Foster Care – Wide Awake International

URGENT- Family Needed

Update 4/15: An adoptive family has stepped forward for Preston! They are currently compiling their adoption dossier as quickly as possible. If you would like to donate to their adoption fund follow this link: https://reecesrainbow.org/129794/sponsorrichardson2

Hello Dear Friends.

I’m coming to you today with an urgent need. My heart is heavy and I’m pleading with you to share, pray, and consider how you could play a part in this story.

Remember “Preston” (formally known as ‘Baby A’)? I wrote a detailed blog about him here. To jog your memory, he was dying at the institution in October 2016. We went there in the night and after calls to people in high places of the Ukrainian government, he was rescued and he lived. He now lives with a wonderful family in our church and is available for international adoption.

We just learned that Preston has 6 months to be adopted or he will be returned to the Institution.

Friends, this simply CAN NOT happen.

Life in the institution almost killed Preston. He was hours from death when we came to him that October night. I am certain returning to that place would be a death sentence for him.

He is so smart, so beautiful, so social. He is a part of a family now and he is adored. Preston has blossomed in family life and we just can’t let him be orphaned again.

Due to personal circumstances and Ukrainian law, Preston cannot remain in his current living situation. He is loved very much, but all involved know international adoption is the best plan for him.

So I am asking you to please DO something to help our boy. Do not just read this and move on. Imagine your son or daughter, your nephew or niece, safe in their bed at home one day and the next day left alone in a mental institution. What would you do to prevent that reality? I know what I would do. I would shout. I would share the story. I wouldn’t give up and I wouldn’t shut up until they were free. Preston is no less worthy of that effort.

Here are ways you can help:

1. Share this post far and wide.

2. Donate to Preston’s adoption grant. The donations are tax-deductible and help remove the financial burden of the adoption process for the family that chooses him. Donate here.

3. PRAY! God knows and sees our boy. May His will be done.

4. Consider if you could be Preston’s family. Why not you? Do not assume this is someone else’s YES. Maybe this is your YES. Please consider.

Help me shout for Preston! He can’t speak up for himself. We are his voice.

A Love Story, Part 1

This is the first in a series of posts about our adoption. It’s a miraculous story and I pray God uses it to speak to other families who are considering adoption. So many boys and girls like our Vladik wait and wait for their lives to begin. Every child deserves the love of a family. Would you read with an open heart and ask God how He would have you respond?

This is a love story. For God so loved Vladik, that He preserved his life until the day his mommy and daddy would find him. For God so loved our family, that He picked us up out of our lives and dropped us across the world so that we could find our baby.

One night, in August 2010, with newborn Seth, our foster baby asleep at my side, I was browsing online. I have no idea what I was looking for, but somehow I came across the blog of a woman who had just returned from Ukraine, having adopted two little girls with Down Syndrome. Her story caught my attention and I ended up reading her whole adoption story in one evening. One blog led to another, which led to another, and pretty soon I found myself immersed in a world I had had no idea existed, the world of special needs adoption. My heart was broken in two, never to be the same.

Jed and I always knew we would adopt someday. We believed in orphan care and it was important to us. Since before we were married we had dreamed of moving overseas to care for orphans. That’s why I became a nurse! While we waited for God to send us overseas we fostered medically fragile babies. So yeah, adoption was on our radar, but not orphans with disabilities, or kids with disabilities in general. We just hadn’t thought of it. Well, maybe that’s not all true. We had thought of it and then rejected it. “Yes, we’ll adopt- but only healthy kids. We could never raise a child that would require our hands-on care forever.” We fostered babies with special needs, but that wasn’t permanent.

Jed with baby Seth, during our fostering days 🙂

A while later I came upon Julia’s blog. Julia was advocating and still does advocate, for orphans with disabilities. Fun Fact: We have since met each other twice here in Ukraine, and Julia even got to come to Romaniv to meet our Boys! Isn’t God fun? Julia was advocating for a little guy in Ukraine with Apert Syndrome. Did you know our new son Vladik has this same syndrome? Like I said, God is fun 🙂 I had never heard of that syndrome and didn’t know anything about it, but that boy struck me. I read her post and learned that he was 4 years old and about to be transferred to a bad place- an institution. He needed to be adopted quickly. I’m telling you what, I fell for that baby hard. Jed came home one night to a red-faced, sobbing wife and was a little confused. Ha! I started rambling to him about Ukraine and orphans with disabilities and mental institutions and teenagers in cribs and “aging out” and he stood there shocked. I told him “We have to DO SOMETHING. We can’t just sit by and let this happen. We have to do something!!!” He was a little shell-shocked but agreed to pray about it and see if God laid it on his heart as well. What a guy. 🙂

In the meantime “Jonah”, the little Apert guy was constantly on my mind. His face was in my dreams. I would weep over him and all the little ones in cribs as I did the dishes. My heart ached and the ache wouldn’t stop. The Holy Spirit was at work. God was working in Jed’s heart too, and soon we were both praying about how to respond to Jonah, specifically. We prayed for many months. We sought counsel from our parents and our pastor. We prayed some more. Then in early 2011, after much prayer, many miracles, and confirmations (SO MANY), it became abundantly clear that God was asking us to move forward to adopt Jonah.

The first photo we saw of Jonah

We were so excited!!! This sweet one who had captured our hearts would be our son! Gone were the worries about raising a child who would need our care forever. We could have cared less. All of our old worries and hesitations seemed so selfish. In the light of what these babies suffer without a mommy and daddy to fight for them, in the light of what Jesus did for us…how could I be worried about losing our “empty nester” years??? Our child needed us.

So, we sent in the initial commitment paperwork and money to say to the adoption world “You don’t need to advocate for this one anymore, we’re coming for him!” In Ukraine, there is no referral given to adoptive families before they travel. You can pursue the adoption of a certain child, but until you actually get to Kyiv and request their file there is no guarantee that you will actually get that child. Another family could go there first and adopt them, not knowing your intentions. You could get there and that child may not even be adoptable. There are many unknowns. We were aware of that, but when we got the email a few weeks after we had sent in our initial paperwork, letting us know that another American family who was already in Ukraine was adding our boy to their adoption, we were utterly devastated.

Shocked. Heartbroken. Confused. Happy for our Jonah, that he could have a mommy and daddy so soon, but heartsick that they were not us.

We had loved Jonah from afar for many months and now we would never even get to meet him. God had spoken so clearly. We had researched the heck out of Apert Syndrome and felt so well-equipped. Miracles paved the way for us to begin the adoption process. God, what was that all about? What were you doing? Why?

Then God spoke again. Jed was out mowing the lawn, praying, asking God what He was up to and he felt God speak to Him so clearly,

“Jed, I am so much more interested in the process than in the end result. You have one end result in mind, but I’m taking you on a journey. I needed you to love Jonah like a father. I needed you to love him with abandon. I needed you to have that father’s heart for Jonah because I need you to love lots of little boys and girls like Jonah.”

And so it happened that a little boy with Apert Syndrome caught our hearts and led us to Ukraine. A little boy with Apert Syndrome broke our hearts for Ukrainian orphans. He helped us to fall in love with children with disabilities- so in love that we would give up everything and cross the world to touch them and smile at them and hold them in our arms. God used Jonah to start us on the best journey of our lives- the journey to our Boys and our own little treasure, our Vladik.

To be continued 🙂

kimnjed September 1, 2015 4

AdoptionFamilyFoster CareThis Ukrainian Life

A Week in Photos: April 9th + Randomness

Hi Friends!

I hope this finds you well, with a smile on your face and a spring in your step. 🙂 Things are chugging right along around here. We’ve had a great week so far. Lots of normalness, lots of laughs, a few tears, and plenty of coffee to fuel it all.

Last week we celebrated Seth’s Adoption Day! The actual day was while I was in America, so we held off on the festivities till we could all be together. Every year we take a day to celebrate that God brought Seth in to our family. He’s only 4, so in the past we have done it more for our other kids, so that they would see the value in adoption and understand how special it is. This was the first year Seth cared about it. He still doesn’t fully understand what it means, but we often tell him the story of how he came to be our son, so it’s just a matter of time before he “gets it”. All he gets right now is that it’s a special day just for him. He chose to go out to pizza and bowling, so we did!

Oh how I love our boy. Sometimes I can’t believe he didn’t grow inside my belly. Just like our bio kids, I feel like Seth is an extension of me, like a piece of my heart is walking around outside my body. I love my baby. 🙂

Funny Story:

Have you ever heard of “No-Poo”? Despite it’s name, it has nothing to do with toilets. “No-Poo” is a method of hair cleansing without shampoo- get it, no “poo”? Shampoo strips the scalp of much of it’s natural oils that are so good for your hair. When you strip your scalp of it’s oils, then it thinks it needs to produce more oil, then you strip them all again, then your body makes more, and on and on. Anyway, I have been a no-pooer for a couple of years now and it’s the best ever. I use baking soda to wash my hair, and apple cider vinegar to condition it about once a week. It works well for me, but sometimes I feel like the soda is a bit harsh on my scalp. In fact, hardcore no-pooers will never recommend baking soda. But honey and aloe and all those expensive treatments aren’t realistic for me. Baking soda is cheap and accessible, so there. I read somewhere that washing your hair with egg yolk once a month is a good way to give your scalp a little break. So, being the weirdo/fierceless warrior/hippy that I am, I decided to give it a whirl! Why not?

I read in the instructions that you need to make sure to only use the yolk and not the white, and to make sure the water isn’t too hot. Wellllllll….yeah. I separated the egg well, or so I thought. The water wasn’t tooooooo hot, or so I thought. I got out of the shower and yeah, scrambled egg head. There’s nothing more romantic than a husband who will patiently pick cooked egg out of your hair. I’ve got a winner, folks! Now if the Denny’s jokes would just stop. “Oh sweetie, you smell so good, now I just need a side of bacon!” Ha.Ha. Shut up. 😉

I may smell like a diner, but my hair is soft and shiny, so I wouldn’t call it a complete failure…not completely.

We are so thankful for new volunteers! Praise God!

Sweet Aaron needs a mama. Do you know her?

Sweet Ben also needs a mommy and daddy. He is not thriving. Please share our boy!

Stephen is waiting for a family too. Oh my sweet boy. He loves to run and spin. Treasure.

Addy is such a great helper at Romaniv. The boys love her! The feeling is mutual.

Hava took this last picture. I just like it. I love cuddling in with my kiddos and reading a good book. I’m not a “playing” mom. I don’t like to play toys with my kids. I’ll play Just Dance on the Wii, or jump on a trampoline, or bake cookies with you, but please, for the love, don’t ask me to play Barbies. I just.can’t.do.it. What I love most, is reading to my kids. Find us a good read-aloud and it’s all over. I hope they will treasure the memories of us all cuddled up reading a good book. I know I will. 🙂 (I hope they won’t mind the mild scent of brunch)

kimnjed April 9, 2015 6

Foster CareThe Kids

Quiet Giddiness. Giddiness About Quiet.

I can’t even believe what is happening right now at my house. I’m feeling giddy, but I’m afraid to get too giddy, lest I fall in to premature giddiness.

We are having quiet time right now…and it’s quiet.

I know. Unbelievable.

You see, I feel I have good reason to be giddy about this. I’m almost afraid to say it, but I believe we have entered a new phase in our family- uncharted territory, if you will. We may have just entered the phase of “Quiet Time that is Actually Quiet”. Eureka!!!!!!!

Once, ten and a half years ago, we had a baby girl. Then, 21 months after that we had a baby boy. Then 16 months after that we welcomed our first foster baby. That sweet first foster baby ushered us into what I’ll call “The Season of the Baby”.

(I can call it that now, with a smile, but during that time it could have been more honestly called “The Season of Insanity” or “The Season of Non-Stop Newborns for 5 years” or “The Season of G-Tubes and Alarms and Syringes and Gear Up the Wazoo” or “The Season of No Sleep for Five Years”.)

During that time of fostering we had a total of 10 infants, two of them being Havalah and Seth. 🙂 At one point during that time we had a five-year-old, a three-year-old, a 12 week old (Hava), a 9 week old who was born at 29 weeks with multiple special needs, and a Korean high school student. Oh, and just to make things even more exciting, Jed worked in a city an hour away and was finishing his degree in night school. Jesus take the wheel. I get panicky just thinking about it. We loved foster parenting, and I can without a doubt say it was one of the most difficult and most wonderful experiences of my life, but it is not for the faint of heart. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, no regrets, I’m just saying it was a tad exhausting in every way imaginable.

(You can read more about our fostering journey here, here, here, and here.)

BUT, right this very minute Seth is upstairs playing PLAYING!!! in the bedroom, all alone, and he has been for the past hour. I told him we were going to have quiet time and he didn’t have to sleep (naps don’t go over well with Seth), but he needed to play quietly and not come out until the timer went off. The timer just went off and he said he wanted to stay and play longer!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. Seth has just recently really begun to play with toys, and because of some of his prenatal history I never expected a ton of independent play from him. Boy oh boy, is he proving me wrong. Just like he always has. 🙂 What an awesome boy. Hava loves to play alone, so quiet time is like heaven for her. Addy and Ez are home from school today, reading in the other room. Ezra is reading…ALONE. Somebody pinch me.

So, yeah, I’m a little excited about the quiet time possibilities. I feel like a whole new world has opened up. Maybe I could bake, or study language, or read a book, or teach Addy and Ez without 236 interruptions or… think! So far I’ve baked pumpkin cupcakes and swept the floor and written this post, and I still hear him playing away.

Quiet Time for the win!

kimnjed October 10, 2014 3

AdoptionFoster Care

One Step Closer

Today I had my physical for our foster care adoption of Baby S. That was the last bit that we had to do and now his file can go to Central Office for processing! Woohoo!

My baby is growing and changing every day. He was born addicted to drugs, but today he is a smiling, crawling, pointing, babbling, one year old who lights up our lives. I don’t know if we will foster again, but I do know that he was our greatest reward for fostering. We have had a lot of hard times in our last four years involved in foster care. It has been one of the hardest and best things we have ever done. Baby S is our prize 🙂 We are blessed beyond words.

On an “international note”, we had some doubts this past month, but have decided to continue with our international adoption homestudy. We took some time to pray, wait on God, grieve, and listen. God has not told us to stop, so we will continue to move. The country we feel He is calling us to is closing adoptions for the next three months, so in the meantime we’ll do whatever we can do on our end to get ready for their re-open. Bring on the paperwork! It has been such a huge blessing to see the little one we originally committed to meeting his mommy and daddy for the first time. I won’t lie, at first it made me cry. I had so hoped to be his mommy and to have that meeting. I dreamed of it. But, helloooooo???? This is so not about me!!! Ha! God is amazing. He knew this precious one needed out of his country before the adoption closure. As always, His ways are so much higher than our ways. I’m thankful for that.

kimnjed June 28, 2011 0

AdoptionFoster CareOrphan Care

Beginnings

Beginning…beginning of what? That’s a good question. The beginning of this blog, yes, but I had hoped today I would be starting this blog out with talking about the beginning of our adoption journey to kiddo #5. Although things won’t look how I thought they would, I guess technically this is still about the beginning of our adoption journey. Nice rambling start eh? 🙂

I’ll back up. Who are we?
I’m Kim: wife, Mommy, foster mom, home-school teacher, friend, pediatric nurse, coffee snob, lover of all things missions/orphans/helpless/least of these. I’m passionate about the plight of the orphan, both here, and abroad. My husband tells me my passion is “to mother the world”. He may not be that far off!
Then there’s Jed: husband, Daddy, foster dad, friend, social worker, guitar-playin worshippin’ Jesus Freak. He is my best friend and an amazing person. He is selfless and totally committed to pursuing God’s plans and purposes.
Adelina: our oldest daughter, our amazing firstborn. She loves to read and read and read. She is mildly obsessed with Ancient Egypt. Ha! Addie is kind, loves and lives life to the fullest with a perpetual smile on her face.
Ezra: our first son, our “helper”. Ezra loves to color, cuddle mommy, and jump on the trampoline. He adores his older sister (though he would never admit that to anyone). He is loving and tender, always the one to rush to kiss the babies.
Havalah: our joy. The name Havalah means “life”, and she is perfectly suited for her name. Havalah is a bubbly ball of sweetness that you just can’t help but squeeze. She knows what she wants and will let you know it! She is our Polly Pocket and Strawberry Shortcake girl.
Baby “S”: our unexpected miracle. S is our foster baby boy that we have had since his birth. We didn’t expect to keep him when we took him in, but now we can’t imagine our lives without him. He will be one year old on Saturday and what a celebration that will be! I’ll share another time the miracle that is our baby. We are in the process of adopting him through our state. He is happy, beautiful, and absolutely adored.

We created this blog because we recently committed to a little boy through Reeces Rainbow. They suggest you start a blog for your adoption journey. I actually found out about Reeces Rainbow through another blog. I read on that blog about the plight of special needs orphans and was compelled to act. After much prayer we knew God was calling us to pursue a certain boy. I dreamed about him, prayed for him, God spoke, words were given, Scriptures were given, money was given! It was very very clear to us that God was saying “Move!” So we moved. We sent in our committment papers and then today we found out that another family who was in country already had decided to adopt our boy. It was a rare occurence and everyone involved was surprised at the turn of events. We were shocked! What do you do when you know beyond a shadow of doubt what God told you to do, but then things change so radically? What do we make of it? It’s confusing and heartbreaking. When we committed to that boy I felt the feelings you feel when you find out your pregnant, and now I’m not sure what to feel since my “baby” is no longer mine. I know legally he never was mine, but in my heart he was. 🙂

So, now we wait on the Lord. He told us to move, so we will continue to move forward. We will continue our home study paperwork and see where He leads. I decided to start the blog anyhow, because even though the course of our journey has changed, I know it has not ended. It is still the story of our adoptions of #4 and #5. Your guess is as good as mine on how things will turn out! God knows though, may His kingdom come and His will be done. So be it!

kimnjed June 3, 2011 4