others.  He is absolutely adorable and has so.much.potential.  He is more than a diagnosis.  Please see our Stephen!!  I have video for interested families.  🙂

Meet Micah!Okay, Micah.  Ridiculous cuteness.  To know him is to love him.  Micah has lived with the big boys for many years, but only recently has been staying in the Isolation Hall.  He gets severe headaches and they put him in with our Boys when that happens.  Our volunteer team absolutely fell in love with him over the past month.  He is so funny!  He speaks and always says “thank you” and “goodbye”.  Somehow he is super polite!  It’s hilarious to see it in that environment.  I have awesome video for interested families.  You just have to see this boy in action.  His pictures don’t do him justice.

In 2008

In 2011

Micah turns 16 this year and we just have to find him a family by the end of the year or he will age out.  One very important consideration is that he has a brother who was born in 2001 and they must be adopted together.  Unfortunately, we don’t know anything about this boy.  He is in another orphanage.  I know, I know, this is a lot to take on.  But please, don’t turn away.  I truly believe God can do anything- even provide a family for Micah and his brother.  🙂

Annnnnd last but not least…

Meet Jonathan!Jonathan is the boy I know the least from this group.  I simply haven’t spent much time with him.  He used to live in the Isolation Hall, but shortly after we moved here he was moved to the big boy group.  He is 12 years old, but about the size of an 8-year-old.  He came to Romaniv from the baby house orphanage when he was 5.

In 2008. SO CUTE.

Last summer. Working hard! 🙂

We’ve heard that Jonathan has a heart condition, but I really need to get that verified.  He is described as kind and cheerful and I heard from one volunteer that he always helps the nannies clear the table after meals.  🙂  I will try my best to find out more information about him, I just didn’t want to delay getting his face out there.  Are you out there Mommy and Daddy?

So there you have it.  There’s the first of our 9.  I hope to tell you about the rest as soon as I get confirmation of their availability.

I know they are not little babies.  I know that you might not fall in love at first glance.  But I can vouch for their value.  I have met them.  I have held each of them in my arms.  They are not just pictures and diagnoses and ages.  They are real boys- as real as my own sons.  I can vouch that God’s plans for them are of no less value than his plans for my own sons.  They have spent their growing-up years thus far in a place no person should have to live for one day- let alone years.

Their childhoods have been stolen.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Please stop and ask the Lord how He would have you respond.  If you can’t adopt, will you at least help me share them with the world?  My faith is big.  There are adoptive families out there.  We just need to introduce them to their sons.  🙂

If you are interested or would like more information please contact me!  You can comment here or email me at kjohnson@wideawakeinternational.org

*Thank you to Mission to Ukraine for the pictures of the boys when they were little!

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were afraid to ask God for it, afraid of what His answer might be?

Me too.

I remember back in 2011 when Jed and I were planning our first trip to scout out Ukraine. We had no idea what God had in mind, but we just knew we had to get over here and see in person what was being done for orphans with special needs. One night I was away from home, having some quiet time alone with the Lord and I had a big wish in my heart. I wanted this wish to come true so badly that I was almost afraid to speak it out loud- even to God.

“Lord, please let us see the Lost Boys. Please let us in that institution, even if it’s only for 5 minutes.”

That institution is locked and many times the volunteer teams are turned away when they want to see the Boys. It’s very much like Romaniv, but bigger, and in a different part of the country. That was the very place that drew our hearts to Ukraine in the first place and we were desperate to touch and see the boys face to face.

Guess what? God granted that wish. He is amazing.

Another time I remember was when we got home from that scouting trip to Ukraine. We had fallen in love with the country and her people. We had visited the Lost Boys and Romaniv and knew in our hearts we were made for that work. It was so hard to ask God about that dream…afraid of what his answer might be.

“Lord, do you want us to move to Ukraine to serve those Boys? They already have our hearts. Please say yes!!”

Guess what? Here I sit in Ukraine, my heart full of 80 Boys who have changed my life forever.

Now I have another dream. This one is BIG. I’m so afraid to even type it out. But the time has come.

“Lord, please let 2015 be the year of Romaniv Adoption. Please bring every one of our adoptable boys a family this year.”

(See, I’m so afraid to ask that I just deleted that prayer and had to re-type it.)

We have several Boys who are available for adoption and they can’t wait any longer. They shouldn’t have to wait any longer. We can be their voice, and now it’s time to speak. I know I warned before that I was going to start advocating hardcore for them, but some unexpected things kept us from really going for it, till now. Recently, in desperation I wrote about our one sweet boy who is suffering so much. The outpouring of prayer and support and encouragement was amazing. It’s time to go for it.

Adoption can’t save every boy at Romaniv. The vast majority of the Boys are not, and will not be available for adoption. But it is our responsibility to give a voice to the ones who can’t speak for themselves- and for the adoptable ones that means looking high and low for a Mommy and Daddy to call their own. Our Boys can’t reach out on a blog or on Facebook. They can’t tell their story or share their picture. All they can do is wait. But I can do those things. I can reach out. I can share their faces and their stories. So I will. They deserve it.

God is doing a new thing.
VLADIK HAS A FAMILY!
AND, we hope to have some very good news to share about our Sweet One very shortly!! Yay!

God is moving hearts.

I have no idea how God plans to bring these families out, but it’s not my job to understand. All I’m supposed to do is tell the story and be faithful with what’s been given to me.

I have confidence and I have anxiety at the same time. I write with ease one minute and delete paragraphs in another. I remember God’s truth and promises in the morning and forget them in the afternoon. I have issues. 🙂

All this is to say, get ready. Open your eyes. Open your hearts.
2015 is their year. You’re about to meet some true treasures. We love them so much it hurts. PRECIOUS.

I can’t wait to introduce them to you!!!!

Not a lot of words needed today.

VLADIK IS FOUND.

A family has found their boy.  Vladik doesn’t know it yet, but in just a few months, Lord willing, he will be a beloved son, orphan no more.

We are rejoicing and we can’t wipe the grins off our face or the tears off our cheeks.

Oh the joy he will bring to his family.  UNBELIEVABLE.

The family wishes to remain private right now, until they are further along in the adoption process.  There are many unknowns in adopting from this country, so please pray with us for a speedy process with favor all along the way. Just know that they are doing everything they can to get to their boy as quickly as possible!  We will share more when we are able.

Hold on baby boy, Mommy and Daddy are comin’ for ya!  WAHOOOOO!!!!!

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  John 14:18

One year ago, at seven years old, he was transferred to our institution. We were shocked when we saw him. He was so beautiful. His skin was soft and unblemished, his eyes were bright, his smile mischievous. We said he didn’t belong in that place of suffering, but honestly, no one does.

The nannies doted on him, laughing when he only wanted to eat milk and cookies instead of borscht. They would sneak him candy and rub his soft cheeks.

Then time moved on, and the darkness weighed down on him. Those bright eyes and that beautiful smile began to fade. Children are not made for institutions. Children are made for families- and he had none.

By spring he was less social. He allowed us to hold him, but didn’t seek out the physical affection like he had before. Soon he began to self-harm- just a bit- and not always, mostly just when he was stressed.

Summer came and he was regularly self-harming. We tried to take him to the Sensory Room but he would cry and try to escape. There are so many of them and so few of us, we had to focus our precious Sensory Room time on boys who would tolerate the therapy. And in the background he was fading away.

Fall brought brisk wind and the time had come for us to stay inside.  When we would arrive for our visits we rarely saw him up walking in the hall.  He was more and more often found in bed, arms restrained in an effort to keep him from harming himself. He would smile when we entered his room. We would stand over his crib talking softly to him and he would laugh. Then we would take the restraints off, hoping to give him some moments of love and he would cry, reaching for the restraints and the comfort they had come to provide. It was almost as if he knew he needed them- he knew he couldn’t help but self-harm- and he had no Mommy or Daddy to protect him from himself. I remember never wanting to leave him on those fall days, but having no choice.

December came along and he was almost always in bed. I do remember one day, December 12th, when he was up and had a light in his eyes- almost like before! We all praised him and cuddled him and hope filled our hearts. He and I played in the hall for quite a long time and I was reminded of how far he had come from the boy he used to be. But I hoped he was coming around.

Then came January and our hopes were dashed. He stays in bed all the time now. He doesn’t smile when people enter his room now to fetch him from bed, in fact he doesn’t smile at all. He is like a ghost boy. He is a shadow of his former self and we are lost on how to help him. The nurses and doctors try music and massage and attention, but he only declines. It seems that he has given up.

The thing is, I don’t blame him. He is only a boy- yet he is without a childhood. He suffers day after day and he has no one to comfort him. Overworked nannies simply can not give him what he needs. The nurses are stumped and worry night and day about him. I dream about him at night. His eyes have no light. He is a shell.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You see, out of 80 boys at our institution only 12 are available for adoption, and he is one of them. He is legally free to have a family, and now we need to find them.

Do you have room at your table for one more precious child? Do you have room in your heart for one more invaluable soul? No, I cannot tell you how he will develop or if he will ever speak or if he will ever live on his own. I cannot tell you how he will respond to a Mommy and Daddy or how long it will take him to trust or how long before he will accept your love. But I can tell you that he is valuable and he was created with purpose and he is worth any inconvenience adoptive parents could encounter on his behalf.

Please stop and pray. Please ask God how you should respond. We are watching our boy waste away before our very eyes and I almost want to beg for someone to come take him away. But all I can ask of you is to be open to saying yes.

Open your heart and trust that if God is asking you to respond He will give you everything you need to do what He is asking you to do.

Time is of the essence.

*Any serious inquiries can be sent by email or left in a comment. I approve the comments before they are published, so if you want your comment to be private it will stay that way.

November is a good month.  We have two family birthdays, it’s Thanksgiving, the holiday season begins, the weather is cozy, and it’s National Adoption Month!  Did you know?  Have you heard?  There is a whole month designated for sharing about the plight of orphans and the blessing of adoption.  Yep, that sounds just about perfect to me.

We’ve been sitting on some important information for a few months now, considering how, when, and where we would share our hearts.  Well, now is the time, and here is the place.  After all, it is National Adoption Month!

With a bit of fear and trembling I’m going to share, and then I’m going to ask you to prayerfully respond.  There are many different great responses, and your response will likely be different than mine.  For the sake of our Boys, every response is important.

The work we do, and Mission to Ukraine has done for many years at Romaniv is important and necessary.  It is life-altering for our Boys.  Boys who were once strangers who flinched at touch and cowered from any human interaction are now dear loved ones who come scooting and crawling and hobbling as soon as they hear our voices.  One boy who used to avoid eye contact at all costs now seeks out our gaze and will sit forehead to forehead with Jed as the guitar is played- just looking into Jed’s eyes. No words, just a look.  It is enough for us to see that God is doing miracles.

And yet.

No work we do could ever be more beneficial than a family.

No treatment could ever be as effective as the love of a family.

No weighted vest could be more comforting than a mother’s arms.

No helmet could offer better protection than a father’s embrace. 

This work we do is a stopgap.  It is the next best thing possible in this situation.  But it is not a family, and it is not nearly enough.  There is no future for our Boys here.  Even if our dreams come true and we build group homes where they can be loved and cared for, it still won’t hold a candle to a life spent as part of a loving family.  There are nannies at Romaniv that do care for the Boys deeply, but they face an impossible task.  How can 2 nannies care for more than 20 boys with severe disabilities and do an even satisfactory job?

Most of the boys and men at Romaniv are not legally free to be adopted.  Either their parents still maintain their parental rights, or the boys are over the age of 18 which prevents them from being adopted.  To those boys and men, we commit to doing whatever we possibly can to love them, care for them, and give them a future worth living until the day they are made whole in heaven.

Some of our Boys, though, ARE available for international adoption.  We haven’t shared this with you before for several reasons that might be hard to understand.  There are many layers to this.  We feel protective of our Boys and the work that is being done; we want to avoid any exploitation; we have a relationship to maintain with the orphanage directors that requires vigilant care.  Nothing about this is simple, so we tread lightly with steps full of prayer.  And yet, one of our Boys is not thriving.  He is wasting away before our eyes and we can’t stand by and watch without acting.  He is ill and will never thrive in an institutional setting.  He needs the best medical care.  He needs a nutrition plan.  He needs therapy of all kinds.  Most of all he needs a mommy and daddy to love him as their son- to believe in him, to fight for him, and shower him with affection.  We are compelled to act and we can’t hold off any longer.  Time is of the essence.

So I’m asking that you see our Boys.  I’m asking that you stop and see them for the treasures they are.  See their immense value.  See their precious beauty.  Consider their lives as weighty as your own and ask the Lord how you should respond to this knowledge that some of them are waiting for families.  If you follow Jesus you are called to care for the orphan in some way.  Even if you don’t believe in Jesus I bet you can agree that this is a justice issue that can not be ignored.

“Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17

Maybe you are supposed to pray.  A million times thank you!  Prayer is important and essential.  Any of the progress that’s been made has only come through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Our Boys need prayer!

Maybe you are supposed to give financially to help improve the quality of life for our Boys.  Yes!  Thank you so very much!  None of this would even be happening if we didn’t have faithful financial supporters on the team.

Maybe you are supposed to adopt.  Please don’t dismiss this response.  I am confident that some of you who read this are called to respond through adoption.  Children were made for families!  Children were not made for institutions.  One hour spent at Romaniv will prove that point.  I must warn you though that any romanticism concerning the adoption of one of our Boys ends with the fuzzy feelings you may be feeling as you read this post.  It will not be romantic.  It will be a hard road and much faith will be required.  But- it will be a road worth walking.  I am confident of that.  Orphans are very important to our God and He has gone to great lengths to prove His love for these particular Boys.  He will not allow the world to forget them now, and He’s not about to forget them when they step out of Romaniv’s gates.

I was with these Boys yesterday.  I held them in my arms.  I kissed their cheeks.  I held their hands so they wouldn’t harm themselves.  They are real people.  They were created with purpose and God has good plans for them.  I can’t even imagine one of my four children living like our Boys.  I can’t imagine my Ezra, nearly 9 years old but the size of a toddler, sitting day after day rocking back and forth in his bed.  I can’t imagine him sitting and sitting and waiting and waiting for his life to begin.  I can’t imagine not going to him and taking him out of that place.  Our Boys are as real as Ezra and they are as deserving of love as he.  They were created with just as much purpose and intentionality.  They were created in the image of God and God does not make mistakes.

There you have it.  Now you know, and I now humbly ask you to respond.  I ask you to stop and pray and ask the Lord what He would have you to do.  Please pray that adoptive families would step out with boldness and faith.  Any serious inquiries can be emailed to kjohnson@wideawakeinternational.org and I would be happy to talk with you more.  If you have questions about what adopting an institutionalized child looks like in real life I can connect you with adoptive parents who have walked that path.

Please share this post and give our Boys a voice this month.  Thank you!

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.” Proverbs 31:8

Today I had my physical for our foster care adoption of Baby S.  That was the last bit that we had to do and now his file can go to Central Office for processing!  Woohoo!

My baby is growing and changing every day.  He was born addicted to drugs, but today he is a smiling, crawling, pointing, babbling, one year old who lights up our lives.  I don’t know if we will foster again, but I do know that he was our greatest reward for fostering.  We have had a lot of hard times in our last four years involved in foster care.  It has been one of the hardest and best things we have ever done.  Baby S is our prize 🙂  We are blessed beyond words.

On an “international note”, we had some doubts this past month, but have decided to continue with our international adoption homestudy.  We took some time to pray, wait on God, grieve, and listen.  God has not told us to stop, so we will continue to move.  The country we feel He is calling us to is closing adoptions for the next three months, so in the meantime we’ll do whatever we can do on our end to get ready for their re-open.  Bring on the paperwork!  It has been such a huge blessing to see the little one we originally committed to meeting his mommy and daddy for the first time.  I won’t lie, at first it made me cry.  I had so hoped to be his mommy and to have that meeting.  I dreamed of it.  But, helloooooo????  This is so not about me!!! Ha!  God is amazing.  He knew this precious one needed out of his country before the adoption closure.  As always, His ways are so much higher than our ways.  I’m thankful for that.

Beginning…beginning of what?  That’s a good question.  The beginning of this blog, yes, but I had hoped today I would be starting this blog out with talking about the beginning of our adoption journey to kiddo #5.  Although things won’t look how I thought they would, I guess technically this is still about the beginning of our adoption journey.  Nice rambling start eh?  🙂

I’ll back up.  Who are we?
I’m Kim:  wife, Mommy, foster mom, home-school teacher, friend, pediatric nurse, coffee snob, lover of all things missions/orphans/helpless/least of these.  I’m passionate about the plight of the orphan, both here, and abroad.  My husband tells me my passion is “to mother the world”.  He may not be that far off!
Then there’s Jed: husband, Daddy, foster dad, friend, social worker, guitar-playin worshippin’ Jesus Freak.  He is my best friend and an amazing person.  He is selfless and totally committed to pursuing God’s plans and purposes.
Adelina: our oldest daughter, our amazing firstborn.  She loves to read and read and read.  She is mildly obsessed with Ancient Egypt.  Ha!  Addie is kind, loves and lives life to the fullest with a perpetual smile on her face.
Ezra: our first son, our “helper”.  Ezra loves to color, cuddle mommy, and jump on the trampoline.  He adores his older sister (though he would never admit that to anyone).  He is loving and tender, always the one to rush to kiss the babies.
Havalah:  our joy.  The name Havalah means “life”, and she is perfectly suited for her name.  Havalah is a bubbly ball of sweetness that you just can’t help but squeeze.  She knows what she wants and will let you know it!  She is our Polly Pocket and Strawberry Shortcake girl.
Baby “S”:  our unexpected miracle.  S is our foster baby boy that we have had since his birth.  We didn’t expect to keep him when we took him in, but now we can’t imagine our lives without him.  He will be one year old on Saturday and what a celebration that will be!  I’ll share another time the miracle that is our baby.  We are in the process of adopting him through our state.  He is happy, beautiful, and absolutely adored.

We created this blog because we recently committed to a little boy through Reeces Rainbow.  They suggest you start a blog for your adoption journey.  I actually found out about Reeces Rainbow through another blog.  I read on that blog about the plight of special needs orphans and was compelled to act.  After much prayer we knew God was calling us to pursue a certain boy.  I dreamed about him, prayed for him, God spoke, words were given, Scriptures were given, money was given!  It was very very clear to us that God was saying “Move!”  So we moved.  We sent in our committment papers and then today we found out that another family who was in country already had decided to adopt our boy.  It was a rare occurence and everyone involved was surprised at the turn of events.  We were shocked!  What do you do when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what God told you to do, but then things change so radically?  What do we make of it?  It’s confusing and heartbreaking.  When we committed to that boy I felt the feelings you feel when you find out your pregnant, and now I’m not sure what to feel since my “baby” is no longer mine.  I know legally he never was mine, but in my heart he was.  🙂

So, now we wait on the Lord.  He told us to move, so we will continue to move forward.  We will continue our home study paperwork and see where He leads.  I decided to start the blog anyhow, because even though the course of our journey has changed, I know it has not ended.  It is still the story of our adoptions of #4 and #5.  Your guess is as good as mine on how things will turn out!  God knows though, may His kingdom come and His will be done.  So be it!