Category: Orphan Care

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The Value of a Life

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“Did you just end up on this earth?  Was it all an accident?

The Bible says it wasn’t an accident.  It was a plan.  

You didn’t just end up here.  God put you here on purpose.   

God wanted you here, and he had to have you here right now.  Because he has a wonderful plan for you- something that only you can do.

Every single thing about you- the color of your eyes, your name, what you love, every day you will live- God knew before time began.

Even before you were born, he loved you.  You began in God’s heart.

You are his.  Made by him.  Made for him.”

Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing, by Sally Lloyd-Jones

 

A young man the size of a small boy rocks back and forth in his bed tonight.  He is surrounded by others just like him, yet he is alone.  In the bed next to his, another boy hits his head with his hand over and over, his attempt to feel something.

I’m not there with them, but I know what they are doing.  I know because it is what they are always doing- every hour, every day, every week, every month, every year.  Their lives are empty shells.  They’re here on this earth, but not truly living.

On Tuesdays and Fridays a group of smiling people come to their room and offer them love and bananas, but with vacant eyes they can’t seem to respond or engage.  They shrink away from touch and scream when too much unexpected action occurs.

Their lives consist of one hallway with several identical rooms, where every day is the same.

And there they live out their days, so alone- like dead men walking.

And yet, their lives have infinite value.

Each one lovingly formed and crafted in his mother’s womb.  Our Father God has always known every single detail about them.  He knows what lies behind the blank faces.

He knows.  He loves.  Oh how He loves.

And in His great love and mercy He has not forgotten them.  Even as they sit and rock right at this very moment He has plans for them.  Our God has a future and a hope for them.  He promises it, so it is so.

I picture God the Father looking down on them with eyes so full of love He can’t contain himself. I see his eyes brimming over with tears at the pain and suffering they have endured.  But I hear him whisper ever so softly, “Don’t you worry sweet baby.  Daddy’s here and it’s all going to be okay.”

The infinite value of a life.  

A young woman heads to work on the subway, her favorite music keeping her company along the way.  She looks at all the strangers around her and feels small.  A man pulls his truck in to the parking lot at his office, right on time despite the traffic.  Another day, another dollar.  A harried mom makes lunches and checks homework and ties shoelaces before hustling her brood out the door.  An old man, nearing the end of his days, waits for his caregiver to come help him in to his chair so he can peruse the morning news.  Oh how he wishes he could still do it himself.  It’s hard to have to rely on others.  A teacher welcomes her class with a smile- yet behind the smile she wonders if she is really making a difference and how she will manage to make it through another day.  A Grandma, a taxi driver, a teenager, a child, a seamstress…

…and you.

Each one infinitely valuable.  Each one made with a purpose and for a purpose.

Oh how He loves.

From the weakest boy at our orphanage to the strongest and most alive among you- God sees you and He knows you.  He created you with so much value.  What will you do with it?

You have choices and abilities and loves and talents.  How will you use them?

Will you use your life as a yes to God?  Will you let Him use you fully as you He intended you to be?  Can you imagine how beautiful that would be?  -If each of us lived our lives fully as God intended.  If we each invested the value of our lives in to God’s Kingdom and in to the ones who have no choices- the lost and forgotten, the discarded ones.

Please don’t dismiss your value.  Don’t squander this life you’ve been given.  It’s such a great gift!  Maybe today it seems really hard.  Maybe today you don’t feel you have much value.  Maybe you’ve squandered your days and live with regret.

I picture God the Father looking down on you with eyes so full of love He can’t contain himself. I see his eyes brimming over with tears at the pain and suffering you have endured.  But I hear him whisper ever so softly, “Don’t you worry sweet baby.  Daddy’s here and it’s all going to be okay.”

It’s never too late to say yes to God.

Your life has immense value.  Spend wisely today, would you?  I guarantee you won’t regret it.

 

 

 

 

 

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An Update on the Littles!

You’ve been asking and wondering, so I won’t leave you in anticipation any longer.

Everyone’s been asking, “How are the Littles???”

(You can also read about them here: http://wideawakefamily.com/2014/07/04/it-just-keeps-getting-better/)

Okay, you’ve twisted my arm. I guess I can spare a few to chat about the sweetest little boys you ever did see. 😉

The Littles are doing really well. I’ll tell you that it was obvious to us right away that they looked physically healthier. A small church here in Zhytomyr that does great orphan care here in our region went to Romaniv while we were in Lviv. They also saw the need for more nannies and donated money to hire another nanny for the Littles! With our forces combined, we now have a nanny with the Littles 7 days a week from 7am-7pm. This is HUGE. How can they not improve?? Impossible.

Jed and I go to Romaniv twice a week now. We go on Friday with the team, like usual, but we also go on Tuesdays. Our dream is to form another Isolation Hall team for Tuesdays, but we just don’t have the manpower for it right now. There is a church from another city that has joined MTU at Romaniv on Fridays for years. They bring a group to Romaniv on Tuesdays as well, and they mostly work with the older boys. We are so thankful for them! They are absolutely fabulous people. So, for the last two weeks, while they work with the older boys, Jed and I have taken aside a couple of our Isolation Boys to work with them more individually. In the group setting on Fridays, it’s really difficult to connect well with each individual boy. We are really excited about this time on Tuesdays to observe and connect with boys more strategically.

Yesterday I got to spend some very quality time with “Little #1” (the bigger of the two) and one of our nannies. The other Little was with the orphanage nurses, so I didn’t get to interact with him. The time was awesome! Our friend Alosha came along to translate and I got to talk with the nanny very freely about the boys and their care. We discussed feeding progress and difficulties and I learned that it takes her over an hour to feed the boys at each meal. Little #1 eats well and is improving his feeding skills with the spoon (yay!), but #2’s reflux is still a big problem. Thank The Lord we have those nannies! The other nannies do not have nearly that amount of time to spend feeding just two boys. Our nannies are able to feed them slowly enough that they finally hold down 100% of every meal. WOOHOO! They are not losing more weight, but are now maintaining. The next step will be working toward weight gain.

I got to work with Little #1 on the floor, showing the nanny how to do some stretches and exercises with him. I was amazed to see that he is now able to briefly lift his head while lying on his tummy! This is huge. I can tell that our nannies really work with the boys and want them to grow and improve.

I think the biggest and best thing that I noticed during my time with him was the change in his socialization. These boys get 2 to 1 attention all day long and IT SHOWS. He would turn to look for his nanny when she spoke. She reported that the boys each cry when she is giving attention to the other one. THIS IS GREAT! These are Littles who were silent when they arrived at Romaniv. They weren’t silent because they had no needs. They were silent because they had learned that crying got them nowhere. There would not be a response, so why cry out? A silent orphanage is not a good sign. It is healthy and right that children should cry out or call out when they have a need. I was ecstatic to hear that the boys cry for their nanny. Woot! My heart was full to hear her talk about their likes and dislikes. She described how Little #1 reaches for his mobile that we brought him before we left in August. She reported that he loves it, but his greatest love is going for walks outside. Every day the boys get to go out for a walk. Every day!!!! She laughed as she described how all the orphanage staff from maintenance men to cooks have to stop and ooh and aaah over the Littles when they see them outside. Of course, a family is their very best option, but if that can not be at this time, then we will work with what is possible. I’m so thankful this is possible.

Praise God. Praise God that He made a way for these two lives to be saved. Praise God that he put a dream to help our Boys in the heart of a 13-year-old boy all the way back in Oregon. Praise God for the church here in Zhytomyr that also saw the need and joined in to help. Praise God for nannies who truly love our Boys. Praise God that we have the funds to continue this care for 4 more months.

There is so much need at Romaniv. There is so much injustice and sadness. The need can be overwhelming and suffocating, but yesterday I got to see a glimmer of things to come. There is one room in that building where joy abounds. May it continue and spread and grow like wildfire. May God grant us abundant wisdom beyond ourselves to know what steps come next. Seventy-eight other boys sit and wait day after day for their turn. The same God who saw the Littles and made a way for them will make a way for the rest. We are confident of that!

P.S. We will share more about our work at Romaniv in our September newsletter. If you would like to receive our newsletters in your inbox you can subscribe here!

P.P.S. Sorry about the lack of pictures. We’re finishing up some discussions about posting pics of the Boys. I’ll post more as soon as I can!

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Big News: A Wide Awake Nanny!

Oh guys, today was a good day.  I think you’re going to be pretty excited about today.  I know I’m excited.  Maybe that’s why it’s 12:52am and I’m still awake and just crazy enough to start writing a blog post.  Forgive the late-night typos and the lack of pictures, this news just can’t wait.

About a month ago I shared with you about our two newest additions to the Isolation Building.  I wrote about it here: http://wideawakefamily.com/2014/07/04/it-just-keeps-getting-better/  Our two new little guys (the “Littles”) are teeny tiny and we knew they would need a lot of extra support to be able to thrive.  Right before we left for camp in July we brought a bunch of supplies to Romaniv to help the nannies care for them more easily.  We left for camp unsure of how they would do at Romaniv, in their new environment, but hopeful.

Last Friday we finally made it back to Romaniv after three awesome weeks at camp.  Oh my, it felt amazing to be back with all our boys.  They were visibly happy to see us (which was a blessing all on it’s own!) and we were ecstatic to be back with them.  We missed those faces!

We could see right away that the Littles have not been thriving.  I don’t fault the institution, the nannies in the Isolation Building genuinely do care about them and do their best to meet their needs.  I fault a system that sets people up for failure.  Simply put, there is no way it is possible for 2 nannies to give 22 boys with severe disabilities the care they desperately need.  Once you add the needs of the Littles to all the others it becomes over-the-top impossible.  The Littles are still learning to eat from a spoon instead of only by bottle.  Bravo nannies for trying to teach them to take food from a spoon!  They are unable to walk, and one of them is unable to even sit, but who has the time to help them weight bear and learn to crawl and learn to grasp toys and learn to interact with their environment?  With a building full of other boys who don’t understand personal space or boundaries or how to be gentle with “babies” , how do you keep these little ones safe without keeping them in their cribs all day long?  I don’t fault the nannies.  I’m not at all sure how I would do different if I were in their shoes.

The honest truth we saw right away is that there is no way these boys could thrive without a big intervention.

So, we went home last Friday and asked God how Wide Awake could or should intervene.

The thing is, we will be at a language intensive for the next bit and won’t be able to be at Romaniv for 3 weeks.  We couldn’t help but feel a desperation to help before we leave, and on Tuesday Jed and I met with the orphanage’s Assistant Director (who came in on his vacation) to see what that help could look like.

I can’t brag enough about this orphanage administration.  They are so open to help and to new ideas and we are beyond thankful for that.  They genuinely care about the boys and they really do want to improve their lives.  They know they need help and they don’t turn it away when it’s offered.  Thanks to those who have served them faithfully for years, we get to see the fruit that is cooperation and trust and encouragement.  It’s awesome.

In our meeting the Assistant Director was super open to our ideas.  He said “You know our boys.  If you have ideas to make their lives better we will do our best to help you reach those goals.”  Praise God.

We presented the idea of Wide Awake International hiring an extra nanny to care specifically for the Littles for the next three weeks while we are away.  The purpose of the nanny would be:

1.  To feed the boys the way they need to be fed so that they are able to keep down the nutrition they work so hard to take in.  They both have reflux and one of them is still very lacking in the oral skills needed to eat safely from a spoon.  Feeding them properly takes a long time and the regular nannies just don’t have that time with their normal workload.

2.  To provide therapeutic interventions that will help the boys build strength and motor skills- both gross and fine.  They need to bear weight on their legs and arms.  They need to learn to crawl.  They need to learn to grasp toys.  They need to have tummy time and neck control….and and and….  🙂  Any attention to their bodies, any play will help them come closer to achieving those goals.

3.  To love.  These little ones live confined to their beds.  Oh how they would thrive with time and attention and physical touch.  Oh how they would thrive with a walk in a stroller, to feel the sun on their faces.  Oh how they would thrive when being held, just for the sake of being held.

The Assistant Director liked the idea.  He presented it to the Director who liked the idea,

Annnnnnddddd….today we met our nanny!  Wahooooooo!

She is a kind, gentle woman who seems to be just the right fit.  We pray it is so.  She was visibly touched when she first met the boys and she was open to all our instructions and ideas.  Today we discussed our ideas for working with the boys’ bodies and how we would like them to be fed.  If she implements these ideas we won’t help but see improvement. Improvement in their overall well-being is inevitable.  🙂

Our Wide Awake nanny will work from 8-5, Monday through Friday (with possible some time on Saturdays) and her main focus will be the Littles.  If they are sleeping she can help out some with the others, but we were very clear about our expectations that she focus on the Littles.  We really want to see how they improve and how they respond to this care, so as much as we love all our other boys, we need our nanny to be pretty focused.  The Little’s room is like the ICU of Romaniv.  Yes, all the other patients in a hospital need care, but the ones in ICU need special attention for some time.  So it is with them.

Want to know something really awesome that’s like icing on the cake?  There’s this awesome kid in Portland, Oregon.  His name is Athen.  God really gave Athen a big heart for our Boys. He loves them and for the past several months he’s been working hard to raise money to help them.  He’s done a pancake breakfast and raffles and t-shirt sales.  He made bracelets and sold them during school lunch.  He worked hard.  On Monday, the day before Jed and I met at Romaniv to present our idea about the nanny, Athen gave us his total from his fundraisers:  $820.  SHUT UP!!!!!  So, not only did we have a really cool idea to present to the orphanage administration, but we had a big chunk of money to pay the bill for the idea (plus some!).  Too stinkin’ awesome.  Really.

When we get back from our language course we will see how it went with our nanny and at that point we will talk with the directors about a more long-term plan for improving the Littles’ health and well-being.  The rest of the money Athen raised will be put to good use at that time.  I’m confident of that!

So, there you have it!  Now is that good news or what?  How amazing that God sees and He knows our Littles.  He loves them so much that He moved the heart of a boy across the world who didn’t even know them to work his tail off so they could have a nanny just for them.  He loves them so much that He opened the hearts of the Directors to come to work on their vacation to find a nanny and sign papers and talk business and money and schedules.  He loves them so much that He moved the heart of a kind woman to love them and serve them for these next three weeks.

Oh how He loves us!  Woohoooooooo!

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It Just Keeps Getting Better

Once upon a time, four years ago, I happened upon a blog of an adoptive mom who had just returned from Ukraine with her two new daughters, both with special needs.  That night, sitting on the couch with my laptop and cup of coffee, my life was changed.  Our lives were changed.

Tears streamed down my face that night as I read every post on the adoption blog.  That night I learned about life in Ukraine for orphans with disabilities.  A whole world was opened to me that I hadn’t even known existed.  I learned about school-age children, the size of infants, living their lives bedridden in their cribs.  I learned about mental institutions in rural villages that house the disabled- hidden from the rest of the world. I read for hours that night.  One blog led to another led to a website that led to another site.  My heart was broken and I knew something big was happening.  God meant for Jed and I to do something about this issue and these children, and He was serious about it.

Now, four years later, I’m in Ukraine, sitting on my bed with my laptop and my cup of coffee, realizing just how serious God was that night.  Yeah, He wasn’t messing around.  🙂

All along the journey that began that fateful night, God has been growing and refining the dreams He’s given us for orphans with disabilities here in Ukraine.  We knew then, and we know now that He has called us here with a specific focus on bedridden children.  That is a population of orphans that is extremely difficult to reach, but God has been very clear that they are our people.  They are the ones we are to fight for.  Of course, we are absolutely in love with many, many people with disabilities here that are not confined to their beds.  The big vision of Wide Awake includes varying levels of ability, but we knew then and we know now that God has a special plan for us that involves bedridden children.

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The big question has always been “How will we gain access to the bedridden children?”  Those children are generally more hidden away and it’s difficult for outsiders to work with them at all.  Perhaps orphanage directors are afraid, maybe they are protective…we will probably never fully understand the reasons.  We have just known that it would be up to God to bring those children across our path.  After all, it’s not like we can just walk into any old orphanage and ask to be shown to the crib section.  Ha!  Access to medically fragile kids only comes with relationship and trust.  Those things take time, so we have not been in a hurry.

But God.

Last week our team arrived at Romaniv and learned that two new little boys had been transferred to our Isolation Building from the baby house orphanage.  When Jed saw them for the first time his heart skipped a beat (or two).  They are both five years old and the size of infants.  They are bedridden and have spent their whole lives thus far in their cribs.  They are exactly our target population.  For these boys and others just like them, we have sold everything and moved across the globe.  After months (actually years!) of wondering how we would gain access to children like these, they have literally been dropped in our laps.  We didn’t even have to find them.  They were brought to us! I still can’t believe it.

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 Mission to Ukraine has been faithfully serving at Romaniv for five years.  Over those five years, they have loved and given and loved and given some more.  They have brought Jesus there and His light and love have changed everything.  It is not the same place it once was.  The staff are not the same.  The Directors are not the same.  The boys are definitely not the same!  Because of MTU’s incredible faithfulness, we now reap the harvest.  We are standing on the shoulders of giants.  Because of the amazing work they’ve done over the years, we have full access to our boys in the Isolation Room.  We can visit any time we want.  We can take the boys to the Sensory Room.  We can try new things and interact intentionally with each boy.  The Directors welcome us whenever we can come and invite us to even come more often.  It’s a situation we could only ever dream about.

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Now we have new boys who are completely bedridden and we have full access to them.  We even got to visit on Tuesday and talk with the staff about some of their biggest concerns about caring for these new boys!  Today we got to bring them a pack n play so they are not confined to their room every minute of the day.  We got to bring them mobiles for the cribs.  We got to observe their feedings and give input and advice. We get to be actively involved in improving their quality of life and it’s unreal.

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Testing out the new pack n play!

Each one of our boys in the Isolation Building holds a special place in our hearts.  We are learning their likes and dislikes, their habits and cues.  I really can’t express in words how much they mean to us and how great our love is for them.  They are our babies, each one of them.  I can’t even believe we have the honor of knowing them and loving them.  And now we have two more to love.

I guess I just had to share how awesome our God is.  His plans are so perfect.  He is so wise.  He placed us right where He wanted us, knowing all He had in mind.  He brought us here with an impossible-to-reach population in mind and then proceeded to drop them right in our laps.  Incredible.  I can not thank God enough for our dear friends at MTU.  They have paved the way through many hours of love and care, and they loved our boys before we even had a clue of their existence.   We will be forever grateful.  Now to watch and see what God does next!  🙂

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Our little celebrities 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP: A Week in Pictures

Last week was a very special week!  We had a week-long day camp at Romaniv orphanage! For the older, higher functioning boys the staff of Mission to Ukraine does a full-on VBS type camp for them with games, snacks, crafts, and lessons about Jesus.  They had Olympic games, opening and closing ceremonies complete with the Ukrainian flag and National Anthem, and LOADS OF FUN.

Since the doors to Romaniv were open to us all week we just had to take advantage of it and spend some special time with our Boys in Isolation.  Our boys could not handle, nor participate in a camp like the bigger boys, so we decided to spend the week taking small groups of boys aside each day in order to have some more intentional interactions with them.  It was AMAZING.  It was like a dream to be able to be with them one on one, to see them every day, to give them the individual attention they need.  Woohoo!

I shared a small glimpse of each day on the Wide Awake Facebook page, but I know many of you aren’t on FB.  Plus, there were sooooo many wonderful pictures to share- totally deserving of a big fat blog post.  Here you go!  I’m just cutting and pasting the FB blurbs and then you can see the pics of that day following the blurb.  Mmmmk?

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 1: I can’t even express the joy that was today. We decided for the Isolation Room kiddos we would use this week to focus on one-on-one interactions with the boys. So each day we will be taking a group of 5 boys aside and interacting with them more intentionally.

The Directors gave us the use of the sensory room and it was like heaven. Today we heard the first laughs ever (for us) from two of our boys. Big, hearty, belly laughs that we didn’t even know they had inside them. It was like hearing your baby’s first laugh- PURE JOY. These boys are growing and changing. It’s miraculous. Praise God for His love that never fails!!!

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B loves the weighted blanket.

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…and he also loves the ball pit!

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Lesa helped us with the boys on Monday and Tuesday with her 14 year old son Igor. They were awesome. We were so happy to meet them!!

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Sweet S is out of his wheelchair!!!!

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Look at all that eye contact! And a smile!!!!! A few months ago we would have never dreamed smiles like this would be possible from V.

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 2

Today we fell in love… again. 

It started out a bit rough, with miscommunication and WAAAAAY too many boys with high needs in too small of a space. Ha! We really want the Sensory Room to be a safe place, and boys were stressed and self-harming, so we had to act fast. We switched boys in and out till we has the right mix, and then had a super great time.

Yuroslav, oh sweet boy. He rarely joins us on our Friday visits, content to sit outside in the hall calling out “Mama! Papa!” every so often and sucking his thumb. Today we learned he is strong and he LOVES to play ball. It’s awesome to have the time to connect with the harder-to-reach boys. We can observe them closely and try different ways to make that human connection.

Two days down, three more to go!

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Misha is blind and he loves music. He ADORES music.

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Did I mention music makes him very happy? 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 3: 
Today was interesting and different and goooood. When we arrived, we learned it was “bath day”. We didn’t know, since we never go there on Wednesdays. So, we first waited for baths to be done. It was pouring down rain outside and when we asked the caregivers if we could take a few boys to the other building to the Sensory Room after bath time they WERE NOT having it.  So, we winged it! 

We brought all the boys together and basically did what we normally do on Fridays. At first the caregivers said we could only have one hour with them because they needed to clip their nails and such (remember, it’s Bath Day), but once we got going they relaxed and let stay for the whole time. 

There was some great connection time with several of the boys. Zhenya even fell asleep in my lap! Happy sigh…  We got to connect with a caregiver we had never met before and ease her load for a couple of hours. All in all it was a very sweet time. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Pray we have a dry day tomorrow so we can visit the Sensory Room again! Thanks  

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Christina and Maks got to come help on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. This was Maks’ first time to Romaniv. Thank you dear friends!

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Zhenya loves a good cuddle. 🙂

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ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 4: 
Today was a day of hopes fulfilled, and dreams dreamed.  

The sun was out so we got to take a few boys to the Sensory Room! There were 4 boys in particular we were hoping to work with today and lucky us, the caregivers were like “Go for it! Take whoever you want! Take them all!” Ha! We took our 4, plus sweet Yuroslav and Valera for extra cuteness sake.

We had amazing interactions with two of the boys we brought. They are usually very medicated and they sleep a lot. During our time in the Sensory Room they were alive! They smiled and giggled and responded very well. Just what we had hoped for!

The other two boys are always highly medicated and distant. They don’t interact with others at all. Unfortunately we were not able to break through to them today. Their bodies were in the room, but their minds were far away. We have much work to do before we can connect with them in a meaningful way. We dream of that day- the day we truly see who they are. 

We are not discouraged. We are hopeful! We are thankful for an open Director who cares, willing and cooperative caregivers, those who have paved the way for this work. and most of all for a God who is bigger. NO ONE is beyond His reach! One step at a time…

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Misha was not so sure about the swing at first…then promptly fell asleep.

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Valera loves stuffed animals of all kinds. He is so sweet.

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Hahahahahaha

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Orhan does so well with a weighted vest. He is making good gains these days, learning to be less aggressive…one step at a time…

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Z needs to taste everything

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Oooooh it makes noise!

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Tasting the puzzle…

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Leaning in for the cuddle…

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So sweet…

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Ha! Unexpected kiss! Hahaha

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We had hoped to connect with these sweeties, but they are unreachable right now- locked inside themselves. We’re praying for wisdom in how to help them. Pray with us!

ROMANIV DAY CAMP, DAY 5:
Today was the end of a wonderful week spent with Our Boys. Almost all the boys got to go outside to spend some time in the sun and it was WONDERFUL. Their faces lit up when they saw the team arrive for another day. Like “You guys are here AGAIN???” It’s awesome to see them begin to walk, scoot, and crawl to the door when we arrive, hoping they get to go out to play for a bit. 

Today after camp all the volunteers, the staff of Mission to Ukraine, and a couple of the orphanage staff went to a park for a picnic. We celebrated the wonderful strides that have been made this past year, and began to dream of the work that is yet to be done.

Our dreams are BIG. We dream of each boy having an occupation- a way to spend his time, a way to contribute to the world around him. We dream of the Boys serving each other in greater ways; we dream of boys learning to read, learning to walk, learning to speak. Mostly we dream of a place for the boys to be where they can know the love of their Father God through the love of a family. I could go on and on. 

One day at a time, one boy at a time, one YES at a time. Thank you for sharing in the journey! Today, wherever you may be, may you live this day Wide Awake- ready for the next YES that lies before you.

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Sergey got to come help on Monday, Thursday, and Friday. I can’t even tell you what a wonderful servant he is. Sergey KNOWS the boys well and he loves them very much. Thank you Seriozha!!!

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Our wonderful Nina got to come on Friday!!! Every single boy loves Nina. She has the biggest heart and such a wonderful, peaceful way with them. Thank you Nina!!!

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At the closing ceremonies. Our hope for Ukraine is in God alone. He knows and He cares. 🙂

Our dear friend Olya, from Kyiv, came to stay with our family Monday through Wednesday so Jed and I could both be at Romaniv those days.  On Thursday I went, and Jed stayed home with the kids, and then on Friday Jed went and I stayed home.  We both really wanted to be at the picnic on Friday, so wonderful Dima, the driver for MTU, drove the kids and me out to Romaniv on Friday to meet the team and go to the picnic together.

Our kids have been longing and dreaming of visiting Romaniv.  They hear about the boys all the time.  They see their pictures almost daily.  These boys have become a huge part of our lives and our kids were dying to meet them in person.  We haven’t gotten permission yet for Addy and Ezra to visit the boys with us on Fridays, but we feel like they are ready (Hava and Seth are too young).  I wasn’t so sure before- I was afraid Addy and Ezra would be frightened, we didn’t know the boys as well.  But they have been asking more and more, so Friday was a good chance to give them a little taste of Romaniv to see what they thought.

Dima drove us to Romaniv and I told the kids if the team wasn’t quite finished and if they were still inside we would ask the caregivers if we could come inside to see the boys just for a minute.  You would have thought we had backstage passes to the concert of a lifetime they were so excited!

When we arrived the team was still cleaning up, so I took the kids to the Isolation building.  They were immediately greeted by the boys who were outside and I was so proud of them!  They looked the boys in their eyes and shook their hands- even Hava and Seth!  They looked a little unsure, but not really afraid.  Then Addy and Ezra came inside the building and got to meet several of the boys inside.  They knew them from the pictures and they were OVER THE MOON to meet them!  You could see they were excited, but also nervous.  I mean, it’s a big sensory experience even for adults, so I thought they did really well.  The boys can look kind of scary, it’s super stinky, but they both really loved it.  They have been begging to go back, so we just need to pray and ask God what He has in store for our kids at Romaniv.  I hope soon they can be joining us regularly.  It’s part of who they were created to be!

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Addy and Seriozha. His face lit up when he saw her. I wonder when he last saw a little girl?

IMG_6491Overall it was a fantastic week.  I can’t even tell you how extraordinarily thankful we are for those who have gone before us.  For years, MTU and several volunteers have faithfully poured in to the boys and the staff at Romaniv.  Without their faithfulness and perseverance we would have never had the week that we did.  The Directors are so open to the help- that is a huge answer to prayer.

There is a lot of work to be done.  There are many boys not pictured here because they were too medicated, or too withdrawn to participate at all.  There are many boys still locked inside themselves.  Our boys still spend the majority of each day tied to their beds because there isn’t enough staff to keep them safe from themselves and others.  Many of them only see the sun when we come on Fridays.  Oh there is so much to be done.  BUT weeks like this remind us of just how far things have come.  God has done the miraculous in Romaniv and He’s not about to stop now.

Praise God for his abounding love for these boys and their caregivers.  Praise God that what was once hidden is now brought to light.  Praise God that He has a hope and a future for each boy, for each person He created.  And praise God we get to partner with him in that!

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Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving (a day late)!

I had a witty post simmering in my brain all about the antics of yesterday. I have a photo diary of potatoes soaking in the bathtub, turkey in its brine on the covered balcony, cornbread for stuffing, and out-of-thisuniverse pumpkin pie vareniki that we created. But I just can’t go there today. It’ll have to wait.
I spent this morning at Romaniv Orphanage for boys and men, and I have so much more to share than turkey wit. I wish so badly that you could have come along with me. I know if you did you would never be the same. No one can be the same after spending time at Romaniv.
We first visited Romaniv in April of 2012. Jed and I, our eyes met as we looked over the room of boys, “Yes, this is what we were created for.”
In May we visited again, looking with different eyes, ones that were wise to the fact that soon these boys would become a part of normal life for us.
Today I returned for the first time since our move and I am wrecked.
These are not just boys in pictures. These are not just sad stories to gain your sympathy. These are Zhenya, Vitalik, Misha, Valera, and Sergei. These are little hands that hold mine and walk the halls and throw balls and build legos. These are little hands and big hands that hit themselves and each other for stimulation. These are faces that smile, and frown, and grimace, and bite; faces that are smooth like a baby and faces that are covered with the scars of self-abuse. These are eyes that light up, eyes that are clever and knowing- even when the mouth can’t speak, eyes that are blind, and eyes that are distant, almost unaware of the other humans around. These are not just another need that is unmet. These are not just another story to make you feel guilty for your wealth.
These are real boys. They are now a very real part of our life. These are “our” boys. And they are beautiful.
One boy, who is now a man is unable to walk, but there is no wheelchair for him. Day after day he lays in a small room in his bed while life passes him by. The caregivers want so much for that to NOT be his life, but what can they do?
As I sat at his bedside and rubbed his back, unable to speak to him in his language my heart broke and melted at the same time. My heart broke for him, that this is his reality, that when I return home to my Jed and my babies he will still be lying there alone. But my heart melted at the same time with the love of the Father. God sees and He knows. God has brought people to Romaniv for such a time as this. This boy, this man, he is not forgotten. God brought Nina, a volunteer for Mission to Ukraine, to his bedside to hold him like a Mommy and feed him a banana. God is on the move in Romaniv, and God is on the move on behalf of the orphans of Ukraine.
So, today I am thankful for the beautiful boys of Romaniv. I’m thankful for the opportunity to love them, hold them, play with them, and look them in the eye. I’m thankful for Nina, who has her own son with special needs at home, and faithfully visits Romaniv each week and is called “Mama” by many. I’m thankful that although the need looks outrageous, and the situations seems impossible, God has made promises and they WILL be fulfilled. These boys are not beyond His grasp, not too far from His reach. The one with the most scars from continually banging his head on the wall is not beyond hope. Each of these boys is known by the Father and He will have His way.
For these boys, and other boys and girls just like them, God asked us to move across the world and be His hands and feet. I’m so, very, very thankful for that. May God have His way in Romaniv and in the lives of the fatherless all across Ukraine. So be it!

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Wide Awake Podcast

Rumblings and Ramblings

God is on the move.
I feel the rumblings.
I have realized something about myself as we’ve traveled along on this journey over the past 2 years. Right before God does something big, or says something big to me I get restless.  I start to feel like everything in my life is wrong, I get irritable.  I cry a lot.  Poor Jed!  I don’t have any explanation for why that happens.  Maybe God is trying to prepare my heart for what He’s about to do or say and instead of reacting in quiet obedience, waiting before Him, I freak out because I love to be in control.  I’m a wee bit of a control freak, I’ll admit.  🙂  I’ve had to give up a lot of control over the past 2 years and while it’s felt great, I’m aware that I still have a long way to go.
For whatever reason, that’s how my frail, far-from-perfect self reacts to the rumblings I feel when God’s about to move.  About a week and a half ago the rumblings began.  For the first time ever I quickly recognized what was going on.  Then I got excited!  God’s about to do or say something big!  I don’t have a clue what He’s up to, but I want to be ready.  As the rumblings have come it has pushed me to prayer and worship.  My times with the Lord have never been so sweet.  I love His ways.
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On Friday night we went to the Regional Vineyard Conference.  As we worshiped with other believers I was remembering the only other Vineyard Conference we’ve ever been to- in Ukraine!
“I want to be there so bad.  I just want to pack up and go.  Who cares about our house?  Who cares about finances?  I just want to be there.”
Those were some of the things I was chatting about with the Lord during worship.
“I feel such urgency to get there.  The need is URGENT.  Those children need help now!  Those Ukrainians doing the stuff need help now!  I just want to go!”
As I was praying for the children I saw a clear picture in my mind that I know was a gift from Him.  I saw a picture of the Lost Boys orphanage like I was looking in at the grounds from the front gate.  All of a sudden I saw Jesus round the corner, walking along the paths.  He had a gentle smile on His face as He walked along, past the eating sheds, past the spot in the garden where we spent time with the boys.  He walked along, touching the flowers, smiling to Himself.  It was approaching evening and I knew that the boys were inside asleep.  I saw Jesus approach the building where they slept and He almost winked at me as He entered the building where He walked among their beds and cribs, touching each one on the head.  As they slept He walked among them, loving them, seeing them, knowing each one by name.
It was beautiful.
He is there.  He sees.  He knows.  Yes, He wants us to act.  Yes, He wants us to be his hands and feet.  But we simply can’t be there yet.  We are working as hard as we can, but we aren’t there yet.  As He winked at me it was like He was saying, “It’s okay, I’ve got this.  You work hard, you get here as quick as you can- but I’ve got this.”
He’s got it!
Jed and I know we aren’t those children’s salvation.  We are just willing bodies.  He’s got it.  HE is their Savior and He is there RIGHT NOW.
Praise God for that.
So, we will keep plugging along, preparing our lives and our hearts for our move.  We aren’t gone yet though, so while here we will do whatever we can from afar.  We will pray, we will give, we will share the children with those who haven’t yet heard of their plight.
Will you join us?
Please pray that as Jesus walks among the boys that they would feel His presence and that the love of the Father would surround them, invading their hearts and minds, holding them close.
Father of orphans, champion of widows, is God in his holy house. 
Psalm 68:5

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The Day We’ve Been Waiting For

Today was huge.  Today will stand out as one of the most memorable days of my life.  That may sound dramatic, but it’s so true!  Today was a day when God brought us full circle- from beginnings, ideas, and hopes, to reality.  Today I made a friend for life.  Today God showed that He is the biggest and the strongest.
We met Alyona at her house at 8:00, drank some coffee, and hit the road.  Slavik’s brother drove Alyona, Jed, Mark (Alyona’s almost 3-year-old), and me to the town.  Yesterday Slavik used money we had brought, given by all of you, to buy a trunk full of diapers and some soda.  I am sooooooo sorry to say we forgot to take pictures of the gifts!!!  🙁  We were so excited and emotional that it didn’t occur to us till we had already left to go home that we hadn’t taken pictures.  Sorry!  Slavik called the Director about 30 minutes before we arrived to say we were coming.  Ha!  While she said that was fine, we weren’t sure if we would be allowed to see any boys.  We hoped and prayed we would see them.
We had a great time in the car on the way.  I love Alyona.  I really love her so much.  We connect.  We “get” each other.  I know if we lived near each other we would be good friends.  It’s not every day you meet a couple with the same heartbeat, dreaming the dreams we dream, doing the things we long to do.  Alyona is my kind of gal and she and Slavik are quite the team.  They are dreamers who get it done.  I love that.  Anyway, we laughed and chatted all the way there.  It was fun.
I was fine, and then I saw the sign for the village.  My word, my hands were sweating, my heart was beating so fast.  It was crazy.  We pulled into the gates of the orphanage and it was unreal.  I don’t really know how to describe all the feelings.  We’ve been praying for this place, reading about this place, loving this place from afar for 18 months or so.  Fundraising, dreaming, looking at pictures…now those pictures were reality!  I saw the shed where the boys eat, the gazebo where I’ve seen pictures of visits and the tulips.  Oh Melanie, I had tears for you when I saw all the beautiful tulips.  I told Jed “Look!  Melanie’s tulips!!!”  They were lovely today my friend.  🙂
We parked the car and unloaded the diapers and the soda….while not taking pictures.  Sorry again!  We weren’t able to take any pictures inside the orphanage.  We didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize our presence there.  I pray I never forget the pictures in my mind.  Alyona asked, and we were told we could visit with some of the boys!!!!!  PRAISE GOD!  They set up several benches in the courtyard near the eating sheds and the boys began to come.  Oh, the precious, beloved children of the Father.  If only they knew how much they are treasured- not just by Him, but by so many of us from near and far away.  I recognized many of the faces from photos of previous visits.  Some faces I had never seen. They sat on the benches with shining eyes, clapping their hands with excitement.  Then a couple other boys in wheelchairs were brought over.  Oh, my word, the cuteness was unbelievable!!!!!  These boys are hidden jewels.  One “boy”, who is really a man, could hardly contain his excitement.  He bounced up and down on the bench, laughing, eyes lit up with glee.  I will never forget that face.
We greeted the boys and then sang a song with some motions.  Most of the boys participated, some watched, and some tried to get their hands to move in the right way but couldn’t quite manage it.  Oh, but they tried!  One sweet little boy looked to be about 5 or 6 years old and was in a wheelchair.  You could see he was paying very close attention.  The wheels were definitely turning.  He is a beautiful little boy.  Alyona told them the story of Easter with some plastic eggs with little symbols inside of them.  They ate it up.  They couldn’t get enough of the pats, hand-holding, squeezes.  They loved Alyona and she was very good with them.  I pray that God reaches beyond their natural understanding and draws each of them to Himself.  They heard truth today and no one can take that away from them.
We only had about a half hour with the boys and then it was time for them to go to lunch.  We were a little disappointed it was such a short time, but then we got a present we weren’t expecting.  Since we were outside and the boys were to eat outside in the shed we got to see all the mobile boys walk by.  Many, many boys walked by us!!!!  That may not seem like a big deal, but you should have seen Alyona’s face light up.  “Look at all these capable boys!  So many of them I have never seen!  This is so great!!!”  We greeted them as they walked by.  Some looked away, some clapped their hands with excitement of seeing strangers, some yelled “Privyet!!!” (hi) as loud as they could.  Ha!  It was awesome.  It was so precious to see the older boys leading the little ones by the hand down the sidewalk.  Men and boys together, all in need of love, all deserving of that and more.  Next to the eating shed there is a building with a flight of stairs leading down.  One young man with Down syndrome who we had seen walking around doing chores carried a little one down the stairs to a wheelchair.  Alyona pointed “Look at how they care for each other…such treasures.”
Our visit was brief but truly amazing.  At the beginning of this week, we thought we would not be able to go.  Then we found out we would go, but still doubted we would see any boys.  Then we not only got to see boys, but we got to spend some great time with some, and see MANY!  God did a miracle.  I will never discount that time.  We truly believe that God is at work behind the scenes.  God has put this remote place on so many people’s radars.  Why?  So many people from so many parts of the world love these boys they have never met.  Why?  Slavik and Alyona are so persistent and determined to not let these boys be forgotten.  Why?  There is also much resistance to any help in that place.  Why?  I don’t know the details, but I firmly and absolutely believe that God has a big plan in place.  The enemy would love to keep those boys hidden forever, but God is not in agreement with that.  He has brought them to light for a purpose.  Again, why?  Because they are His children.  The gleam in their eyes makes His heart swell.  He sees in each of them the man that He has created them to be.  They are His precious creations and we believe He has a very big plan for them.
Outside the gates…
As we sat in the car outside the gates and Alyona prayed my heart swelled with faith in God.  HE is doing it folks!  He is bringing light into dark places.  He set Slavik and Alyona loose on this place and they are not going to back down!  They are fighters.  I am so proud of them and so humbled by them.  They are giving their lives for children all over this region.  They have a map of their region in the entry hall of their house.  The map is covered with little flags- one color for orphanages that have people ministering there, and one color for orphanages that are yet to be reached.  Slavik and Alyona are the real deal.
I wish so much I could sit down with each of you and share face-to-face what we have experienced here.  There is so much in our hearts, so much God is speaking, so much He is working in this place.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep on saying it: He WILL win the day.
Praise God for His victory today!!!
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; 
on those living in the land of the shadow of death 
a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9:2
 

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It’s Ukrainian Tradition!!!

(Jedge here)…. after 4 rounds of Konjac and toasting to who-knows-what, my name affectionately sounds more like “Jedge”, in the mouths of Ukrainians on a midnight train to Odessa.
We arrived in Odessa at 5:30am and we fell out of our train in a haze, like Odysseus’ sea weary, road warriors.

Apparently getting foreigners drunk is the real Ukrainian tradition.  We found this out from Nastia, a beautiful, young pastor at the Odessa Vineyard.  Nastya and her fiancé, Andreas (a fellow Swede), have just started to pastor the church in Odessa.  Oh, in case you are worried, we didn’t get drunk.  Casey Jones watched his Konjac and we learned 30 different ways to say no thanks in Russian, Ukrainian, and German.
Jedge!  It’s Ukrainian tradition!
The spread
There is nothing like being rocked to sleep on a train, only to be woken at 3 am by the extreme heat and stuffy air of a soviet era train ride across Ukraine.
We arrived in Odessa, dropped our bags off at Andrea’s Apartment, and then we took a taxi across Odessa to meet Alyona at a bus stop.  From there we traveled outside of town, on a Marshutka (little bus), to an orphanage for girls with special needs.
It was a nice facility, with flowers and beautiful shrubs and trees landscaping the grounds.  We walked into a small performance hall/theater where the girls started to make their way in to meet us.  We got to give hugs, learn names, and see their beautiful jewelry.  They are so proud of their bracelets, necklaces, earrings.
The girls.  Precious creations of the Father
We got to sing songs, do hand motions, laugh a lot, exercise, hear a story, and do a craft.  Alyona weekly spends time with these girls.  She is such an amazing servant to these lovely children of God.  As we left the orphanage I felt happy, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about the children that stay in beds most of the day, if not all day.  So far, Odessa has clarified the need God has laid on our hearts.
Alyona, a true servant
Kim and I dream of a home for these children to get physically healthy, identify their delays, develop therapeutic treatment plans for them, held by loving arms every day… as much as they want.  Our dream starts with one home with 4-5 of these precious children and it builds.
  
This is a God-size dream because right now these children are hidden.  No one gets to visit them. This dream is not about warm-fuzzy, good-feeling ideas.  Our dream, our hope is not in ourselves, not in man, not in goodwill, not in the social gospel… Our hope is in Christ alone.
The same power that conquered the grave is at work here.  His Kingdom is breaking into the present.  He has moved thousands of his children, across the world, to make wrong things right in this situation.
He moved on Andrea Roberts to advocate for special-needs adoption; 500 children in the last 5 years.  He met Alyona when she was 11 years old at a Sunday school.  God has gripped Julia Nalle’s heart to let no child move out of the reach of adoption.  She finds children who are about to age out or go to an institution and she intercedes until they are adopted.  He awoke our hearts to His children who are wasting away on beds, 18 months ago.  Kim was doing the same thing you are doing right now; reading a blog about God’s children.   You are one of us.  How will you join in God’s expanding Kingdom?  Are you supposed to pray?  Yes, if nothing else you pray.  Each of you will be a part of this great story of God’s love.
We also know that there is injustice wherever you focus your attention around the world.  Each one of us is called to say yes to Father God.  “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” – Romans 12:21   If your hearts are not burning for this issue, just ask God for your mission – if you don’t already know.
Well, we have 6 more days in Odesa Oblast to see what the Father is doing and bless it and be blessed by it too.  Keep praying for the director of the “Lost Boys” orphanage.  Pray that fear will go away and that she will experience the love of God in her heart.  Because we know that “perfect love drives out fear.” 1John 4:18a
We are now heading out to buy our train tickets for the trip to Kremenchuk on April 29 and to tour the ancient city of Одесса (Odessa).   
 
Salud,
 
Jedge

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Back in the Saddle


LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!!!  I know, I know, it may not seem like a big deal, but to me this is huge!  Ever since I was 13 years old I’ve been traveling the world.  All through high school I spent my summers going overseas on mission trips.  I chose the college I attended based on their summer missions program.  I married into a family of missionaries.  Jed traveled to Europe serving with his dad.  Jed and I have led several teen and adult teams on missions.  We have a huge world map on our wall and people we love all over the world.  We fancy ourselves the vagabond hippy type (with a mortgage and 4 kids in tow)….hmmm…..

Four years ago we visited my in-laws in Kosova and shortly after that, our passports expired.  That was devastating to me.  Not just that it costs an arm and a leg to renew them (ugh), but that we didn’t have a great urgency or need to renew them right away.  We knew God wanted us here where we are and we weren’t going anywhere soon.  He called us to the foster babes of our city and our heart was here with them.  He called us to a local church where we have grown, loved, and been loved.  It was a fabulous time of loving babies and raising up our own, but it felt like a part of us- or a part of who we dreamed God had created us to be was put on hold- maybe forever.  I know I sound a bit melodramatic, but that’s how I get about my dreams.  It’s the high school drama nerd in me.  🙂  We were willing to go and God had us here.  What’s up with that???

Fast-forward to January when God starts to stir up a season of change in us, then we commit to the sweetie overseas, and then that falls through- but God does not.  He is leading us and guiding us in the manner He knows we will follow.  He’s smart like that.  We don’t know what the end result is, but we know we must obey or miss the adventure of a lifetime.  So we’re going.  We’re going overseas in April.  Yep, that’s right!  We’re headed to Eastern Europe to scope things out and see what the Father would have us do.  We’re lining up contacts right now, people who are doing awesome orphan care, and seeing if we can meet and chat.  We don’t want to reinvent the wheel, we simply want to see what God is doing and what part He may want us to play.  We’ve got some pretty big ideas and dreams and no idea if they could be reality, but God knows.  Perhaps He’s leading us there to meet our next child?  Perhaps He’s leading us there so we can come back and put fire under the feet of the believers here in our town?  Perhaps He’s leading us there to help for good?  We don’t know, but we’re excited to find out!

If you would pray for us we’d sure appreciate it.  Specifically, we need to know who God wants us to meet with so we can set those things in motion.  We’ve put lots of feelers out there, but want God’s ultimate plan to come to pass.

More to come!

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